A Key Insight that was very beneficial

[Deconstruct_themind]

Hey sorry for the slow response. I don't check this account as much as I should. This is very helpful!

I actually had an urge recently and gave this a try and when I engaged in this process I thought about how porn fools my unconscious brain into thinking it's getting sex. In that sense it kind of makes sense that I would have this urge, since reproduction is probably the most fundamental need after desire. Have you had similar thoughts when you engage in this process and if so what do you tell yourself? I suppose it might make sense to focus on the fact that porn is not the real thing.

Also you mentioned that there were other, more effective forms of meditation. I was just curious what some of those were.

Thanks again for everything!

I'm glad you were able to put this into practice!

So, with regards to what you said about the thought of porn tricking your mind and reproduction being a fundamental desire, certainly that's true. And it's good that you are "seeing" that it is fake. (I mean, we all know it's fake, but like you said, in the moment, it "feels" real.) Sex obviously feels great, of course, but that is, IMHO, what allows porn and masturbation to cover things up, things we'd be better off just facing and dealing with and/or letting go of.

What I suggest is looking at why this normal desire has developed into an addictive behavior (I'm assuming this since we're on this website). Attempt to think back, right before you had that urge...what were you thinking and/or feeling?

Another way to frame it, would be to look at porn as just like heavy drinking and/or drugs. I saw that people used those things to escape from thoughts/feelings they didn't like. (Some people would phrase it as “numb” or “distract” their minds and feelings. Hence what I noted in my original post regarding what I noticed about the thoughts preceding my urges to turn to porn.) So this is, in a way, a meditation method - you are concentrating and seeking the root of the issue.

To give a specific example, notice how in all the romantic movies/shows we watch, characters in the movie usually (and stereotypically) go drinking hard ..... after a breakup or some other negative event. (They are attempting to run away from the pain of the breakup).

With regards to other meditation methods, I do think mantras (e.g. Pure Land Buddhism) are very powerful in helping to purify the mind, but I'm a novice and not really qualified to say much about it. There may be a resource center or a Amitabha Buddhist society near you that could be helpful.

 

[Deconstruct_themind]

Just wanted to provide an update - going on five months plus now w/o PM. Best wishes to everyone on this path - you can do it, and in my personal experience, gets easier over time.