A Life Without Porn

2080Future · Mar 28, 2023

Hello everybody,
I want to discuss something I saw on a YouTube video that has made me think.
For context, the video is by a channel I really like called Better Ideas and is titled "what to do if you don't like your life". The video itself is not about breaking addiction, but its ideas can be applied to it as pointed out by many comments on it.
The main idea I extracted fron the video is that we don't have direct control over our lives, but we have control over our days, which form our life. So changing our lives and breaking addiction is not a gigantic effort of "never doing it again in my whole life", which is a very hard, intimidating and out of control goal, but rather saying "I won't do it today" now, and tomorrow will be another story.
This past month has been rough on me, as I feel like I've lost progress by relapsing more often than usual, and during this month I've kept thinking about the long term future, friends, future family, jobs, and the addiction.
With this way of thinking and living I want to realise that to take control of what worries me there is something to be done today, and that I will worry about tomorrow when it comes. So, in this sense, if I feel anxious that I might gain fait and lose mobility when I'm old, the solution is going to the gym and training today, not when I'm more fat.
This applies to the main theme of this forum. I wrongly often think about "in the future I will have beaten the addiction and have so many friends" or "I will be able to find a girlfriend because I will have worked on myself", but the truth is that this future will not arrive if I don't work on it TODAY.
Many aspects of my life are bad, and I have two choices, either fix them by putting in the work so I can be happier, or just daydream about what would happen after putting in the work.
In conclusion, you cannot beat addiction in one day. But you can beat it one day, and the next, and the next...

Roader to Freedom · Mar 28, 2023

Sounds not bad, but I see one correction that should be made.

Fighting any addiction should not begin with thinking "I won't do it today." if we have "I don't know what about tomorrow." in the back of our heads.
The correct way of thinking should be: "I won't do it today." and have "And from today onwards never again." in the back of our heads. Otherwise, we're naively trying to lie to ourselves.

Every addict who wants to take his or her reboot seriously has to go though one revelation: You will never do it again in your entire life.

It's a base that you simply have to go through. Your mind has to be sure that you're going to fight, and then it attacks you immediately. It's the same as feeling stressful before standing on the stage and knowing that you'll become a star afterwards. You have to know that when you do it, there can't be any way back.

When can you fail? If you tell yourself: "I'll never do it again in my entire life." and the following thoughts happen:
-"Maybe after 90/120/a year I can P/M/O once."
-"It's impossible."

You simply have to think the whole statement through. Today? Yes, but only if it means: from today forever.

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A Life Without Porn

2080Future Fapstronaut

Roader to Freedom Fapstronaut

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