A List of helpful tools to get over withdrawal sympstoms and how to overcome urges

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by glory.indeed, Jul 13, 2019.

  1. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone,
    Currently I have urges and feel some withdrawal so I thought I won´t relapse and open this thread. I wanna collect your ways of overcoming urges and your tools to cope with withdrawal.

    So I guess I will start here and then we will build a long list. Hopefully you will post some inspiring and (new) ways to cope with it. Because the standard ways don´t work well for many people. So let´s build an epic list and help as much people as possible.

    So the first point I wanna mention is your mindset.

    I saw different mindsets working for different people. And that is the first point to understand. There is no universal truth to find which will help anybody out.
    For example: There may be people who follow a monk like lifestyle but you prefer to follow maybe a sports career. Different goals, different mindsets.

    But still you need a mindset. My mindset is that I wanna destroy the negative side effects through rebooting and then live my life the way I want to.
    So what do you want to achieve?
    Actually I recommend a fixed time on hardmode just to speed up recovery. But there are specific threads on this you can look up.
    That was the goal oriented part of the mindset.

    Then you need to be consistent. A dam is useless if it gives in the first time waves hit it. And the way to be consistent is to really wanna change your life. And I tell you that can be hard. So you may have something to do all week long but on the weekend there may be a day or two where everybody is busy and I tell you it will be a fight.

    So here is some "creative" way to support you in changing your life. First you need to change your environment. This can mean cleaning up your room and throw some old useless things away. Buy a new plant. Rearrange your room. Change your environment. This is really important and will support you because for your subconsciousness it will be a "new" room. You seperate yourself from your past and you need to do that to finally step forward. Never let the past drow you down.

    Actually many people recommend installing porn blockers but I can just speak for myself this didn´t work well for me. Because i always found a way to bypass these blockers. You need just a little bit knowledge and you will bypass every blocker. But if it works for you, great. Then go for it.

    Maybe a last tip for now. Try things out. Don´t just read a story and fool yourself by thinking just because it worked for somebody it will surely work for anybody. I don´t wanna fuck somebody up but just go for it and try. But please don´t fall in a deep hole just because this one method didn´t work out for you. Get up and try again and again.

    So this is it for the first post. I will and I hope you will too post more things in the future. Guys let´s make this a great Thread for people searching for help and new ideas. Maybe a last thing. Why should you listen to me? I mean currently me streak isn´t really big. Nearly a week. And actually i would just take tips from experts because they know what works and what don´t but I failed so often that I can tell you some things so you don´t need to experience everything on your own. I am sure this is for what this forum stands. A clever guy learns from his own mistakes but a wise man knows he didn´t need to make every mistake on his own because he can learn from the mistakes of others. So let´s start to build a life worth living. Wish you a great day guys! @DerNeuMann @goodnice 2.0 help me to spread this thread and it would be great if you could take some time to write down your points.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2019
  2. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Some interesting aspects of handling the "wind of change".

    I have come back to Nofap after about a year and I remember what helped me most to overcome my urges: inspiring other guys here in the Forum, to encourage them and to give hope to those who need it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
  3. Theseeker19

    Theseeker19 Fapstronaut

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    Great Question, The only one thing that can really change your life and get rid of addiction is basically BELIEF, The moment you just decide that YES I CAN DO BETTER then things just start changing for the better.

    so here is my List of helpful tools to get over withdrawal symptoms and how to overcome urges:-

    1- Change the underlying belief and know that you have limitless power inside you that can change everything for the better, People around you made it have the same power as you the difference here is that they just believed and Used the precious power to change their entire life.

    2- Meditation is a must for people recovering from this epidemic as it really helps you handle things instantly and in the best possible way, I would recommend meditating for 10 to 15 minutes for beginners.

    3- Accept That these urges, emotions, and sensations are part of you that you can't just leave them behind or wipe them out of your mind, You have to respect them and sit with them and know what they want you to hear just sit with your emotions like a friend.

    4- Drink more water

    5- Keep yourself busy:- don't wake up in the morning unless you have a plan and a routine that you'll follow because waking up in the morning alone while doing nothing can be a
    Dangerous Trap

    6- Create your own routine with tasks that must be completed and finished. Connected with the 5th

    7- Journal:- it's very important to journal because as you are journaling you'll notice some vulnerabilities and mistakes you've committed which makes you able to find them easily and fix them without the need to fail again.

    8- quit social media

    9- Read or listen to an audiobook for 15 minutes a day or even 10 minutes. (Make it a habit).

    10- work on a passion project (things that you really love). Connected with the 5th tip

    11- Stay positive no matter what, don't spread negativity and don't say I'm not gonna make it. JUST STAY POSITIVE.

    GOOD LUCK EVERYONE.

     
  4. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    Thanks I really appreciate that.
     
  5. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    First of all thanks that you are a part of this Thread. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    I like meditation. Do you recommend just breathing as a form of meditation/ or just pure awareness or do you use some other methods?
    Do you have an example for this routine? Just to spread some more information here.
     
    stoneyman22 likes this.
  6. Theseeker19

    Theseeker19 Fapstronaut

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    just pure awareness meaning that you focus on Breath as it goes in and out here are some info that might help you in mindfulness meditation:-
    Mindfulness meditation

    a- Focus on your breath Inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 6 seconds (Don't strain, do them as best as you can ).

    b- Being aware of all that is within you and around you right now.


    The aim of mindfulness is not quieting the mind or attempting to achieve a state of eternal calm. The goal is simple: we’re aiming to pay attention to the present
    moment, without judgment. Easier said than done, we know.

    Feel your breath—or some say “follow” it—as it goes out and as it goes in. (Some versions of this practice put more emphasis on the outbreath, and for the inbreath you simply leave a spacious pause.) Either way, draw your attention to the physical sensation of breathing: the air moving through your nose or mouth,the rising and falling of your belly, or your chest. Choose your focal point, and with each breath, you can mentally note “breathing in” and “breathing out.”

    Practice pausing before making any physical adjustments, such as moving your body or scratching an itch. With intention, shift at a moment you choose, allowing space between what you experience and what you choose to do.

    You may find your mind wandering constantly—that’s normal, too. Instead of wrestling with or engaging with those thoughts as much, practice observing without needing to react. Just sit and pay attention. As hard as it is to maintain, that’s all there is. Come back over and over again without judgment or expectation.

    When you’re ready, gently lift your gaze (if your eyes are closed, open them). Take a moment and notice any sounds in the environment. Notice how your body feels right now. Notice your thoughts and emotions. Pausing for a moment, decide how you’d like to continue on with your day.

    This is a very simple routine that might help you and feel free to adjust it the way it suits you but remember to apply the main points and not ignore them

    First, you have to have some kind of important work to do or maybe a dream to chase or even a hobby that you really want to pick and learn.

    second, You have to wake up at a specific time and force yourself to wake up no matter what remembering that to have some important work to do.

    third, Go And clean yourself up then I highly suggest you meditate for 15 minutes or more if you want. IT'S THE SECRET

    fourth, Go and have a breakfast preferably a healthy breakfast.

    fifth (Optional but Amazing), Pick your headphone and go for a walk for 10 or 15 minutes while listening for a good podcast or Nice non-aggressive music.

    sixth, start your day :)

    The top secret here is to never touch your phone or use the internet in any way unless you go through your entire healthy routine.

    It's a really great thing and it's been effective and productive for me.

    GOOD LUCK
     
    Đinh Nam, glory.indeed and bermalux like this.
  7. Try to feel grateful that you feel withdrawal symptoms. Because it means you are making healing right.
    I sometimes increase my healing process when I feel those symptoms. I use less internet, I walk more, i do more so I feel worse. Sounds a little crazy but only that I know I am healing :)
     
  8. "Change your environment. This is really important and will support you because for your subconsciousness it will be a "new" room. You seperate yourself from your past and you need to do that to finally step forward. Never let the past drow you down. "
    Done, I throwed all shit I didnt need from my room,
    It is cleaner and more minimalistic.
    I plan slowly and slowly to become almost "zero digital". It will be my hardmode.
    NO nonsense searching web, watching youtube, using smartphone 3 hours a day, no social media, zero porn and zero masturbation by myself
     
    mgz069 and bermalux like this.
  9. Instead I want to engage in Learning things, reading books, exercising, having balanced diet and more..
     
    bermalux likes this.
  10. "Actually many people recommend installing porn blockers but I can just speak for myself this didn´t work well for me. Because i always found a way to bypass these blockers. You need just a little bit knowledge and you will bypass every blocker. But if it works for you, great. Then go for it. "
    When you are in a state when you cant trust yourself, use the hardest porn blocker you can install. It will be painfull but very beneficial.
    When you are in control, I will recommend what works for me. Dont use any porn blocker. Because you will constantly have in mind that you installed a blocker on your PC/Laptop/Phone.
    Feeling of breaking the rule will be arising arising and you might relapse.
    It is like when someone says to you "Dont think about pink elephant" You think about it.
    I recommend just forgeting you ever need to do it. Rethink for what you need your PC and do it only. Avoid lazy web searching, and dont believe the feeling of "Just one picture, nothing bad, I deserve that i have big streak, nothing bad will happen if I watch once " You will in short perio of time feel more eager to watch another picture, and another, and then a short video, just once, and then you realise you are in cycle again.
    I did that, trust me you might do the same.
     
    Dynamogyan likes this.
  11. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    Really great idea for a morning routine. Actually I have experienced similar things. You said that you need to do your routine without touching your phone or using the internet. That is great! I guess if you start a new morning routine you encounter your conditioned way of doing things. And I find that if I used my phone or the internet before let´s say reading that I have a much harder time afterwards to read. Actually it doesn´t work always because sometimes I need to check in to clarify something but still.
    So basically you tell us that you use your morning routine to charge up your mind for the day and even more important for your goals.
     
  12. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    Yeah interesting concept. So maybe you use placebo in the way that you think you are healing faster or you just be more aware of your healing because you step outside your comfort zone.
    Yeah it is true. I guess one possible key is to understand how to "live with your mind". If you understand how you can live with urges and triggers you will never really have a problem with porn again. I believe that is why so many Nofappers like meditation. It teaches you slowly to detache from your thoughts. This skill can be really useful in times of urges and withdrawal.
     
  13. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    So it is time to spread some ideas :D.
    I watched a video a long time ago( forgot the name) where the basic idea was that life is an adventure and that it would be fucking bad if you could choose everything.
    I believe that is a very interesting concept in terms of seeing life from a new perspective and also in Nofap terms.
    The point is this. Image that you would live in a dream. You could do anything so you would do anything. At first it would be so cool. You could fly and build things and basically do whatever you do. The world would always work in your favor because you create it and you have full control over it. But after a time it would be so damn boring. You would never be suprised, wouldn´t you? Every sunset would be less bright because you know you placed it there. Every woman would be less interesting because you know what she would say and do because it would be what you want. Every adventure wouldn´t be one because you never need to venture anything. Death would be meaningless because you can always trick it.
    After a while you would get depressed and hope that something unplanned would happen.
    And now I can welcome you in your life.
    That is basically what life is. You try to plan things and yeah sometimes your plans succeed but other times they don´t. And man we get so fucked up in this struggle. There was wind and we build a storm.
    Maybe we should take a moment and think about it. What if this unfamiliarity is what makes your life interesting. Don´t cry over and over because things didn´t work. You can always try again and again but most people aren´t willing to do that. So they start blaming life, blaming others, blame every fucking thing they need to blame on to decrease their pain.
    Or you just accpet that life has an adventures side and be happy with it. If you really want it you can always start over again. So actually life doesn´t fuck you up. It is always yourself.
    Wish you a great day guys!
     
    bermalux likes this.
  14. newStart2105

    newStart2105 Fapstronaut

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    8th looks serious!
     
  15. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    Realise that there is a difference between urges for porn and urges to have sex.
    That is another key.
    Are you triggered and want to watch porn or do you want to have sex? There is a fundamental difference. The urge to watch porn is basically reminders that you would normally watch porn now.
    But the urge to have sex is just your sex drive. On Nofap your sex drive can sometimes shoot through the roof. Maybe this is standard? Definetly it will be the new standard. That is a great way to messure your progress. It is not really the money you made or the gains you got. It is about the standard you set for yourself and your life.

    We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotele

    I want to combine this this knowledge which something I found really helpful on my journey.
    You know this success stories where people tell you they stopped objectifying women? Yeah this will be key here. The idea is simple.

    Why wait for it to happen when you can make it happen?

    Let´s say you walk on the street and a woman walks in front of you. Don´t look at her ass. Just don´t do it. At first you will because it is for sure a habit but practice this. I tell you it will help a lot.
    This has two benefits.
    1) You create the benefit itself by just doing it. Over time you will stop objectify women in general.
    2) It helps you to be less triggered. This is very interessting because in the past I never found this triggering. At least not consciously.

    I wish you a great day guys!
     
    bermalux likes this.
  16. bermalux

    bermalux Fapstronaut

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    A lot of good stuff collected here.

    In my journey i tried a lot of the points and all I can say is my own experience.
    At the beginning i found it very helpful to do the "NoA-method". It´s like strict avoiding of sexual content, objectifying women, imagination of naked body or whatever.
    When I saw a women on TV and it was kind of sexy, i closed my eyes, changed the channel or even left the room.
    As i´ve done that after few weeks, i noticed a big power. A power over myself to decide what I wanna allow to conquer my mind or not.

    A step further came, when I´ve done the thing of: just sitting, feeling and letting it go...
    So I realized what was going on in my head, the thoughts, the own inner dialogue.
    I hear it loudly everytime when I´m under the shower and one voice says: no! no cold water today cmon!
    And the other voice says: Ha! what are you? Are you a warrior or a worrier?

    I highly recommend Dr. Joe Dispenza (I love the documentation "Heal"), Tony Robbins and read some books.
    I read some stuff like
    • power of now
    • think and grow rich
    • brain on porn
    • how to win friends
    • power of habit
    • Outliers: the story of success
    • meditation within eternity
    • mantak chia
    • prometheus rising - r.a.wilson
    • the rational male
    • gurdjieff
    • siddhartha
    • ph.d. kevin b skinner - treating pornography
    • 4 hour week
    • you are a badass
    • sadhguru
    • marie kondo
    • Demian - Hesse
    • Vishen Lakhiani
    • Dr. Julian Hosp

    A lot of these books have kind of "homework" and as I rly done the things, wrote down and do the exercises, my mind got new stuff to think and work with.
    We are the result of what we feed our mind.

    I can not add new stuff to the list of the others, bc I haven´t done anything special next to what has already been mentioned.
    But I can say one thing I´ve learned by watching other guys relapsing all the time:
    No one is going to do it for me.

    Nobody can walk the mile for me, do my cold shower, go to my gym, feel my emotions, meditate, do my work or work on my mindset, do mindwork for understanding this addiction in my own head, fulfill my dreams, breathe my air...

    It is only my responsibility.
    I had the power to maneuvere myself into it.
    I have the power to kick my ass out of it.
    Excuses will always be there, opportunity won´t.

    It´s no luck, it´s work.
    And work always pays off.
     
  17. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    Great post! Thanks for sharing your journey. I feel it. This Thread will one day help somebody. No matter if it is 1000 people or one. If it is just one we did a great Job here!
     
    recon117 likes this.
  18. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    So this should be an addition to what I wrote yesterday.

    There are 3 things which manly cause a relapse.

    1) Flatline.

    I personally have no problem relapsing in that period but other guys have so I took it into the list. Your libido is low but you can be really moody and so on so some people might think that if they relapse it will go away. Note: Bad idea. You will start over and face it another time. It is a part of the process so chill.

    Now this is really important. I seperated the term"urges" into two parts.

    2) Sex urges /sex drive.

    This is your libido. Sometimes it feels like your sex drive is on steroids but this can be pretty cool. You feel like a true man/ or a true woman ( I guess?). Basically it is natural and I personally love it.
    How do you recognize the sex drive? It is simple. If you start fantasizing about sex (No porn involved!) then it is your sex drive!
    Great news, this type of urge will never go away!

    3) Porn urges/ Cravings.
    This is the worst of all. They are much stronger than your sex drive (at least at the beginning). This is the part where you need prevention. It is logical that you need prevention here because at the beginning they are so intense. This is because they are the counterpart to the sex urges. It is the supranormal stimuli (supernormal stimuli) of sex urges.


    How do you recognize it? You simply start thinking about using porn.

    Good news. They will weaken or time and finally vanish.

    I wish you a great day guys!
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  19. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    Just a little input.

    Dopamin is often referred as the "satisfaction hormone" but indeed it is more like the "satisfaction is just around the corner hormone".
    This makes a huge difference because Dopamin will keep you going. And if you catch yourself sitting hours in front of your PC you now understand why. Because the Dopamin always tells you it is just around the corner. You didn´t want to stop.
     
    AspiringVitality and bermalux like this.
  20. glory.indeed

    glory.indeed Fapstronaut

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    Unexpected things happen.

    This is a kind of crazy comment but I bet some of you will know what I am talking about.
    In some past streaks I had some bizarre thing happen to me. I would go one week or two or maybe more and I would often be confronted with some kind of porn. Same happened on this streak.
    I will give an example.
    It is actually not really about you. You may walk down the street and look at a phone or so and see sb watches porn.
    Or in my case I got a job and there was a workshop where I worked for a time and some day I saw that there was a "porn calendar" on the wall.
    It got hilarious as I walked down the court and looked in some little room. There was another calendar.

    First I was fucked up. I was like "Nooo. Why did this happen? My streak is over!" I knew it wasn´t but my mind began to chatter. Then I realised similar things happened in the past. And then I remembered sb once said (on Nofap) that he felt like life tested him because he got nudes from sb. And guys it really feels like it. Idk why this happends so often around let´s say 1-4 weeks (at least for me) but it does indeed.

    Then I had the realization that it will happen no matter what. Maybe after 100 days, maybe after 2, maybe after 14... This is what people mean by saying "Nofap is a lifistyle". It is truly. I mean yeah you can be the cool guy that doesn´t nut for a month because it is a cool challenge ya know. But you can also create a new life.
    After I realized this I am much more calmer.

    Wish you a great day guys!
     

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