So I'm having a weird reaction lately and I'm not entirely sure how to put into words so I'm just going to stream-of-consciousness it and see what happens. I woke up at around 2 am last night hating myself. Basically I feel intellectually impotent and angry that all the potential I have is squandered by this and the wait time required for a reboot. These feelings lead me to write this and wonder if I'm on the right path. By right path I mean this: I haven't watched porn in at least a month now. But every 5-6 days I MO to thoughts in my head and once a week for the past 2 weeks I've been sexually active with an old ex-girlfriend. Here's my question: Am I still healing with these behaviors? Do I just need to chill out in my head and let things happen as they do or do I need buckle down and just not MO period? I'm inclined to believe that I'm still healing even though I MO once in awhile, but I want some other opinions.