A new beginning...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by ranmasen, Jul 8, 2020.

  1. ranmasen

    ranmasen Fapstronaut

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    Hello everybody,

    I'm new to this forum.

    I'm 34 years old and i'm trying to overcome my porn/masturbation addiction.
    I've never realized that this was a problem until recently.

    I've started noticing that i can't have normal conversations with women in general without objectifying them as sexual machines. Then i wondered what caused this and i think it might be my porn addiction that I've developed the last 20 years. I've been masturbating daily since i was 16 y/o. But, i thought that i did not hurt anyone with this, so it didn't matter much.

    But now I've come to realize that i am hurting myself with it.

    I've always had low self-esteem when i was young, thought that i was ugly so that no woman would ever want me. I think that's the reason i got into watching porn.

    I've been trying to stop for a month now, and the max. number of consecutive days without masturbating is 6.

    I've installed a VPN blocker on my phone, so that i cannot surf to porn sites on my mobile, because that was my most used resource to watch it. But when the urge is high, i just uninstall it.

    It happens mostly when i'm tired, without any reason i just surf to porn-sites and start masturbating. even at work.

    To be honest, i feel like shit when i do it, and it's not very good for my mental health and self-esteem.

    I'm looking here for people who know what this is, because i'm too introvert to talk about it with somebody. I feel very ashamed about this.

    I hope that there are people here who i can relate to

    Kind Regards,

    Ranmasen
     
    Breakthrough23 and battleready like this.
  2. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    I've had a lot of the same feelings, shame, depression, etc. This is my first go with no PM its been 56 days and I'm amazed at how well I feel emotionally. What has worked for me is staying busy, finding new hobbies, it wears on me as well, staying so busy. I'm 43 and have been struggling for years as to why I feel the way I do, and I watched some videos about NoFap and realized all the effects were me, so why not try. I didn't want to wake up, do anything, just felt no motivation for anything. I felt change within less than a week and I don't plan on looking back. Yes I have struggles, miss the PM and for some sick reason, but I'm just looking at the positives I've gained. Good luck, your life will change, if YOU want it to.
     
  3. MarioVargas

    MarioVargas Fapstronaut

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    Welcome friend!!

    You have taken an important step in your life by coming to NOFAP, here you will find tons of information, experiences, and wisdom.

    Give yourself the time to browse each thread, each challenge, other people's diaries, here you will identify yourself with many of the stories you will read.

    I wish you the best of luck, you deserve to shine and you deserve to be happy, love yourself and fight for what you dream of, you are a warrior my friend and here you will show us what wood you are made of.

    Fight!! Good luck!
     
    Breakthrough23 likes this.
  4. One Eyed Owl

    One Eyed Owl Fapstronaut

  5. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    It is good that you are here. I have found that when that mindless urge to go to a P site appears I go to this site instead and read about others problems and how they are getting through them. And we find that many of our bad habits are done by many people here so we are not alone. I'm learning to see the triggers and the patterns that lead my mind down a bad path. Try to find that awareness for yourself. You can do it.
     
  6. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    So how are you doing on this journey, has it been getting easier? I'm on day 67 and honestly I've been struggling alot, once I have sex with my wife the feeling subside, but after 3-4 days I feel like pm again, wondering eyes while in public and thinking about giving up this fight. I have had some awesome feelings, but also some pretty low feelings as well.
     
  7. ranmasen

    ranmasen Fapstronaut

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    Hey, man. I've relapsed today. It was already hard yesterday, but i could not resist today. I've reset my counter, and going to try again.
    There was no direct reason for relapsing but i could not resist it, deleted cleanbrowsing from my phone and off i was.

    And the weird thing is, you know when you're doing it that you are going to regret it, but it can't stop you.

    Wauw, 67 days, that's wonderful. I can understand the struggling, i never get past 6-7 days. It's the same here. When i have sex with my wife, my needs are fulfilled for a couple of days. But after about the same period, it get's harder every day. Summer also not the best season for not looking at women ;-). But on the other hand, there's also a lot to look at in the winter.

    Man, i've quit smoking, weed, but this is harder than anything else. Any tips on how you survive the urges that come?

    Kind regards
     
  8. Hi ransem. You're doing great so far dude. It's okay to relapse. Remember this isnt a goal to get to a certain amount of days. It's a journey of breaking down and taming your lust and impulses. Try to learn from each relapse and see what you can do better the next time around. Sometimes you just have to ride through the wave of urges. Over time it will get easier. All the best my dude
     
  9. 72jbjekapm

    72jbjekapm Fapstronaut

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    Yes I quit smoking weed almost exactly 16 years ago, I struggled with that for a year, and I miss it so much, we had some times :). I guess if I could say anything that helps me, I'd say look at the difficulty I had looking at myself in the mirror after I was done. Felt guilt, shame, depression, but I guess I'm in denial now, because I don't know if I'm going to continue much longer with no PM, me and wife work opposite shifts and she doesn't have the energy and is too vanilla for my needs.. she wants to get crazy with me, but she is always tired and does not have the same sexual interest as me, but will do whatever I'd like. It would be more enjoyable if she had her own things we could share in bed, but she was never into anything personally. I honestly have never felt this good, been a couple rough days, but that's normal. I've been getting back into my guitar playing, which does bring me lots of joy and I remember when i played before, I'd get interuppted, by wanting to rub one out a couple times, so my practice was not as focused as it should have been. I'll see how this works out, hopefully I can quit being a closet guitar player, hell I've played for almost 20 years and can't play in front of my own wife. A lot of that has to do with our difference in music taste. She likes dance, pop, I'm a metal head.
     

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