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A new outlook

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Mattt, Aug 20, 2017.

  1. Mattt

    Mattt Fapstronaut

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    Greetings fellow fapstronauts
    So after using this site and it's threads so often to help me out this past month I've decided to finally join the community.
    I'm not a new comer to abstaining from PMO, from 2014-2016 (age 14 to 16) I quit P after hearing so constantly the effects it can have later on in life and disliking the way it altered my outlook on the opposite sex (made me see them more as sexual attractions than people) though I still masturbated periodically. Sometimes I made rules only to masturbate every second day, sometimes only every third etc.
    Starting 2015, after hearing about the "NoFap challenge" on social media I decided to give it a go and abstain from masturbation for an entire month. I made it through that August with great difficulty (and a few wet dreams), the only thing keeping me going being my "logic" that if I could survive 30 days I was not addicted but if I relapsed I was truly addicted and had reason to be concerned. So another year went by and when August of 2016 came around I decided to give it a go again. On around the 26th or 28th day I relapsed; I was in a semi-conscious dream state but still fealt like I had cheated so as punishment I decided I had to redo it the following month and, thanks to sheer determination, I made it through September.
    Sadly towards the end of last year I began watching P again. It started with masturbating to sexually arousing pictures on social media, like girls in their bikinis or tight pants (again my mind used "logic" and I convinced myself it was ok as they were not fully naked) though as I'm sure many of you know if you give a little slack the whole rope comes undone and within 1-2 months I was watching P.
    I would tell myself that if I only did it in weekend's, going from Monday to Friday with no P or masturbation, it was surely ok to watch P and masturbate once or twice during the weekend. Yet when holidays came it was a daily occurrence and long weekends were no different, gladly though it never did develop into watching P and masturbating every day and I was able to keep it to weekend's.
    My main reasons for masturbating (besides obviously feeling aroused) are often simply to alleviate boredom or help me fall asleep but I have realised after reading a few threads here that I also use it as an easier method when given the options of either being confident and trying to actually go out and chat to new people or masturbating and telling myself I don't need to try get with anybody.
    So currently, if you havent already realised, I am in the middle of my yearly abstainance, as it is August, and for the first time I noticed an increase in confidence. It may just be a placebo affect but I am definitely more confident, I have gotten with people in the past when it has been easy, when they have made most of the effort and made the first move but now my sexual drive is stronger I am going up to strangers and chatting them up, I am the first to lean in and not petrified at the thought of rejection.
    Anyways I have been reading a few threads and my whole outlook on masturbation has changed. Many of you here believe that masturbation (when imagining sexual scenes) is as bad as masturbating with P, as you are still using imagery to achieve an O, and I agree. I am going to try the 60 day challenge and see if my urge to masturbate wears off. 90 days is a bit of a long shot but I'll let you all know once I reach 60, I am currently on 20 and look forward to what is ahead.
    If your are still reading this thanks for the interest you've shown, I've never spoken so openly about this and look forward to sharing my journey with this community.
     
    jabberwocky96 and Shivam Yadav like this.
  2. Shivam Yadav

    Shivam Yadav Fapstronaut

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    This is my first day to take up the nofap challenge and idk that I am gonna stay up for even seven days but I m give my best shot like people like you with huge determination.
     
    Mattt likes this.
  3. Mattt

    Mattt Fapstronaut

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    Shivam I find it's best to think about how you would be letting yourself down. You have to go into this with a positive mindset, I believe that you can do it and want to hear about your progress so now you can't let me down either! I wish you the best of luck.
     
  4. Shivam Yadav

    Shivam Yadav Fapstronaut

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    Yeah sure matt! Thanks for the encouragement.
     
    Mattt likes this.
  5. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome back to NoFap where you are still amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  6. Mattt

    Mattt Fapstronaut

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    Just the thought of how a few minutes of of pleasure can mess up months of hard work and satisfaction keeps me going.
     
    Shivam Yadav likes this.
  7. Shivam Yadav

    Shivam Yadav Fapstronaut

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    Well said Matt
     
    Mattt likes this.
  8. Mattt

    Mattt Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Shivam, how's today been?
     
  9. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

  10. Shivam Yadav

    Shivam Yadav Fapstronaut

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    I did it on Wednesday night out of frustration. I lost my football match.
     
  11. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Looking back, what could you have done differently which could have led to a different outcome?
     
    Shivam Yadav likes this.
  12. Shivam Yadav

    Shivam Yadav Fapstronaut

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    Maybe slept well and go for the workout nxt morning but that temptation is so hard to control that I my brain can never win over it.
     
  13. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    But it can win over the temptations, when you begin to believe you can and stay consistent at fighting it.
     

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