1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

A new sense of motivation

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by anony mous, Nov 28, 2015.

  1. anony mous

    anony mous Fapstronaut

    77
    71
    18
    I know this is a rant, but in my head it was so organized. turns out its not.

    first some background info. Im a college student. the college i attend is the most expensive in the city. My parents live in a foreign country to provide enough money. And in that foreign country, my dad lives in a different city than my mom just because he has more financial stability there.
    And here i am trying to quit porn but thats not what this post is about.
    Today i was in a formal event related to a club in university. the event is held in a hall, its the typical round talbe looking on a stage where speeches are made and there is a band playing some music. Now its after food time, everoyne is having fun. I was sitting there, trying to sweet talk some girl and make her like me, only thing in the back of my head was a hook up and how i can initaite it. Now this room is filled with well, lets say successful people. Most are good looking, all are rich. im just sitting there and its such a awkward good feeling to be around people to have the social awkwardness and i realize i need to go out more often. and i also realize i always say that to myself that ill be more outgoing more spontaneous but never get to it im always busy. but these guys they're mostly naturals now there are the few who are like me, but the spotlight is, understandibly, not on them. I had so many thoughts about the event and couldnt wait to get back home to write all about it but i cant put it in words.

    Anyways, on my way home before getting into the car. I meet a fellow club member. He mentors school juniors and he talks about how he feels he makes a change and how its such a rewarding feeling. And im sitting there thinking, well that never happened to me. I always do things because 'meh' because 'responsibilites' because ' it feels good' currently my life is revolved around studying, a game, and gyming.studying is because 'meh' gym and the game is wasting time. And here is this guy so passionate about what hes doing. i do have passions, and things i want to do. Theyre mostly socially related and girl orientated but meh theyre still passions.

    Now if quitting porn is what it takes to fuel and act on such passions then i must quit. I mean thinking about my mom she literally lives for me and my brothers, she tells us " if you guys also end up being bad i will have no hope left in the world" and she is so religious if she find out i watch porn it wont break her heart itll break her soul.

    i mean thinking about it here i am trying to balance studying, gymming, socialzing, and improving my self ingeneral. While in some days i spend hours horny and looking for a video of an abusive hired man to abuse a desperate hired girl while i waste my time, my energy, my imagination basically myself watching. And the cure is so simple:stop watching.

    And thing is when im off porn and porn subs i just feel so good. Like i notice girls, like for example today i was really interested in this girl and the way she looked and usually i wouldnt even care. Like girls would come onto me and i wouldnt care and its simply due to having so much sexual release. And coming back to that girl im talking about, when she sent the pictures on the whatsapp group she looked so plain, normal and even boring which just shows that for some pixels to grab so much attention they have to be so unreal and pollished.

    I need to stop porn and i wont even say for my mom who lived for us, or for my dad who is too old to work but works for us. But for me, because im the product of these two because i am great. Because its simple time and effort is finite. spending them on porn takes them away from other areas and i cant affoard that. Noone can.
     
    TakingTheSteps likes this.

Share This Page