A New Start

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by revitalize, Dec 4, 2019 at 6:35 AM.

  1. revitalize

    revitalize Fapstronaut

    I am 16 and have been masturbating almost daily since about 7 years old. I remember the first few times I did it I thought I had a power I thought it was something that I discovered myself and no one else could do. I have very poor memory of my past which could be due to frequent masturbation from the little research I have done so far or it could be from smoking weed so often in recent months. I think I started watching porn around 10 years old but I'm not completely sure. 6 years later it has ruined my life.

    I joined this site 7 days ago for the wrong reasons I do not want want to go in to detail though. I haven't posted yet and have just been using the day counter. I started a streak the day I joined and failed 2 days ago so a 5 day streak. The next day I did not masturbate but this morning 5 hours ago I did again. I have realised that this addiction has made me a horrible person. I left school a year ago which I am only just realising was a horrible decision like most decisions I have made. I blamed my mum for this but really she was the one who realised I was not completing work in school and she is the one who realised the best thing to do was take me out of school for home schooling. I worked hard at home school for a few weeks at most but it slowly trailed off and I just stopped working full stop.

    I've been horrible to my family and not a good friend to any friends I did once have. I no longer have any friends full stop and I am incredibly lonely but it is entirely my fault. This morning I just stared at the family photos in my living room crying realising that I was a good kid realising my family was once happy and I am probably the reason they are less happy nowadays. My family are the only people who have cared about me and they truly do care but I have been too stupid to realise it.

    I believe my life is over because of the type of porn I watched and viewed and I want to start the process of changing before what is going to happen happens. I want a new start and a new life. I'm going to make many changes including nofap and try to live a whole new lifestyle and it starts today. I'm going to be nicer to my family as much as I possibly can be and try rebuild with them. I'm going to hit the gym, watch motivational content and family content only and no films or TV shows with negative themes as I believe that has always had an impact on me. I will try working on my anger problem which this should hopefully help with as I get angry very easily. Today is the day for a new start.
     
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! I'm glad you're here. But your life is not "over"; thank God you've been given a chance to turn around! I hope you keep coming back.
     
  3. revitalize

    revitalize Fapstronaut

    Thank you I appreciate the reply. I am not religious but recently I've been thinking about religion actually and I admire how religious people are and the discipline that you have and I've realised that's what I need to be more like. I was reading some of your posts from the link in your bio and I think they will be helpful I relate to some of it and haven't even read that much yet and I'm going to start implementing some of it in the morning so thank you. Hope everything goes well for you and you continue to succeed with this.
     
    Septimus likes this.

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