Hello everybody. I'll start with a prelude: I am a good-looking guy and have a few other things going for me. No, I'm not trying to be narcissistic, this is important within the context of my story. I have always thought that I should be aiming higher when it comes to girls (I do get "laid" every once in a while, but they're never/very rarely 8s or 9s). Please don't cringe yet. I have also been using Tinder for a while, with a low to moderate success rate. But seeing profiles of hot girls on the app and not getting a response from them really messes with my head. Apart from that, if you live in a big city (as I currently do) you are surrounded by images of extremely attractive women. That is something that I find very frustrating. Everywhere you go there are sexual stimuli and the privacy of your own home does not save you (especially if you are using dating apps). Now, I've been on NoFap successfully for about a month (it will be thirty days this Tuesday if I am correct). And I do have an outlet for all of my energy: I am a competitive athlete + a masters student. Yet I still manage to behave like an idiot and potentially engage in risky sexual behaviors. I'll elaborate: like all of us, at times I struggle to keep the thoughts about sex away and since my libido is through the roof (as you would expect from a 21 y.o.) I have potentially contemplated having sex with a transwoman/man. It is quick and easy. No, I am not attracted to men, yet I think that watching porn for years might have made my fantasies more extreme and unhealthy (from a heterosexual's perspective). This type of sex requires way less effort than getting a girl - a quick hook up is just several sentences and several pictures away. So I have been installing Grindr, searching for potential partners, sending over my photos (which is the dumbest thing imaginable if you value your reputation) and then deleting the app without meeting anyone. By the time that my trip to the land of sodomy would end, I'd gaze at the watch to find out that I have irredeemably lost an hour or more of my life. And in the same manner, I have spent this very evening. Like I've mentioned above, I did not watch porn, neither did I masturbate, nor had an orgasm. But every time such a thing would happen (installing Grindr and looking for fast sex with any creature that resembles a human, then shamefully deleting the app) I would feel a sense of defeat. I guess there're just plenty of other addictions and relapses that I will have to overcome, not just the ones that NoFap is concerned with. There's no point to this mini-essay but to share my thoughts and feelings this ugly night. And much appreciation to anyone who gives it time, reads it and maybe even responds to it. Thanks.