A pain a lot worse than porn

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Marakena, Feb 20, 2017.

  1. Marakena

    Marakena Fapstronaut

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    Right now, I am sitting in front of my computer screen fucking crushed. And no, I didn't masturbated, or watched porn.

    I fucking broke my principle.

    I am in a situation where I can't work to get money, have to go to school and in no means can move away from my parent's house because I'm 17 and I don't have nowhere to go. Today, while I was going through the David DeAngelo's program "On being a man" I realized that, even I am still 17, I am a big, fucking mamma's boy who is still thinking and behaving like an immature child.

    While I was growing up, my father was always working and in critical years for my developing into a man he wasn't there. I do not have a clue how real, mature, masculine man looks like, how he acts, how he thinks. In fact, what I lack the most is just the presence of a real man. Even now, I still crave that, I need that role model, the older man, the mentor who would help me to develop myself to a real, mature man.

    I set a task for myself not to eat for 36 hours in order to clean my body of toxins and fluid so I can be healthier and more energetic (google it). My mother forced me to eat and said "Eat, I do not want to fight!". It seems apsurd that she has such a power over me. But I can't stand up and force it, I am fucking to weak to confront her now, and that will remain the same for year and a half, when I finally will go to colleague and move out. That 36 hour thing was so important to me, and yet I broke that...

    My mother was raising me and my sister, I honestly cannot say alone, but much of the time it was just her who took care of two of us. A woman cannot teach a young boy how to be a man. She can only do her best and with the best intention she will make of you a small, tiny, shy nice guy who is a wussy in it's essence. This is what I really am, and this is one of the most difficult pills to swallow...

    I think that one of the biggest root causes of our porn and masturbating addiction is this. We really do not know what to do, how to act, we do not know when we are officially grown up, so we still behave like children and use porn/fapping/drugs/alcohol/ciggarets/ you name it, to cover up and to fill the void inside us caused by lack of real, MAN ENERGY that our fathers should provide to us.

    We are boys, and a boy must dye if we want to grow up.

    I almost cried in my bathroom after this. I cannot do anything, I am to weak to confront, got nowhere to hide nor to go, doesn't have a private space to work this things (my computer is crappy and I can't even watch videos or do something to help myself until I finally get a lap top).

    There is no bigger pain than life of impotence and incapability to do something with your own life. Life without integrity is not a life, it's a hell.

    My streak of 64 days is nothing If I do not learn to life my life by mo own values and principles. I find this the ultimate solution to this nofap thing. Regaining your ability to control your life and life a life of a mature, intelligent and fulfilled man!

    I beg you, never, ever, ever, break your principles and values, for anyone and anything! I just sensed that, and the filling is the worst possible.

    Mature, become a man, not a boy, and you will successfully reboot and make your life better.

    Thank you for reading, and sorry if this post is supposed to be in some other forum section.
     
    SlapTheFap and PlasticBoy like this.
  2. PlasticBoy

    PlasticBoy Fapstronaut

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    I can totally agree with that, but ive actually never meet my father. But its same thing, i think :(
     
  3. Marakena

    Marakena Fapstronaut

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    I share the pain, and I feel sorry and compassion to you. Stay strong and search for mature men. (James Dean for example, he got some videos on yt)
     
  4. zeusnotfapping

    zeusnotfapping Fapstronaut

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    You should not fast for 36 hours straight!! You could do it for 18-20 hours and that does all the cleaning. After that your body needs some food to maintain itself. Fasting is not bad but to do it for 36 hours looks like overdoing it. You will lose your muscles, because if the body does not find any resources, it starts to use your important resources like your muscles. Many of your bodily systems shut down. In my opinion, you should redo your research. Also search for this key word on youtube:

    Ketosis

    I don't know much about being a REAL MAN but I can agree on you on one thing, one of the things to becoming a man is to take control of your life and take some real responsibilities.
     
  5. Marakena

    Marakena Fapstronaut

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    I am a bit overweight, so I burn fats first, structural proteins are burned last. in fact, I noticed muscle gains since I started this fasting things. bdw, I do about 24 hours, like i stop eating at sunday at 9 am, and do not eat untill monday 9am, but I do not eat at night so I eat at tuestay morning
     
  6. A fast for that long isn't necessary - it's what you choose to eat that damages rather than food as a whole. Cut gluten dairy sugar and animal products and your body will forever thank you.

    Sorry to make such a random comment; I understand that wasn't what you were getting at.
     
    spinelli05 and Marakena like this.
  7. Solidium

    Solidium Fapstronaut

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    If you can't learn it from your father, learn it from your mother, as their alway a man inside a woman.
    Let's say you can't go again her all at once, try it bit by bit.
     
  8. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    A major factor that determines a person's psychological liberation, and thus their inner power, is the realisation that other people do not ultimately have power over them, but in fact we each are responsibly for our own choices and decisions. After reading your post it seems you believe that your mother has a high level of power over you. Does she really have any power over you, or is this just a creation of your own mind?

    In order to escape the false perception that something has power over you, you must first stop giving it power. You give something power by worrying about it, by beating yourself up about it, blaming yourself, etc. All of these negative feelings destroy your self worth and transfer your energy to the external thing, which you continue to believe has power over you, thus keeping you in the prison.

    The way to escape is to not beat yourself up in any way, but to simply affirm that you are the one who ultimately makes all of your decisions, and you have the power at this very moment to change your mind about anything in your life. This good feeling of knowing that you are in control will continue to elevate your feelings of self worth every day, and you will naturally move to a place of physical and psychological freedom.
     
    Marakena likes this.
  9. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

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    A womans idea of man is from a disney romance. Its just their idea.

    You are right, a woman can never teach a son how to be a man, I'm familiar with this because I have seen how protective single mothers are of their sons. They never let them go out in the real world and push themselves.
     
  10. Solidium

    Solidium Fapstronaut

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    Hey, just wonder: what will your mother do if you keep fasting ? Will she run upstair and beat you till you eat ?
    If there's nothing bad that really happen, than it's all in your mind. Just remember this 1 word miracle mantra: No
    "No" - I don't like it
    "No" - I will do it
    "No" - If it's not enough, than "NOOOOOOOOOOOO"
    Just say no for the sake of it.
     

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