A peak turns into a binge and ...

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Knight81, Oct 21, 2020.

  1. Knight81

    Knight81 Fapstronaut

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    A peak at softcore turns into a binge and then before you know it, you are back to fapping to hardcore and gross fetish that leaves you feeling upset and nasty after the deed is done.
    This is what happened to me a couple days ago. I'm back to square one.
    Be careful bros! Don't take a little peak thinking you are going to keep it under control.
    I guess the strange sexual behavior ive been experiencing before the binge was a new fetish that was developed from nofap(the darkside of nofap) was being into below average and unattractive women. I was getting a bit desperate with anything lol
    I started peeking at that type of fetish P and over a couple days It evolved to gay stuff. It's the taboo of not naturally being into guys or ugly women that made it more appealing and humiliating.
    Has anyone else here have this same problem?
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2020
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  2. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

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    Same :(
     
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  3. Knight81

    Knight81 Fapstronaut

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    It sucks! I'm trying a new approach this time now that I know P is the base issue in my life.
    When my sex drive is making me desperate again, and since i have no girlfriend, I'm going to MO without P if i really have to. I dont see anything wrong with it if i do it once in a week or two. Ill see how it goes. Lol
     
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  4. WooshyBooshy

    WooshyBooshy Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps you should try watching the exact same thing, but without masturbation and orgasm. It allows you to test your willpower first of all and it allows your brain to actually think about what you have just watched, because you still have the post-nut clearity in your brain. That might help you to turn away from weird stuff you are watching in the long run. You are only watching that weird stuff for the reward(orgasm).
     
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  5. Peaceful magic 21

    Peaceful magic 21 Fapstronaut

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    Personally this has worked better for me. Although I’ve had 2 stints of 50 odd days and loads of 1 monthers hard mode. Where I have seen improvements. I found that the build up would make the slightest thing stimulating and I felt if I was going to come off the wagon I was going to do like a maniac. With all the hyped up sexual energy I’d held back which I read becomes addictive in itself. This fitted in with the trans porn/escorts which were intense and a punishment for f¥<king up my stint. This led to more self loathing and depression and would turn into a binge. I might as well I’m on day 1 again and a failure. Oh look there’s a video telling me I’m a f#*k up while playing me clips of shemales! It’s soul destroying all of that. Self compassion and working towards values/goals has really helped it all seem less appealing. I’ve had massive withdrawals at times but have managed to ride them out. :)
     
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  6. Knight81

    Knight81 Fapstronaut

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    I see your point but I'm not going to look anything of it lol. Just the thought of it disgusts me, even when I fapped to it.
     
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  7. This has happened to me numerous times and it is frustratingly miserable the feeling after. Back at point 0. The last time it happened, last month, i was on a couple days streak i think and when i finally acted out again i binged hardcore. I started looking at escort pages and that eventually led me to look at ts escort pages and i actually went and seen one and it was one of if not the worst mistake in my entire life and im still regretting and feel the shame and humiliation at this moment typing this. I gotta long drawn out essay that basically depicts my whole “process “ with this i posted if anyone here would like to read. I hope it resonates with at least 1 person on here and helps them not go down this crazy downward spiral of guilt, shame, and inadequacy that comes with this filth. Your stronger than that urge to take a peak and fall right back in the pit. Just dont do it. You have control over your actions. You can control the rewiring in your brain. Dont let yourself down anymore. Im 19 and feel my life has been broken because of this, stop now before you actually act out a fantasy you seen in porn and regret it for the rest of your life, its just not worth it.
     
  8. Knight81

    Knight81 Fapstronaut

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    I know that feeling and have done something very similar in the past. But whats done is done and you are working on the path of redeeming past actions. Time will pass and you'll feel better and stronger if you continue doing the right thing man. You'll never forget what ya did but it will remind you how far you moved away from it. Atleast you know its disgusting and the porn is as well.
    You can do it brother! We are all in this fighting together. You aren't alone
     
  9. I think about redeeming myself a lot but i just dont feel like theres any real chance of me attaining that. I feel like its to late for me. I lack the qualities to progress idk. But redemption or not ima continue to try doing the best i can do everyday and try to make those mishaps not be such a blemish on my existence and own me. Its a work in progress
     
  10. Knight81

    Knight81 Fapstronaut

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    You'll be feeling down on it for a bit but that's part of the lesson. You now know how terrible you feel now and use that to keep yourself on the path. Trust me, Its an uphill battle but you will get there. You already won by trying to work on it
     

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