I have been debating whether to make this thread or not as Second Life (SL) is such a harmful place for P addicts and I don't want to give anyone ideas of joining it. Disclaimer: DON'T FUCKING JOIN SECOND LIFE
My experience:
SL was really the catalyst for turning my P habit into a full blown addiction. It lets you play out your fantasies with other human beings completely anonymously and with zero consequence as you're acting through a virtual avatar.
For me, it started quite tame. I made an account just to see what it was all about, with designs to study and write a piece about it. Of course, I got sucked in immediately. I can't speak to what it used to be like in its heyday, but I can say for certain that now almost the entire platform is based around virtual sex and roleplay. I suppose this is because it's the ultimate consequence free environment to live out perverse fantasies that you would never have the chance to do in real life.
I entered SL with some kinks and a predominantly 'dominant' sexuality. I left as a confused, scarred and addicted submissive with unhealthy and unrealistic obsessions.
It's bizarre. Like most men I've had the thought of 'what if I was a girl, like the ones in porn?' which I believe to be pretty natural. Many women I've spoken to have had the same thoughts about gender swapping and as a horny teenager these thoughts were rare but existent. I can say for certain that I'm most comfortable as a straight man - men simply don't arouse me - but those occasional teenage fantasies were allowed to flourish in SL where you can literally play as a woman and barely anyone questions it. Despite having both a male and female avatar, I found that slowly I would only play as the female one, with my tastes getting more and more extreme. What’s even stranger is that this 'lie' about ones real life gender is completely accepted in SL, as most of the women you see are probably men behind the screen, and everyone knows it.
So I started slow but the investment became both emotional and financial rather quickly. To have an avatar that anyone will even chat with, you have to spend a large amount of money making them look good. I don't even want to know how much RL cash I've wasted on virtual items over the years but it was a lot. Once you look good, you go out and find what you want in this fake world. I met hundreds of people, some were nice, others deeply disturbed. Some I submitted to, others I made submit. I feel sick thinking about it, but those relationships have such a strong hold on me even today.
Still sound harmless? At my peak I was on SL for 4-6 hours a day, sometimes much more if I wasn’t working. This time was spent mentally and physically 'edging' and either waiting for someone particular to come online or finding someone new to 'play' my fantasies with. I would very rarely get off from SL alone, so at a certain point I would switch to P when I wanted to finish.
At the time, I was in total denial of what I was doing. Sure, I had this 'thing' I did every evening, but it never crossed over into my real life and all my problems were because of other things... right?
I finally got out for good last year. A perfect storm of meeting a new domme (who was also probably a dude) who got far too deep into my psyche and started using that to get personal details out of me (shamefully the most exciting thing i've ever experienced), and my computer dying with no hope of a quick fix (literally forcing me to stop using SL). Like any addict I had horrible withdrawals as the crushing reality of my situation came down on me. In the end I found a therapist with a specialisation in porn addiction and discovered nofap. Today I am happy and confident. A totally different man and one who sees a future for myself. I still get strong cravings and flashbacks, but I can say with certainty I will never go back to SL again.
Thoughts:
Second life is exactly what it says it is. A SECOND LIFE. One that dissociates you from reality the more you use it, eventually becoming stronger than reality itself (Some people on there were at a point where they never left their house. Literally living 24/7 in second life).This attracts people like us. We have something missing in our lives and SL - like any P or Psub - Is there to fill it.
Like heroin, Sl creeps up on you. It seems harmless at first but it can quickly become the only life you find any pleasure in. Projected through a virtual version of 'yourself' which in reality just represents your wildest desires.
Finally:
What do you guys think? anyone else had any experiences with SL? How did you quit? How did it mess you up?
I've searched through nofap before and have seen the subject mentioned a few times, but never in any detail. My goal is to have somewhere where ex-SL users can discuss and heal together, so feel free to chat and ask questions.
P.S.
I think it goes without saying that if you are still on SL: STOP.
My experience:
SL was really the catalyst for turning my P habit into a full blown addiction. It lets you play out your fantasies with other human beings completely anonymously and with zero consequence as you're acting through a virtual avatar.
For me, it started quite tame. I made an account just to see what it was all about, with designs to study and write a piece about it. Of course, I got sucked in immediately. I can't speak to what it used to be like in its heyday, but I can say for certain that now almost the entire platform is based around virtual sex and roleplay. I suppose this is because it's the ultimate consequence free environment to live out perverse fantasies that you would never have the chance to do in real life.
I entered SL with some kinks and a predominantly 'dominant' sexuality. I left as a confused, scarred and addicted submissive with unhealthy and unrealistic obsessions.
It's bizarre. Like most men I've had the thought of 'what if I was a girl, like the ones in porn?' which I believe to be pretty natural. Many women I've spoken to have had the same thoughts about gender swapping and as a horny teenager these thoughts were rare but existent. I can say for certain that I'm most comfortable as a straight man - men simply don't arouse me - but those occasional teenage fantasies were allowed to flourish in SL where you can literally play as a woman and barely anyone questions it. Despite having both a male and female avatar, I found that slowly I would only play as the female one, with my tastes getting more and more extreme. What’s even stranger is that this 'lie' about ones real life gender is completely accepted in SL, as most of the women you see are probably men behind the screen, and everyone knows it.
So I started slow but the investment became both emotional and financial rather quickly. To have an avatar that anyone will even chat with, you have to spend a large amount of money making them look good. I don't even want to know how much RL cash I've wasted on virtual items over the years but it was a lot. Once you look good, you go out and find what you want in this fake world. I met hundreds of people, some were nice, others deeply disturbed. Some I submitted to, others I made submit. I feel sick thinking about it, but those relationships have such a strong hold on me even today.
Still sound harmless? At my peak I was on SL for 4-6 hours a day, sometimes much more if I wasn’t working. This time was spent mentally and physically 'edging' and either waiting for someone particular to come online or finding someone new to 'play' my fantasies with. I would very rarely get off from SL alone, so at a certain point I would switch to P when I wanted to finish.
At the time, I was in total denial of what I was doing. Sure, I had this 'thing' I did every evening, but it never crossed over into my real life and all my problems were because of other things... right?
I finally got out for good last year. A perfect storm of meeting a new domme (who was also probably a dude) who got far too deep into my psyche and started using that to get personal details out of me (shamefully the most exciting thing i've ever experienced), and my computer dying with no hope of a quick fix (literally forcing me to stop using SL). Like any addict I had horrible withdrawals as the crushing reality of my situation came down on me. In the end I found a therapist with a specialisation in porn addiction and discovered nofap. Today I am happy and confident. A totally different man and one who sees a future for myself. I still get strong cravings and flashbacks, but I can say with certainty I will never go back to SL again.
Thoughts:
Second life is exactly what it says it is. A SECOND LIFE. One that dissociates you from reality the more you use it, eventually becoming stronger than reality itself (Some people on there were at a point where they never left their house. Literally living 24/7 in second life).This attracts people like us. We have something missing in our lives and SL - like any P or Psub - Is there to fill it.
Like heroin, Sl creeps up on you. It seems harmless at first but it can quickly become the only life you find any pleasure in. Projected through a virtual version of 'yourself' which in reality just represents your wildest desires.
Finally:
What do you guys think? anyone else had any experiences with SL? How did you quit? How did it mess you up?
I've searched through nofap before and have seen the subject mentioned a few times, but never in any detail. My goal is to have somewhere where ex-SL users can discuss and heal together, so feel free to chat and ask questions.
P.S.
I think it goes without saying that if you are still on SL: STOP.
