A place to talk about 'Second Life'

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by todolist, Mar 15, 2021.

  1. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    I have been debating whether to make this thread or not as Second Life (SL) is such a harmful place for P addicts and I don't want to give anyone ideas of joining it. Disclaimer: DON'T FUCKING JOIN SECOND LIFE

    My experience:

    SL was really the catalyst for turning my P habit into a full blown addiction. It lets you play out your fantasies with other human beings completely anonymously and with zero consequence as you're acting through a virtual avatar.

    For me, it started quite tame. I made an account just to see what it was all about, with designs to study and write a piece about it. Of course, I got sucked in immediately. I can't speak to what it used to be like in its heyday, but I can say for certain that now almost the entire platform is based around virtual sex and roleplay. I suppose this is because it's the ultimate consequence free environment to live out perverse fantasies that you would never have the chance to do in real life.

    I entered SL with some kinks and a predominantly 'dominant' sexuality. I left as a confused, scarred and addicted submissive with unhealthy and unrealistic obsessions.

    It's bizarre. Like most men I've had the thought of 'what if I was a girl, like the ones in porn?' which I believe to be pretty natural. Many women I've spoken to have had the same thoughts about gender swapping and as a horny teenager these thoughts were rare but existent. I can say for certain that I'm most comfortable as a straight man - men simply don't arouse me - but those occasional teenage fantasies were allowed to flourish in SL where you can literally play as a woman and barely anyone questions it. Despite having both a male and female avatar, I found that slowly I would only play as the female one, with my tastes getting more and more extreme. What’s even stranger is that this 'lie' about ones real life gender is completely accepted in SL, as most of the women you see are probably men behind the screen, and everyone knows it.

    So I started slow but the investment became both emotional and financial rather quickly. To have an avatar that anyone will even chat with, you have to spend a large amount of money making them look good. I don't even want to know how much RL cash I've wasted on virtual items over the years but it was a lot. Once you look good, you go out and find what you want in this fake world. I met hundreds of people, some were nice, others deeply disturbed. Some I submitted to, others I made submit. I feel sick thinking about it, but those relationships have such a strong hold on me even today.

    Still sound harmless? At my peak I was on SL for 4-6 hours a day, sometimes much more if I wasn’t working. This time was spent mentally and physically 'edging' and either waiting for someone particular to come online or finding someone new to 'play' my fantasies with. I would very rarely get off from SL alone, so at a certain point I would switch to P when I wanted to finish.

    At the time, I was in total denial of what I was doing. Sure, I had this 'thing' I did every evening, but it never crossed over into my real life and all my problems were because of other things... right?

    I finally got out for good last year. A perfect storm of meeting a new domme (who was also probably a dude) who got far too deep into my psyche and started using that to get personal details out of me (shamefully the most exciting thing i've ever experienced), and my computer dying with no hope of a quick fix (literally forcing me to stop using SL). Like any addict I had horrible withdrawals as the crushing reality of my situation came down on me. In the end I found a therapist with a specialisation in porn addiction and discovered nofap. Today I am happy and confident. A totally different man and one who sees a future for myself. I still get strong cravings and flashbacks, but I can say with certainty I will never go back to SL again.


    Second life is exactly what it says it is. A SECOND LIFE. One that dissociates you from reality the more you use it, eventually becoming stronger than reality itself (Some people on there were at a point where they never left their house. Literally living 24/7 in second life).This attracts people like us. We have something missing in our lives and SL - like any P or Psub - Is there to fill it.

    Like heroin, Sl creeps up on you. It seems harmless at first but it can quickly become the only life you find any pleasure in. Projected through a virtual version of 'yourself' which in reality just represents your wildest desires.


    What do you guys think? anyone else had any experiences with SL? How did you quit? How did it mess you up?

    I've searched through nofap before and have seen the subject mentioned a few times, but never in any detail. My goal is to have somewhere where ex-SL users can discuss and heal together, so feel free to chat and ask questions.


    I think it goes without saying that if you are still on SL: STOP.
  2. A8X

    A8X Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing. Never even considered entering SL myself but it was interesting to read about your experience.
  3. Longtime27

    Longtime27 Fapstronaut

    This is the first i've heard of it, but from what you've said and from what I can tell by looking at the site, it is a virtual world. I've had the discussion with friends that with the increase in virtual and augmented reality tech, there will come a whole new era of mental illness discovery and study, linked to addiction and loss of identity in such places. Something I care strongly about, but am pretty powerless to prevent by now.

    Summary from me - stay the f**k away from the virtual domain if you don't want to get hooked
    todolist likes this.
  4. As a player of league of legends I can, somehow, relate.
  5. shaunb

    shaunb New Fapstronaut

    I haven't used second life but my addiction is to roleplay and it sounds similar. I've had extended roleplays on a few different platforms, and with one other guy in particular over many years. Its just as absorbing as you describe - spending hours on it, and thinking deeply about it. Its time for this to change. The hardest part is saying goodbye to my long-term roleplay partner and I wish I could keep in touch with him without the sexual dimension.
  6. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    It's absolutely the same. As my nofap journey has progressed I've found it easier to see these roleplay experiences as deeply unfulfilling. They push all your buttons at the time but they never really get to any satisfying conclusion - even 'normal' porn with all its fakery is more real than the best roleplay scenario. I hope you find the help you need and find a way to move one. I have gone back to SL a few times since I wrote this post but it's never been for more than a night or two, and each time the experience makes me hate it more. Admitting the problem is the hardest part so I believe you're on the right track brother!
  7. Blackcrowes

    Blackcrowes Fapstronaut

    I fell deep into the rabbit hole that is SL. Pretty disturbing, life wasting and mindfucking. I left it 8 months ago and I'm still ashamed of what i did there.
    Melkhiresa and todolist like this.
  8. BlueBallsOG

    BlueBallsOG Fapstronaut

    Never heard of it, all I can say is VR porn is gonna fuck up the next generation
  9. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    I hear you, it's a dark place. I think one of the reasons you see very few people talking about it is that when you're IN its almost impossible to get OUT. Feel free to PM me if you wanna chat about it more.
  10. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    I think it already is. I remember reading a post years ago when VR was relatively new and I was still a porn addict in denial that VR-porn was far more addictive than the regular stuff. At the end of the day, this addiction leads you to wanting not only to 'watch' porn, but to actively 'be' porn. SL is a way of fulfilling that and so is VR. Both seem to disassociate someone from their true identity which clearly creates a whole host of mental health problems. So glad I never owned a VR headset!
  11. BlueBallsOG

    BlueBallsOG Fapstronaut

    I bought one, already doing NoFap, it was a bad relapse, tried VR porn 3 times. I immediately saw how addictive it would be, it really scared me and I threw it away.
  12. Mr. Kruger

    Mr. Kruger Fapstronaut

    And think about how many adolescents and teenagers currently own a VR headset for gaming. What percentage of those are going to inevitably stumble across VR porn at some point and get hopelessly addicted? Streaming HD porn was bad enough, but VR porn is going to be like the hydrogen bomb of porn addiction.
    todolist likes this.
  13. YouAren'tAlone

    YouAren'tAlone Fapstronaut

    ive been addicted to the rp stuff for 14 years.... i need help
  14. YouAren'tAlone

    YouAren'tAlone Fapstronaut

    I have been addicted to stuff like this since i was 14. It is mostly a site called chatango then extended to discord. It has me at 28 years old regretting my life and feeling like I wasted it... I just got a license and masters to be a teacher and im not certain I even want it because I have just been passive to real life. I know I need help. The only tie I still have to it is an online friend who I used to do that stuff with but refused to ever do it with me again when I said I had a problem. Idk if its okay to have online friends though even if its non sexual. But I dont know who I am.
  15. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    You're in the right place man. It's hard and it takes time but trust me, you can get over it. I also used to feel awful going outside and meeting people, like there were 2 people inside of me - the 'real me' and the 'roleplay me' and sometimes I wasn't sure which one was the actual person. You're not alone mate, just take it one day at a time and quit.
  16. YouAren'tAlone

    YouAren'tAlone Fapstronaut

    The only place I still have "online me" is I talk to one friend I kept who is very supportive, doesnt trigger the rping, and understands me. I just worry that is talking to anyone online my online me clinging on. I really value the friendship
    todolist likes this.
  17. mdz

    mdz Fapstronaut

    I found Second life roleplay being even more addictive than text based chat. And I disagree a bit that most women are men. Unfortunately many are women (if you find the right places), and it made my addiction worse, since I felt submission and sissification more "acceptable", encouraged by dominant women.
    Somehow I reached rock bottom at fall 2013, and struggled for three years. Last time I was doing roleplay in Second life was at the end of 2016.
  18. todolist

    todolist Fapstronaut

    Yeh, maybe I was exaggerating a bit with saying 'most' are men. Either way a significant portion of them are men behind the screen. You're totally right in that it lessens the feeling of responsibility when its virtual, as if talking through an avatar is not really a reflection of who you really are. Good to hear you got out for good, I'm also past it I feel as the financial investment to get back in has always stopped me re-committing when I relapse.
  19. RiverBlue

    RiverBlue Fapstronaut

    I was on SL back in its heyday, when people thought it would somehow replace the Internet and people paid beaucoup bucks to buy up virtual "land." I never could see how any of that could really happen, and it didn't. There was already a subculture of kink and fetish and plenty of sexual roleplay. I guess I was on there just about the time, it started to get expensive. I, fortunately, I guess, didn't really want to spend the money for the realist looking dick and the "leather" clothes. So I didn't ever get sucked in. And I'm guessing that the graphics/immersive nature were probably not at the level they are now. I haven't been back for years, although I've been curious to check back in. Thanks to your report, I don't have to! LOL
  20. Mr.Tony

    Mr.Tony Fapstronaut

    I had a past experience with Roleplaying Games, I remember 10 years, there was a community named: San Andreas Multiplayer - Oh yea it was all based on Grand Theft Auto San Andreas Video Game, I used to be addicted to it, it was bad tjat's true, but thanks to my addiction of roleplaying too much, i managed to learn the English Language too fast, it was like a mix of Dopamine and Learning how to communicate a different language in the same time, By 1 year, I remember speaking fluently super fast, with my love to Solif Snake person, I looked like a guy coming from a Hollywood Movie, Speaking David Hayter's voice and accrnt was pretty crazy, I've felt i was passing up my English Teachers.

    But yea...It was bad, but some how it's side effect really helped me, a lot!

    Even Today, when play some video games, I play them ad realisticaly as possible as of they happen in our same wormd with our basic rules and principles! I also love Philosophy and Human Behavor, somehow i love to switch myself virtually and look at the world from the eyes of a Criminal or a Police Officer or a Hero, I love seeing and thinking with their mindsets. Perhaps, that's why I sympathy with everyone even the bad guys in our worlds, they all wished to have a greater life, they were nothing more than the products of their Envirnoment and their Genetic Structure.

    Before i finish about that Porn thing...Nah! There is nothing to learn from that sh**, besides becoming a Pervert and having Erectile Dysfunction.

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