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A possible alternative to beginning your transformation with no PMO

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by andawg, Oct 31, 2015.

  1. andawg

    andawg Fapstronaut

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    Howdy all! It seems that a lot of people doing no PMO are coupling this adventure with other major life changes- it seems that sometimes it works, and sometimes there is chronic failure, chronic relapses, and a chronic degradation of self-worth, self-love, and self-belief.

    So perhaps no PMO is not the place to start for you.

    I am only speaking from personal experience and the reasoning I provide is the experience of my own life- so please don't take this as dogmatic or absolutist, it is simply one of the paths leading to the same end point.

    6 weeks ago I began my journey of 'rebuilding myself'. In essence- reclaiming my life. And I started with what I wanted to do. I wanted to lose weight, get muscled and create a normal lifting routine, and I wanted to begin meditating for the sake of discovering myself, and discovering truth. And so I did these things on my terms. I ate (and eat) healthy enough to lose 2 lb a week, I started doing powerlifting, and I started my meditation practice with just 5 minutes a day.

    What I could have done would have been to: try to eat super duper clean every day, hit the cardio absurdly hard, and meditate twice a day for twenty minutes apiece. BUT that was going to drive me to failure, I knew it would, it had in the past over and over and over and over. SO instead- I committed to doing the things that would make me happy, and doing those things on my terms. Because when you do things on your terms, you do things more sustainably. And ultimately change is not about a temporary fix, its about becoming something new altogether.

    The way I think about it: the fastest I can go is slow. If I go any faster than slow, I will fail.

    And this system has worked wonders for me. I'm at the 6 week mark- I've lost 12 pounds, I do squats, deadlifts, and benchpress 3-4 times a week, and I meditate 14 minutes every single morning. I have failed a lot but success is built on modifications in response to failure. Failure is necessary.

    Anyways, I digress- because I was able to make all these changes, and learn how personal change works the best for me, and how I can do it sustainably, I found myself inspired and pushed to change other things in my life that previously seemed incredibly daunting, too painful or difficult to address, or frankly- not something I wanted to change but knew I needed to change.

    So between the confidence and skills I learned changing the parts of my life that I really wanted to change, and doing it my way, I felt much more prepared to jump into no PMO. I feel I have the tools and abilities to beat PMO, that I would not have had 6 weeks ago.

    So maybe, if you've been struggling with PMO, start with stuff you want to do, the way you want to do it, and do it sustainably, slowly. And once your foundation is there, confront your PMO problems.

    Just some thoughts and some love. As always, best of luck to the lot of us!!

    a
     
    taqwa likes this.
  2. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

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    Really insightful! Interesting perspective. My comment would be that for many people PMO prevents them from building these skills you are referring to. Stop PMO--> more time and motivation--> build skills and confidence--> further barrier to returning to PMO. I find it interesting that your pattern was different. This is cool! It is proof there are many ways to skin a cat. Also, reminds us not to be so dogmatic in our ways and methods and be open minded to different approaches. Thanks for sharing!
     
    andawg likes this.
  3. andawg

    andawg Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bruddah! We'll see if my theory holds, it is only day 4. But in past attempts (quite some time ago), I distinctly remember handling the emotions, urges, feelings, doubts- far more difficult, and the confidence that I would succeed was not their either.
     

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