D
Deleted Account
Guest
I am a generally shy, anti-social person when around other people, but I've been trying to break out of that. Been going to a lot of Meetup groups, going out more in public, etc. Trying to work up a way to approach women as well. The more I go out, the more I take stock of what I did well, and what I need to work on. I was at a Meetup Halloween party over the weekend, and noticed something that I think will be helpful for me. I didn't know anybody at the party except for a few vague acquaintances. I felt somewhat more comfortable than I usually do in this kind of social setting, with the increased practice I've been getting, so that was good. I was able to approach strangers and strike up conversation. I still shied away from approaching girls I thought were pretty, so I still need to work on that. I limited my alcohol use, so that was good too because drinking actually makes things worse because I'm less mindful of what I'm doing so I can't experiment or improve my social skills. I had an epiphany that some people at the party that I talked to, I just "clicked" with, and other people I didn't click with. Some people I talked to, the conversation was pretty dull and stilted. Other people it wasn't, it flowed. So I'm excited to use that as motivation for me to approach people, to find which people I "click" with. It makes the thought of approaching people more pleasant. Up until now, approaching people has been a purely negative chore in my mind, focusing entirely on my performance, and being rejected, etc. But now I realize that whether or not you click with a person is dependent on the other person just as much as it is on you. So this is kind of exciting actually. As for approaching girls, well in a party setting, I notice I tend to have a much easier time talking to girls that I'm not attracted to, and avoid the girls I am attracted to. I'm glad I recognize that now. So, I want to go with the mindset that there will be attractive girls that I will click with, and attractive girls that I won't click with. This mindset just makes it seem more fun and exciting and a potentially pleasant experience. I have a big singles' party Meetup this Saturday I'm going to, so I'll be able to try this out!