A problem with submission

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by pafon55, Apr 17, 2019.

  1. pafon55

    pafon55 Fapstronaut

    Hey there people! So I've gotten myself in a weird spot. My story much like a lot of the folks here is rather simple. Got into PMO at a very young age, then kept it up. Masturbated like 6 times a day and escalated to weird things. I've watched it all, except for (and thank fucking god) child porn. Now. One of the things I've watched was gay porn. I consider myself straight. I think I am going through HOCD right now. For a few months I thought I was gay. I no longer think that. Then I thought I was bi (in fact up until recent). I have a problem with the latter cause I genuinely don't find the male body attractive. I can without any problem now say if a guy is good looking (although HOCD really didn't want me to accept that) and in all honesty I think it's normal to be able to say if a person of the same sex (or the opposite to yours sexual orientation) is good looking. I do not feel any sexual attraction from the male body. My problems started when I watching gay porn some time ago (a few months now) and I was wondering why do I get turned on by it. I've never watched it from the dudes I don't find their bodies attractive and then I figured it out. It was the idea of being dominated by a man. I've never been an assertive dude or dominant and in fact I can feel a bit weak and scared from life in general. So since I really don't draw any sexual stimulation from the male body in general and I would never nor do I want to have a sexual relationship with men this cycle has me in a very weird checkmate. I feel like I am submissive not only in sex but also in life. How do I change that mindset ?! Sorry for the long post. Cheers !
    hardowner likes this.
  2. Welcome to the community. Thank you for sharing your story.
    When this comes from years of porn it can be helped and start to fade with time away from PMO
    pafon55 and hardowner like this.
  3. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    One advice from me - do a full 90 day reboot and then rethink your needs. Porn can heavily affect your desires and make you feel you want something you actually do not. After that you will think clearly.

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