A Progressive Challenge-A different kind of challenge- all levels

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by DerNeuMann, Nov 13, 2017.

  1. Sc8r51o1n

    Sc8r51o1n Fapstronaut

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    Must be day 50. Now paying attention to the numbers now.

    Doing well, joined dancing class to get used to female presence live.
    Also did part of Approach challenge.
    I can now compliment beautiful women on the street, paying attention to my emotions, relaxation state and grounding.

    I have a plan and I am following it.

    Stay focused!

    Oh, also had a wet dream, after all this time. It reminded me of the nofap, as I have gotten accustomed to it.
     
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  2. Narwhale

    Narwhale Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the encouragement! I am glad to say that I just completed day 2. I have already noticed that many times when I want to PMO, I usually have other needs that I need to take care of. Once I have, it is easier to say no.

    I have also noticed that while my streaks haven't been long--usually 5 days--I have had a lot more of them than before I started nofap. I find that very encouraging.
     
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  3. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    Good. Yes, many of us noticed that our urge to pmo was stronger when we needed to take care of other things. The more you understand how your brain is playing this game, the more likely you are to win.
     
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  4. silvermonk

    silvermonk Fapstronaut

  5. Narwhale

    Narwhale Fapstronaut

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    Today was kind of strange. I relapsed, but this time I couldn't figure out what was driving the urges. These times are most frustrating, because it seems like there is no lesson to learn or improvement made. And I wonder how much longer I might have needed to hold out to successfully fended off the temptation.

    Anyway, Day 0, goal of 5+. Let's try this again!
     
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  6. silvermonk

    silvermonk Fapstronaut

    I think sometimes we don´t need any trigger at all. Or the trigger is in our brain only - we are used to PMO in too many situations and it feels strange when we don´t. So you have to get used to that new reality. When relapsing, you only reassert your identity of an addict. Avoid that if you can. It will make things much easier for you.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2019
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  7. silvermonk

    silvermonk Fapstronaut

    39/90. Slowly but surely. There´s no rush. I don´t want to be cocky, I don´t want to be impatient. One foot follows the other. Every day is different but things are much better in the long run. The ups and downs are not so wild anymore.
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
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  8. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    It's not always easy but sometimes the best thing to do when the idea pops into your head is to tell yourself you're simply not going to think about it. Then try and think about something completely different.
     
  9. silvermonk

    silvermonk Fapstronaut

    40/90. I feel strong and I want more of that. Thinking of ways to change my life for better.
     
  10. Narwhale

    Narwhale Fapstronaut

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    I am happy to say that I completed day 3 and 4 of a 5 day challenge.
     
  11. silvermonk

    silvermonk Fapstronaut

    Great news, man. One more day and you are going to reach your goal.
     
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  12. Narwhale

    Narwhale Fapstronaut

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    Well, relapsed yesterday, but after completing my first 5 day streak in a while, I am feeling pretty good. My rate of PMO was lower than last month and with fewer days in which it happened. Hopefully, I can maintain a downward trend or at least not return to previously high rates of PMO.

    The semester starts in just a few days. I am in grad school, which is probably the most stressful thing I have ever done, and which presents a different kind of challenge. During this summer, I was more bored, despite working full time. During the semester, I will be more stressed.

    Starting a new challenge, with the aim to reach 7 days. 1/7
     
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  13. Narwhale

    Narwhale Fapstronaut

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    3/7. Semester starts tomorrow.
     
  14. Sc8r51o1n

    Sc8r51o1n Fapstronaut

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    I needed to share I feel lonely and rejected.
    They say it helps.

    A girl irl did not respond to my request to go out and meet. Another one ignored me in tinder after a few messages.

    I will keep being direct because it is open and fair.
     
  15. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    You are right that direct and open is best. That said, there is a saying where I grew up, "If you hang around bars, you will only meet the kinds of girls who hang around bars." So, if you hang around Tinder, you will only meet the kind of girl who hangs around Tinder.

    You are becoming a new man now. And as you have already learned, you don't get to day 67 by continuing old ways and old thought patterns. It's time for you to change your old thought patterns about girls and get out to a coffee shop or market or other gathering where you will meet different kinds of girls than the ones hanging around Tinder. Those girls are shallow and will leave you feeling lonely because that's what they do and who they are and they are looking in the wrong place for affection and attention. They'll only find the kind of guys who hang out on Tinder.

    You're a new man now. You need to start looking for girls who are interested in you as a person and who themselves are interesting people. Does this make sense?

    I'm really proud of your progress. Keep up the hard work and don't waste it all by returning to old thought habits. Habits of thought are, by far, the most difficult habits to break but it is totally necessary to do so to become the new you.
     
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  16. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    Work hard. Establish new routines and habits this semester. You are stronger than you think. Try not to turn to pmo in order to relieve anxiety. Teach yourself to find new ways to handle your stress.
     
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  17. Narwhale

    Narwhale Fapstronaut

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    Well, first couple days of the semester hit me like a ton of bricks. I relapsed on the 4th and again this morning. The good news is that I didn't fold like a house of cards immediately, but only after I ran out of ideas about how to distract myself. Procrastination has a lot to do with it, since I find yourself unable to do what I need to do, and see PMO as a way to relieve stress and get back on track. But as you say DerNeuMann, I need to change my habits of thought and routine to recover from PMO addiction.

    I had never thought about changing habits of thought, though I really should have, since I have known for a long time that sheer force of will is not enough. But I also feel pretty terrible because I feel like I should have a straight line of recover--first 5 days, then 7, then 14, then 21...But I am going to guess that's not how it works? I've managed to get to 5 a couple times with no trouble, then 7 once or twice with some effort, but I always fall back to just two or three days. Does recovery usually involve a lot of failure at first? How did you all get into double digits (or triple digits)?

    0/7. Gonna stick with the seven day goal for now. I think I will also try to go to the library or a friends' house to study, since it puts distance between myself and the ability to use PMO.
     
  18. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    Right, right and right. Yes, failures help you get better at handling urges. Urges never go away if you're normal and healthy. The point is that you learn to deal with them, mainly by getting into life and away from worry, boredom and procrastination.

    It's kind of like a video game where you get to a boss and lose several lives trying to beat it. You eventually learn what you need to do and go to the next level and then you die and learn and so forth. Each time you learn something that helps the next time.
     
  19. Sc8r51o1n

    Sc8r51o1n Fapstronaut

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    As i have been into 250 days I may speak of experience.
    Last year and this year I had a goal in mind, a determination. And it was waaaay stronger than any PMO urge. If that makes sense.

    I have also been with the attitude of "yeah, nofap is good for me, i should be doing it" and in that period I PMO-ed occasionally to release stress.

    On July first I was fed up and decided full commitment to my goal again and here is the streak.
    Now even my wet dreams are not wet, my whole being is determined.

    Good luck and define a goal that is bigger than life!
     
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  20. Sc8r51o1n

    Sc8r51o1n Fapstronaut

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    Personal update:
    Next target, as this is progressive challenge: 120 days.
     
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