A Progressive Challenge-A different kind of challenge- all levels

Well, relapsed yesterday, but after completing my first 5 day streak in a while, I am feeling pretty good. My rate of PMO was lower than last month and with fewer days in which it happened. Hopefully, I can maintain a downward trend or at least not return to previously high rates of PMO.

The semester starts in just a few days. I am in grad school, which is probably the most stressful thing I have ever done, and which presents a different kind of challenge. During this summer, I was more bored, despite working full time. During the semester, I will be more stressed.

Starting a new challenge, with the aim to reach 7 days. 1/7
 
I needed to share I feel lonely and rejected.
They say it helps.

A girl irl did not respond to my request to go out and meet. Another one ignored me in tinder after a few messages.

I will keep being direct because it is open and fair.
 
Sc8r51o1n said:
I needed to share I feel lonely and rejected.
They say it helps.

A girl irl did not respond to my request to go out and meet. Another one ignored me in tinder after a few messages.

I will keep being direct because it is open and fair.
Click to expand...
You are right that direct and open is best. That said, there is a saying where I grew up, "If you hang around bars, you will only meet the kinds of girls who hang around bars." So, if you hang around Tinder, you will only meet the kind of girl who hangs around Tinder.

You are becoming a new man now. And as you have already learned, you don't get to day 67 by continuing old ways and old thought patterns. It's time for you to change your old thought patterns about girls and get out to a coffee shop or market or other gathering where you will meet different kinds of girls than the ones hanging around Tinder. Those girls are shallow and will leave you feeling lonely because that's what they do and who they are and they are looking in the wrong place for affection and attention. They'll only find the kind of guys who hang out on Tinder.

You're a new man now. You need to start looking for girls who are interested in you as a person and who themselves are interesting people. Does this make sense?

I'm really proud of your progress. Keep up the hard work and don't waste it all by returning to old thought habits. Habits of thought are, by far, the most difficult habits to break but it is totally necessary to do so to become the new you.
 
Well, first couple days of the semester hit me like a ton of bricks. I relapsed on the 4th and again this morning. The good news is that I didn't fold like a house of cards immediately, but only after I ran out of ideas about how to distract myself. Procrastination has a lot to do with it, since I find yourself unable to do what I need to do, and see PMO as a way to relieve stress and get back on track. But as you say DerNeuMann, I need to change my habits of thought and routine to recover from PMO addiction.

I had never thought about changing habits of thought, though I really should have, since I have known for a long time that sheer force of will is not enough. But I also feel pretty terrible because I feel like I should have a straight line of recover--first 5 days, then 7, then 14, then 21...But I am going to guess that's not how it works? I've managed to get to 5 a couple times with no trouble, then 7 once or twice with some effort, but I always fall back to just two or three days. Does recovery usually involve a lot of failure at first? How did you all get into double digits (or triple digits)?

0/7. Gonna stick with the seven day goal for now. I think I will also try to go to the library or a friends' house to study, since it puts distance between myself and the ability to use PMO.
 
Narwhale said:
Well, first couple days of the semester hit me like a ton of bricks. I relapsed on the 4th and again this morning. The good news is that I didn't fold like a house of cards immediately, but only after I ran out of ideas about how to distract myself. Procrastination has a lot to do with it, since I find yourself unable to do what I need to do, and see PMO as a way to relieve stress and get back on track. But as you say DerNeuMann, I need to change my habits of thought and routine to recover from PMO addiction.

I had never thought about changing habits of thought, though I really should have, since I have known for a long time that sheer force of will is not enough. But I also feel pretty terrible because I feel like I should have a straight line of recover--first 5 days, then 7, then 14, then 21...But I am going to guess that's not how it works? I've managed to get to 5 a couple times with no trouble, then 7 once or twice with some effort, but I always fall back to just two or three days. Does recovery usually involve a lot of failure at first? How did you all get into double digits (or triple digits)?

0/7. Gonna stick with the seven day goal for now. I think I will also try to go to the library or a friends' house to study, since it puts distance between myself and the ability to use PMO.
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Right, right and right. Yes, failures help you get better at handling urges. Urges never go away if you're normal and healthy. The point is that you learn to deal with them, mainly by getting into life and away from worry, boredom and procrastination.

It's kind of like a video game where you get to a boss and lose several lives trying to beat it. You eventually learn what you need to do and go to the next level and then you die and learn and so forth. Each time you learn something that helps the next time.
 
Narwhale said:
Does recovery usually involve a lot of failure at first? How did you all get into double digits (or triple digits)?
Click to expand...

As i have been into 250 days I may speak of experience.
Last year and this year I had a goal in mind, a determination. And it was waaaay stronger than any PMO urge. If that makes sense.

I have also been with the attitude of "yeah, nofap is good for me, i should be doing it" and in that period I PMO-ed occasionally to release stress.

On July first I was fed up and decided full commitment to my goal again and here is the streak.
Now even my wet dreams are not wet, my whole being is determined.

Good luck and define a goal that is bigger than life!
 
Well, relapsed yesterday. But not going to give up. I have gotten better at handling urges based in physical needs, just by asking myself what is actually going on? Why do I want to use PMO. Still working on the times when I am struggling with fear or stress that are not easily alleviated. Today, I had an unrelenting headache, which made it difficult, but I managed to stick with it, which makes today:

1/7
 
Narwhale said:
Well, relapsed yesterday. But not going to give up. I have gotten better at handling urges based in physical needs, just by asking myself what is actually going on? Why do I want to use PMO. Still working on the times when I am struggling with fear or stress that are not easily alleviated. Today, I had an unrelenting headache, which made it difficult, but I managed to stick with it, which makes today:

1/7
Click to expand...
Hi, Narwhale. It seems we slipped at about the same time, you and me. So let's start again! My last streak was almost 50 days. I´m going to overcome that.
 
Next part of the progression: 60 days of dancing lessons 4 times a week.
Yesterday was day 1, so target is November 10th.
The point actually is to make friends in the club with the people there and to go to dates with the attractive girls.
Target: 4 dates by November 10th.
 
Personal update:

Allowed myself to MO. No porn.
The girl reappeared, I asked her out twice, she is denying.
Another one is under the radar now. She even complimented my salsa dancing signals last night at the party of the dancing club.
I am having lots of fun at the latino parties and dance with ten different girls and women per night, which is a lot for me.
Looking for signals of interest.
 
Seems like a cool challenge and might be just what I need. I'm in.

My ultimate goal is 90 days but for now I'll focus on getting to the day 4, since I've had trouble getting past day 3 lately.

This is the day 0 for me.

EDIT: Oh, and an addittional challenge for myself is not to entertain any thoughts that I know will encourage me to relapse. Not thinking any fantasies I'd normally fap for and not trying to reason why I could relapse.
 
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Soy un usuario nuevo y estoy dentro, no sé cómo funciona la página, pero solo quiero comenzar una nueva vida sin PMO. Sé que lo lograré pero no será fácil. He intentado tanto tiempo convercerme a mi misma que ya no lo haga pero no puedo sin alguna ayuda.
 
Chipsahoy! said:
Soy un usuario nuevo y estoy dentro, no sé cómo funciona la página, pero solo quiero comenzar una nueva vida sin PMO. Sé que lo lograré pero no será fácil. He intentado tanto tiempo convercerme a mi misma que ya no lo haga pero no puedo sin alguna ayuda.
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Creo que es posible sin ayuda, pero cuando ayuda es cerca, por qué no usar? Bienvenidos. Una nueva vida sin PMO es admirable y más alegría, yo sé porque mi experiencia. El español de mío no es magnifico pero hablar un poco. Cuantos días quieres por tu primer objetivo?
 
ShadyPerson said:
Seems like a cool challenge and might be just what I need. I'm in.

My ultimate goal is 90 days but for now I'll focus on getting to the day 4, since I've had trouble getting past day 3 lately.

This is the day 0 for me.

EDIT: Oh, and an addittional challenge for myself is not to entertain any thoughts that I know will encourage me to relapse. Not thinking any fantasies I'd normally fap for and not trying to reason why I could relapse.
Click to expand...

Oh well, started really good with a relapse. Day 0, the same challenge. This time I'll make it.
 
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