A question after an emasculating attempt losing my virginity.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by EdSucks, Oct 27, 2020.

  1. EdSucks

    EdSucks Fapstronaut

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    I am 27 and virgin, i started masturbation at ~12, at 13 there was this occasional porn use, but not much, a spike in porn use between 16 and 18. But most of my masturbation was to imagination.

    At 22, i had a smartphone, since then, i masturbated daily and often more than once a day to porn, my fantasy fapping habits faded and every urge, i would have my phone and porn ready.

    I used webcam sex, and i eventually found myself spending up to few hours watching but not edging until i found the right model and perfect moment. My habit was to fap quickly to the perfect scene and be done with it.

    Now i want to note, that i only used porn whenever i felt the need to masturbate, which was daily, and more often twice a day, rarely more.

    Now i since earlier this year, i find myself witha really low libido, i found out that my erections are not hard anymore, and without porn i could never wake it up.

    My situation became even worse in july, that's when i noticed that my erection goes soft very quickly if i don't keep touching myself. I always knew in my mind that masturbation was bad, and since that moment, i lost all my urges to masturbate and watch porn...

    I don't know if this all mental or what exactly, but i remember very well, up to last year in december, my erections were perfect... i read that pied is gradual and happends over few years....so i am really confused.

    I would like to note that in January i ate antidepressants for only 30 days(1 package). I also used propranolol during that time in attempts to mute my panic attacks and stoo my body from shaking in public around people. I don't want to believe that i suffer from post ssri sexual dysfunction, it was very difficult to reach orgasm on these meds, after i stopped i was normal, the only explanation is they could have made me lose libido and erectile function in a very slow way throughout 3 or so months??

    In August i had the first woman whom wanted sex with me, as much as i was excited about the idea, it didn't feel good at all, i didn't feel aroused, horny, no pleasure whatsoever, i only felt that i need to pleasure her, as if it was my job. My erection could come up at around 70%(barely enough for penetration) only through heavy kissing. Then it dies quickly before i could makke it inside her... nothing worked, bj, hj all failed...


    So now could this be from porn or a medical condition? I want to note that i have no real sexual experiences and never been so close tona real girl in any sexual form... until this year at the age of 27.

    Could porn make someone from being normal to giving him a very bad case of pied in just few months ?

    I remember in summer 2019, last year, i did several masturbation sessions without porn and i didn't notice any issue...

    Some feedback is appreciated.
     
  2. ss1111

    ss1111 Fapstronaut

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    This takes me back to my first time as well, barely penetrated 15 seconds before going soft. BJ felt lifeless I was like tf this shit? It took me so long to actually get horny and even when I got a little turned on I couldn’t keep it up for a long time. FML I thought. Embarrassing. That’s when I found nofap. 75 days later? I’m getting ereftions just by kissing and making out. My girl was wearing something hot the other day, I was turned on the moment I saw her and we actually got to the point she almost gave me a bj and I was ROCK hard but it wasn’t feasible considering the location.

    My friend, you have nothing wrong in you. It’s just the several years of brain abuse by porn. Stick to no pmo and you’ll see results eventually for yourself
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  3. InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

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    Stop the porn and masturbation completely.
     
  4. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Research around this site and you will find lots of info about what happened to your brain. Because you were using porn at a young(er) age you patterned your brain's reaction to sexual stimuli a certain way (not to real life situations). So now you have to undo that patterning by staying completely away from any P imagery on the screen and definitely no M. You need to clean the slate of your brain pattern so that as @ss1111 says, things respond properly. At 27 years old your equipment should be working. Best that you deal with the fact you have a PMO addiction now. And the fact that you were using PMO twice a day is proof of addiction. You need to be cognizant of the fact that jerking off to porn twice a day is NOT normal behavior. If it was ok, you'd be able to say to your gf or mother or even one of your buddies - "hey I just wanked another one this afternoon, how is your day going?". You now have all the feedback you need. Get started. Join an accountability or challenge group here. Today.
     
    ss1111 likes this.
  5. Same exact thing happened to me. I was desensitized mentally and physically and doing it with a real woman was just not possible. If it was softer than my hand, it wouldn't get the job done, even if I really wanted it to work. Haven't tried again after NoFap but sensitivity returned after a long enough streak.
     
    EdSucks likes this.
  6. EdSucks

    EdSucks Fapstronaut

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    How long are you talking about?
     
  7. ss1111

    ss1111 Fapstronaut

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    It will take time buddy. Just give it time. Everyone recovers at their own time. Just trust the process
     
  8. I had what I call "death grip syndrome", where only very rough masturbation, or prone masturbation was enough to get me off. I would say that after around 2 months, the sensitivity returned. I relapsed on my 93rd day and it only took about 10 seconds of light contact.
     
  9. onwards_upwards_1

    onwards_upwards_1 Fapstronaut

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    Definitely nothing physically wrong with you at just 27 years old. Your issue is that you've trained your brain to need a crazy ammount of stimuli in order to get aroused. While it probably does take years to develop PIED, it can can feel like it comes out of nowhere - that's because you don't notice it until it becomes a problem - the same as any other health issue. I remember years ago I was in a relationship, so having regular sex, but also doing PMO a lot, and one day I just started to struggle getting fully hard with my girlfriend. Like you, I wondered if I had a physical problem, then I discovered Your brain on porn and NoFap. When I started getting my porn habit in check, I was back to normal in real life.

    Sounds like you need a full reboot. I'm no expert, but I would imagination as you've never had sex, only ever used porn, your brain is probably all messed up about what it's meant to get turned on by.

    The good news is, you can fix it! You'll find some great advice for getting started on these forums
     
    EdSucks likes this.
  10. dwarfstruggles

    dwarfstruggles Fapstronaut


    That sounds a lot like my first sexual experience. It also sounds like performance anxiety, which I also have. Performance anxiety could be specific to sexual stuff, but might also be manifesting in other areas of your life, like work or academia, and has a bit to do with perfectionism.

    Definitely quit porn and also fapping if you can. If nofap is too hard, learn to do it without fantasy or outside stimulation. If you have some other anxiety related issue, definitely go seek help for that. Also read or watch some of the basic 'your brain on porn' stuff, pied is relatively common here. And sex with women is nothing like masturbating to porn, so you have to re sensitize yourself.

    If the girl is still okay with you, be honest and vulnerable with her, and maybe things could continue.
     

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