A Rock and A Hard Place (No pun intended)

I am in the same situation as you right now. Strong convictions. Waiting. I’m not engaged yet, but my GF and I are shooting for a March 2021 wedding, so I’ve got a bit of a wait. First off, I want to empathize, it’s hard. It really is. The tension is so overwhelming and feels like torture sometimes. That said, I have some advice and wisdom that has helped me on my journey. It might come out a little random, but hopefully some of it sticks.

1) One mental trick I use is to remind myself I have the rest of my life to have sex with my GF/wife when we get married. Let this idea bring some perspective into it. This period of time before marriage can be used for other stuff like emotional connection and building your character. You and your fiancé have the rest of your lives to have sex. 9 more months isn’t a whole lot compared to that. (My goal is to max out my PMO free counter at 500+ days and then lose the O part on my wedding night. That would be awesome!)

2) Let this truth sink in. Marriage and being able to have sex with your now fiancé will not fix your P problem. She won’t always want to have sex with you when you want it. I don’t know if you want kids, but you’ll have to wait a bit to have sex while she recovers from giving birth. Hard times happen. Depression Spells happen. Life is a long time and stuff happens. You don’t want to be that guy PMOing in the bathroom instead of taking care of his wife when she needs him most. By looking at P you’re training your mind and body to expect release whenever you want it and that’s not how marriage works. I haven’t experienced it myself, but I trust the many wise men who have told me so.

3) Let the urges push you into something more meaningful than a temporary comfort. My urges are strongest in bed in the morning and at night. I can’t wait to have a wife to wake up to. But until then I’m choosing to get to know God better. Pray, read your Bible, and use that time to connect spiritually. It’s worked for me.