Spoiler: Backstory Ever since I learned about masturbation, my sexual preference has gone out to older women. I suspect this may have been caused by emotional trauma. When I was a kid, my mother has been away several times, 2 years at once. Sometimes she would come home to leave again soon after. Having to miss my mom at a young age can have made me become attracted to older women. I've always searched this fantasy out in pornographic material. But not in real life romantic relationships. I've been with 3 girls my age in young adulthood and have suffered ED with each one. I stopped trying 10 years ago. I'm at a point now where I want to try again. I went to see a doctor before I start looking for a new relationship. After I told her my story, she wanted to tell me three things: There's nothing wrong with nonexcessive porn use. She advised me to start masturbating again. If I'm looking for a new relationship it would be good to put him back up again. It releases testosterone. Something about preventing prostate cancer. 80% of guys doesn't get it up the first time or has got trouble ejaculating. I don't have enough experience to know if I've got ED. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing about older women. Maybe I should even go for it. Our conversation ended there. Time was up. I've got to think it over. Before I decide to go back there or not. I wanted to share this here. Because I believe in what we're doing here. And I've already benefited a lot from abstinence.