A year ago compared to now, Nofap journey. (transwoman,Sissy Fetish recovery)

So i'll just start out without not giving too much unnecessary detail.

This is only partial and basic information the whole story is a lot more in-depth, but that would be maybe at a later time.

i'm 20 years old, fapping from around 11-12. Normal porn til around 17 then i started escalating to some "extreme" stuff which lead to self destructive thoughts, hate, suicidal thoughts, severe anxiety etc etc. A year ago i was in a toxic relationship, i was watching porn almost every day. Not to mention i was really sucked in that ssisy fendom stuff and i tried to do "some stuff" which i have never done to myself before and that was a huge blow to my ego, confidence and all of that. I didn't feel like a man i felt awful.

Back then i was just so depressed and even anorexic. I'm around 5'9 (176 cm) and i weight 140 lb (~65 kg) i felt horrible i was weak and i hated myself even more. But i slowly started to fix my habits and life style.

I got out of that toxic relationship i started working out i fixed my diet and got some supplements and i researched A LOT about nutrition bodybuilding and general fitness. (What i learned is that you only need creative, protein and vitamins everything is else is basically not worth the money) And as of right now i'm 176 lb (~ 80 kg ) mostly muscle mass but some fat too. Overall my strength has improved greatly, and focusing on my back plus having a naturally big chest gives me that triangle shape which just looks good in the mirror. And people do notice it and sometimes compliment me on that. Overall i noticed that i actually look good i don't consider myself ugly at all and after being more open and talking to more girls i receive subtle compliments about my looks which just feels good.

And the best part of all is that i can lift around my girlfriend like a weight and carry her everywhere which makes her feel good about her weight. (her words) I kind of lost the counter on nofap but its been at least 4-5 weeks now without porn. And i have quite regular sex with my new girlfriend and god damn it really is a huge ego boost when she says "its so big it hurts" or "Damn you're good at this" I used to have PIED, performance anxiety and i was scared that i wouldn't last long yet, i did and after the first few times it only got better and better.

I'm not yet where i want to be but if i can do it so can you, don't give up. And i know there's pretty much a "motivation bullshit" on a lot of posts but i really want you people to get better especially those struggling with this cancerous fetish. Get angry at yourself, get angry at this plague, That is what made me change in the downfall of my life i was angry and the burning in my chest made me go crazy, and if not right now, maybe today but i encourage you to get up, put some music on go run, workout do something, that's how i started i have been lurking around nofap a lot not really posting that much but i can see that there are a lot of people who are struggling with this, and remembering how i used to struggle.. nobody deserves this. I'm here to answer all the questions or give advice. If i can help even 1 person to get 1% closer to getting rid of this plague.. that would make me really happy.