A year and a half later, or, The road to victory

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by EyeTree, Dec 23, 2015.

  1. EyeTree

    EyeTree Fapstronaut

    Hi guys (and some gals, I presume),
    It has been a long while since I last posted here. The investigators among you while check and find out that I had my farewell post, in which I stated I will not be posting here again. A deeper investigation will reveal the controversial method I used and a weird (but true) story.

    So why am I here again? I just have something very important to share with you.

    A quick glance over the abundance of posts in the various forums reveal something that is crucial but is too often gets overlooked - and this something is the thing I discovered time and time again during my redemption.

    A short "in the last episode of..." for those non-investigators among you. I decided one day to never PMO again and I succeeded. after a while I started testing myself to see if it holds up: watching provocative scenes in movies or TV series, watching random porn and even hang up with two sex addict friends (a meeting that ended with the two of them having sex basically in front of me). Those tests were marked as tests and I held up to the challenge. I didn't felt the urge and the yarn to touch my little friend down there. It might be controversial, but it worked for me so well that I helped other I personally know to get rid of their porn addiction (and and one with drug addiction). I did not test myself for the last six months as I trust myself completely.

    But... I had a few downs during my journey in the last three months where I felt SOMETHING that reminded me of the awful porn addiction. I resisted them, but the feeling was bad... I felt my mind fighting me, and I felt my little friend joining my mind. And you know what? the triggers were all NOT SEX RELATED WHAT SO EVER!

    In one case I had dealt with a lot of pressure at work and some failures in a project I worked on. In another, I was angry about something. I the last case, I was simply playing GTA 5 for an hour.

    It got me thinking about my claims about PMO addiction - It is not the porn that gets you addicted, it is simply the inability to hold ground in the face of difficulties in life. You see, when you face a challenge and you have a hard time dealing with it, your brain HURTS. Neurologically, it acts the same way like you are hurting, and it doesn't like it. If you GOT USED to watch porn, which is all too easy to get used to, your brain know it has a way to make itself happy again. You go through the PMO cycle and your brain gets flushed with hormones that makes the pain go away. I doesn't mean you are hooked on porn, but it does mean that your brain is choosing the easy way out. It does that because it is exactly what it needs to do - apply the quickest and easiest fix to the hurt feelings.

    As I fought the downs, I paid extra attention to the things I chose to do to fight them off. In the first case I went to talk with my manager and then with my co-workers as a relief. From a man who didn't ask for help, I choose now to ask for help whenever I feel stuck in something. In the second case, I took a deep breath and realized my anger was stupid. I had nothing to do to fix the thing I was angry about, so I chose to explain myself and to my wife why it is OK to have things that anger you in the world. In the third case, which was the hardest one, I chose to stop playing and do something relaxing. I read a book and played with the dog, and it just faded away. My reasoning to that case is that deep inside I regard to playing GTA as a waste of time, but I don't completely agree with myself. I love playing games, but some games feel better than others because I hold them in a different level.

    This is the pathology with every addiction - you CHOOSE to fall back to the safe cold hands of the addiction rather than to DEAL with your poor day to day skills. Once you realize you are just hiding behind the addiction, you are truly on your way to be cured.

    I will say that again and even more direct - Saying that your weakness is porn is a lie and will not get you to where you want to go. It will take you a certain distance, but there will come a time when you will relapse. Your problem is not Porn, Masturbating or Orgasm. Your problem is your inability to face challenges and difficulties. Improve those and you PMO addiction will be a thing of the past.

    If you will simply avoid PMO and do nothing to improve yourself - you are fooling yourself and just blowing smoke in your own eyes.

    I hope this might help some of you, as it helped me and some other people.

    Take care and don't forget - You are in charge of yourself, good and bad.
  2. Keemo

    Keemo Fapstronaut

    I concur. It appears that addictions are simply coping mechanisms also known as self-medication. While fixing one's life would make self-medicating unnecessary, the other way around is still pertinent as well: once you remove self-medication (ex:porn) from the equation, you have no other choice but to fix your s**t. The reason why people are not improving themselves is because they are giving up too soon and relapsing.
    thomasnl likes this.
  3. blazor28

    blazor28 Fapstronaut

    dude EyeTree u have given me the answer i wanted. U might be surprised but i think exactly the same way as u and i was called a fool by my friends but i guess to be someone different u need to think out of the box.U have understood the condition very well and i recommend to carry this philosophy on for many generations. Don't give in man i will definitely try hard and join u there.This is my new year resolution .

  4. blazor28

    blazor28 Fapstronaut

    relapsed today but i will definately turn towards porn free 2016.
  5. the_grindel

    the_grindel Fapstronaut

    This video was on the front page of reddit a little while ago and the NoFap subreddit picked up on it, so I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of you have seen it.

    Since watching it, I've found it to be true for me. My addiction to porn really only arose when I was feeling some other emotion and not wanting to deal with it.

    Like @EyeTree said: "You see, when you face a challenge and you have a hard time dealing with it, your brain HURTS."

    It doesn't like that. It knows it can feel good from PMO so it jumps back to that.
    The thing is, I never have problems with abstaining from PMO when I'm happy, busy, or around people I want to be around. It's when I start to get angry or feel sorry for myself that the struggle begins. This backs up the statement in the video and the statements made by @EyeTree.

    StarKing likes this.
  6. mickeybear

    mickeybear Fapstronaut

    I feel as though this post is something that should be read a lot more.
    PMO is such an easy way to get that remedy or success switch on inside the brain, but
    in real life, difficulties are not solved so easily. Rather than running away from the
    challenges in life, I am now motivated to tackle them. Thanks a lot EyeTree!
  7. StarKing

    StarKing Guest

    Yep, PMO is a symptom of something deeper.
    In essence NoFap is fundamentally about taking responsibility for your responses on all levels. Something which not everyone is prepared to do, hence the constant resets( myself included).
    The greatest ally we can have during the NoFap process is our own personal 'means whereby' we can indirectly acheive our ends without reverting back to the old habit.

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