About to be 30 and still alone. Your opinion on how to solve that ?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Lesoldat, May 14, 2016.

  1. JesusGreen

    JesusGreen Fapstronaut

    A lot's already been said here already so I'll just point you to some good resources:
    - RSD Free Tour
    - RSDTyler
    - Valentino Kohen

    There are other great channels for teaching game out there but I personally like the RSD guys (Tyler and Julien especially) and Valentino because really they focus on the core essentials rather than little tricks/techniques and mind games and stuff. It makes it applicable even if you're not looking to do pickup but just want to be better around the girls you already know etc. Plus they hammer in the important stuff like: approach, approach, approach. etc.

    Check them out, you won't be disappointed. I suggest starting with Tyler's channel, his shorter older videos, then once you've watched most of those, check out Valentino and the Free Tour longer talks.

    Also, you mentioned being balding in an earlier post. So definitely check Tyler's channel first. As he constantly reminds us in his videos: If he can get plenty of women when he's short, balding, and ginger, so can you, however you look/are.

    Looks matter, but only at first. Also about 85% of looks isn't the looks you're born with - it's the other aspects of looks: hairstyle, how well kept your facial hair is, how well you dress, how nice you smell, how clean your teeth are, etc. Someone born with 10/10 looks can drop to a 3/10 or less if they take poor care of the other stuff, while someone who's only a 4/10 genetically can be more like an 8+ if they take care of everything else really well and have a suitable style for their face/body shape etc.

    As I said, looks matter.. but, only at first. They're the first impression. Think of it like a DVD. Looks == the cover art. Game/personality == the actual contents of the film, the reviews of the film you read before you buy it, the text on the box, etc.. While good cover art (looks) might make you pick up a DVD and check it out even though you hadn't heard of it before, a DVD can have terrible cover art and it's not going to stop you buying it if you've read great reviews about it. ;)
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2016
  2. that could be your problem.
     
  3. forget about sex? forget about porn? forget about that kind of girl friend? you must have good friends...maybe if you adjust your wants in a relationship? don't mean to be hard on you. just a suggestion.
     
  4. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    If I had my own house I'd be trying to take girls there every day
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2016
    TrueHuman likes this.
  5. Les_Brown

    Les_Brown Fapstronaut

    If you go out on the street and ask out the girls who display some sort of interest in you, you will go on more dates. However, at some point in your life, you will figure out what type of woman you actually want to be with for the rest of your life. This might happen tomorrow, or not for another 15 years. But, I promise you that it will happen. Once it does, you will be able to spot this type of woman when you're out in public, so you don't have to approach random girls.

    I also recommend two strategies for finding this woman once you know what you're looking for:
    1) If you have a hobby/favorite sport, find a way to make this a social event where you play with others that you don't know.
    2) If your current hobbies/sports do not allow for many interactions with women, then try to dabble in various activities that are slightly outside your comfort zone. For example, go hiking with a group of people you don't know, or try different dance classes.

    You are still young, so there is no need to get desperate enough to try online dating or local meet-ups for singles. Enjoy your youth and hook-up with as many women as you need to if that means abstaining from PMO because once you get married, you will make love to the same woman for the rest of your life.
     
  6. Lesoldat

    Lesoldat Fapstronaut

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    There's so many great advices here. Thank you guys.

    -L Coroneos: you seem to know where you're going that's huge.

    -G2Stop: In my humble opinion, objectification is when you just simply fantasize over a body, physical criteria. Attraction is probably more about a connexion between you and the girl on a spiritual plan that make's you confortable, enjoying and deserving to share more with the girl. what do you think guys ?

    -JesusGreen: I red a lot and watched many videos of the pickup artistry scene. Lastly i watched a lot about Johnny Berba but his channel is now turning into a frustrated chumps trap with about 100 videos talking the same thing over and over. Honestly i can't say which one offer the best and realistic advice, which one is not using comedian during their videos. Can you confirm that tyler durden, julien blanc and todd valentine aren't just selling a product ? How should i act ? Not to mention that the last time i used johnny berba piece of advice with direct it was a mixed success so i'm thinking about doing it more consistently. Thanks for the support anyway, i'll check on the videos you said very soon.

    -Yukon: What do you mean ? You think i'm too much focused on girls and sex is that right ?

    -Himmelstross: I'd love to have your mindset but as i said i don't know how to act. I have at the moment very few good buddies going out partying and stuff. Many of them i used to go out with i don't see them anymore. Why ? simply because i have no patience for bullshits, guys liying about their life, just to show off with everybody, judging you and put you down sometimes to seem bigger than you in front of other people, simply disrespect. This is no friends. I prefer to be alone then, it's harder but i have respect for myself and violence isn't the key even if i could easy break them legs.

    -Les Brown: True. I see your point and i think i can tell what kind of girl i'd love to share my life with. I thought about participating hobbies/sport where i can meet people, it's a good idea i'll give it a try. So you said dance ? what kind of others hobbies can help meeting people (and girls eventually) ? About PMO i'm on a right path again, i attempted 170~ days streak before i'm starting it all over again after few weeks binging. It's been 9 days i'm PMO free now.. It's harsh but i'll succeed. The last time i relapsed was mostly because i told myself "that's alright, i don't date women by now so i'll stop when i date one" Bad excuse i know.


    I'm so glad i joined this forum. This is gold there's so many great guys here. Thanks again
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2016
  7. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    I went cold approaching with a guy who followed RSD. He dressed like a slob, had terrible posture, as worried about other guys "mad dogging" him (staring contests or something, I don't even think about that) and always approached women by asking them wat time it was instead of just hitting on them. Everyone I know who gets laid dresses well, looks good and talks to lot lots of women (actually they can strike up a convo with anyone)
     
  8. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    TBH I didn't have that mindset until pretty recently. I'm 29 and I've been only dating for 2 or 3 months. Basically a friend who's really good at this stuff showed me how to hit on women and I finally went home with one last weekend. I don't actually party, I just spam the hell out of okcupid and cold approach women during the day.
     
    Lesoldat likes this.
  9. Lesoldat

    Lesoldat Fapstronaut

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    Good job ! We're the same age that's usefull to share our opinion. So the girl you met was during the day or online ?
     
  10. TrueHuman

    TrueHuman Fapstronaut

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    You just gatta get the balls to hit on women. Tell them what you really want and don't beat around the bush.
    Let them see the desire in your eyes and smile, let them know you want them.

    First I want you to admit your situation. You're 30 and afraid of girls.

    Now I want you to go out SOBER and hit on any women that you see. And I WANT you to get rejected. You need to experience what rejection feels like.
    I was once like you, I was in denial, but one day I said fuck it and just started hitting on girls and it was fun even if I didn't get them
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2016
  11. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    I met her online. She messaged me out of nowhere inviting me for a beer, I met her at a bar close to her place and an hour later we were fucking.
     
    Lesoldat likes this.
  12. Lesoldat

    Lesoldat Fapstronaut

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    Damnnnn, that was easy. Did you ever try in a supermarket ? i noticed there was many gorgeous girls there..
     
  13. Hotshot

    Hotshot Fapstronaut

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    Go where the women are. You work with men. That's not where you want to be.
     
  14. September

    September Fapstronaut

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    Mysuggestion is try some charity activities nearest to your town. Helping disabled people, feeding homeless, blood donation. That will benifit on itself and chances are you will meet a girl not only attractive but with a kind heart.
    Also I don't know the situationin in your country but I suppose you may find smth like this.
     
  15. pardaemma

    pardaemma Fapstronaut

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    Hey, another lady opinion here that nobody seems to have said before (sorry if you did, guys and girls!): dating sites! Not tinder, tinder is for hookups not relationships. I used OKCupid for about 4 years or so and I am so grateful I've met GREAT people there that I had short relationships with or even things that evolved into friendships! It's great that it is very personality-focused not looks focused. It is also free and you can sort out the ones that are very incompatible. I heard match.com is pretty good as well.
    As for approaching women on the street, for me personally the guy could be Johnny Depp, if he would approach me like that I'd just want him to fuck off.
    Try to talk to girls in a relaxed pressure free environment, at common activities. Be part of some NGO that organizez events. Maybe go into a group that does local trekking/hiking. Try to find a common activity that brings you together and makes you spend some quality time together. This way, even if it doesn't work out you still have a good experience out of it and since there are many people in the group you and the lady can move on to interacting with other people if the attraction is not reciprocal.
    Also, don't move in too soon after you met someone! Try to befriend them first in the group and then ask them to a 1 on 1 date, after a while of participating to a common activity.
    I hope I helped!
     
  16. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    @Lesoldat don't take this at face value, the responses I get are mixed and I've even got a few dates (I could get more if I was better looking). And looks still matter on okcupid. Not every woman will want to hook up but the only way to find the ones who will is to try to hook up.
     
  17. FindingAName

    FindingAName Banned User

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    go to parties and find drunk women, easy to pick up and easy to convince, problem solved
     
  18. AdLunaRex

    AdLunaRex Guest

    Wrong, wrong. The problem is that selfish people are successful while altruists sacrifice themselves for the good of others. You must break the chains of society for this. I'm so deep enchained with altruistic ideas that I can't escape my own trap.
    I never had an relation since 8 years ago and my situation won't change. It is like cancer you live with it until you die. You must punish people who hurt you repeatedly and reward people who help you, but you must communicate that openly, the punishment must be done quiet to avoid legal actions and revenge. So I know my weakness but I can't breack my mental block. That's my issue.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 17, 2017
  19. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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  20. AdLunaRex

    AdLunaRex Guest

    I don't need to buy or get something, this is my life AS IT IS. I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN. I just exist.
     

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