About to kill myself

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kund, Mar 28, 2019.

  1. Kund

    Kund Fapstronaut

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    I am 25 years old and i started masterbation while i was just 13 years old. I did not realize that i am addicted to masterbation untill i got married. I m having erectile dysfunction and even if i do sex with my wife with the help of some medicines for erection even then i don't get satisfaction. I also don't have desire for sex with my wife. I can get erection still while masturbation but unable to get erection while having sex with my wife. It feels like i am a dead man, like i fear to go to home and meet with wife. I don't have urge for sex. I want to kill myself, I want to die
     
  2. never again 4444

    never again 4444 New Fapstronaut

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    Man...I am really sorry to hear all that and hope you know it'll get better eventually. Look up, friend, and know that your blue skies are just around the corner; no matter what kind of crap you find yourself in. You are precious, so don't give up on life!✌
     
  3. Pastafazool

    Pastafazool Fapstronaut

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    Many of us have been exactly where you are, including myself.
    If you can pull this off, your problems will be resolved. Try not to worry about your wife in the meantime. She has alot to look forward to if you can achieve this. I'm 45 and never knew what my problem was until a few years ago. I wasted so much of my life horribly, disgustingly addicted to porn...
    After a week of no porn or wackin off, you should see a major difference in sex w your wife (assuming you still have those meds). I decided to keep having sex w my wife while doing this and sex has never been better (yes I still have to take pills but in time I know I won't).
    Otherwise, In almost a month of doing this, everything is starting to change; respect from my kids, wife, work, other men, etc etc. This is actually happening and I was very skeptical.
    You got a 20 year head start on me - imagine what you can accomplish and enjoy in your life...
     
    Kund likes this.
  4. changinguser

    changinguser Fapstronaut

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    Hello,
    Listen, I know there are many troubles but allow yourself to find another way. The demons that we carry deep inside ourselves are the true addiction. Not only porn, but also our fears, our despair, and lack of hope. Once we learn to let them go, we find a real change. There's always something that can be done, even when it doesn't seem that way. You can always find a new beginning and change things.
     
    Fenix Rising, Nugget9 and Kund like this.
  5. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    Hi Kund. YOU CAN KILL YOUR CONDITION WITHOUT KILLING YOURSELF. It's very important that you abstain from porn and masturbation for a period of time and allow your brain chemistry to heal. This may initially feel uncomfortable, and you will go through withdrawal. But as your brain heals you will return to a state in which you experience joy and fulfillment in your life without porn.
    Contemplating suicide is a serious condition and I really recommend you reach out to a health professional. They can help you detangle from the temporary condition you are currently in and teach you ways to resolve things that are contributing to depression, anxiety, or any possible mental health problem(s) you are experiencing. I lost my dad to suicide and it's a tragedy I wouldn't want anyone or their family to go through.

    You are not alone in feeling sick and scared about this. This community here is full of people who have been in the exact position you are in right now. Recovery is real. Please read the journals of others who have had success and start a journal of your own documenting your own battles, struggles, fears, gains and ultimate success. You will not only help yourself, you may help others along the way.

    I'm glad you're here asking for help. This community is amazing. We do this together!
     
    Nugget9, AspiringVitality and Kund like this.
  6. Kund

    Kund Fapstronaut

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    How i can recover qucikly? Although i have quit masterbation and porn things
     
  7. Pastafazool

    Pastafazool Fapstronaut

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    11 years is not that bad in comparison to a lot of folks out here.
    You could experience big changes by day 3, but typically it takes 5-7 days to really start to feel results.

    You have to stick to the plan, nomatter how much you're triggered to go back to old habits.
    Take walks, exercise, cold showers, etc. Get 9-10 hours of sleep if you can for now. It helped me a lot.
    I also drank more in the beginning which helped me some.
    Keep watching and motivational stories from all of these guys who have had success.
    That gives you a lot to look-forward to and helps keep you motivated.

    You got this shit man!! - Hell if you need to talk I'd be happy to do that. I'm sure many peeps would be happy to chat with you about this crap. Do whatever you have to do to stay strong.
     
    Nugget9 and Kund like this.
  8. Vir Rex

    Vir Rex Fapstronaut

    One of the ways I was able to stop masturbating was to come out to my brother, who I trust very much and is my best friend, about my vice. At first I thought he would be ashamed of me but instead he has joined me by becoming a Fapstronaut too.

    It won't be easy, but you might need to tell your wife about what you are going through. It will be a brutal talk but confession is one of the most powerful weapons against sin. On top of that, your wife can be your accountability partner and make sure that you don't relapse ever again.

    I also almost lost one of my good friends to suicide but was able to support him. If you commit suicide you won't be just hurting yourself but everyone else around you, especially your wife and your family. Life is a battle we fight until we die and every time we escape from the Shadow of Death we become stronger and live life to the fullest.

    It's a test you are enduring and you WILL survive! I'm rooting for you, brother!
     
    Pastafazool, Nugget9, Kund and 3 others like this.
  9. Kund

    Kund Fapstronaut

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  10. Kund

    Kund Fapstronaut

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    Almost how much time i will need to recover and have normal sex with my wife?
     
  11. swagzenegger

    swagzenegger Fapstronaut

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    guess what mate?
    we all feel like that. And be sure the reason is 1000% overmasturbation, If u wana have a hard bonner u gota get your energies up and dont unleash them on ejaculation, u gota light the masculine fire inside you again and dont extinguish it with masturbation. Its simple as that. we all on the same boat buddy. No body will stop you from killing yourself. the way I see it you got 2 options:
    1. kill yourself, if momentarly emotions and feelings drives you to these decissions its up to you
    2. start learning how to get out of this sh1thole, its your obstacle in life. pass it and you will be a firece man that cant be stoped at nothing, and when I say at nothing, I mean it, the more fire you build up, the more determined you will be, its up to you boss.
     
  12. Hello there,

    I am very sorry to see that you are struggling. Rebooting, as well as life in general, has its ups and downs. We see many people experience these downs during reboot, and although it might be hard to see now, time does heal all wounds. It will get better with time.

    In the meantime, I would suggest [posting this same message](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/submit?selftext=true) in [SuicideWatch](/r/suicidewatch) which is a helpful community of volunteers who are super helpful.

    They maintain a list of suicide hotline phone numbers for many countries. [Click here to see it](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines). Additionally, [here is a list](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/1c3p3z/helpful_resources_for_those_struggling_with/) of helpful resources for those considering suicide.

    You are not alone in this. There are ways to treat depression. Please contact people that can help you. Being depressed often makes it feel like you don’t have any more options. But that is a lie. That is just the depression talking. These feelings you have won’t last forever. We are in this together, and we will all be cheering for you to get through this.
     
    Pastafazool likes this.
  13. Listo8

    Listo8 Fapstronaut

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    It will pass dude. Give it time to recover It'll pass
     
  14. Vir Rex

    Vir Rex Fapstronaut

    Reboots, on average, are estimated to take around 90 days before the positive changes start to become permanent. Even a month long abstinence will change you dramatically in regards to your temptations. Since each man is different, it may take longer or shorter for you to be able to have sex with your wife "normally". But if you want long-lasting change and solve your ED, then porn must be banished from your life for good.

    Read more about the disastrous effects of Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction here: [https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...s/start-here-porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction/].
     
    Kund likes this.
  15. Kund

    Kund Fapstronaut

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    Dear, it really helped me. I m seeing hope now. Now i am confident that soon bad time will be over. Thank u very much for support
     
    Vir Rex likes this.

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