Abuse history, Sexual preference, attraction and same sex attraction...

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by BeachDude1992, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. So, this is it folks...I'm finally admitting to myself that I am totally into this Nofap thing. Ever since I started doing this, success has been coming good. Why? because I have a lot of energy to go to work, workout and look good ;), abs are coming from 26% Bodyfat to 12-13% body fat, I feel confident, social anxiety is less, and I am discovering myself/getting to know myself better. I've been able to hold conversations longer, but need to improve on it. I've made friends and lately I've been going out with friends.

    I've been silent about this, but I was sexually abused when I was around 10 yrs. old. It's now history but it has been haunting me like forever. It lead me to depression and PMO and recreational drugs was the only thing that relieved it...for awhile and it got worse, because drugs eventually will kill us slowly. I did ecstasy, MJ, coke, amphetamines, meth, apralzolams, and acid. Don't ever do drugs.. not even Marijuana (not a drug, in my opinion...an herb) but it is psychoactive and it alters your state of mind and you're not yourself when on it. (in my opinion). I found MJ to be a factor of social anxiety.
    Yes, I was abused by a guy (and I'm a guy) when I was 10 yrs old. To those of you who experienced sexual abuse, I am sorry for you! I truly am. I wish I could help because I know how hard it is.

    In this nofap experience, I found my inner self and finally admit that I am attracted to both guys and girls. (I've never been with a guy, but want to try it)...because some of them are really attractive, hot abs, nice butt, handsome face) I like those traits. I also like ladies! The booty, the personality, the curvy shape, eyes, etc....
    So what's wrong with being bi?

    Nothing at all. If you are holding yourself back from admitting yourself that you are bi, or gay...because of social or religious reasons, I respect that too...but all I can say is, it feels great to come out of the closet.
    I'm not too open about it to my folks at home and friends...

    PMO in my opinion is self abuse...I think it messes with your hormones and turn you effeminate..it sucks the hormones out of you and makes you limp to social interactions and makes you depressed.

    If you have something to say, please feel free to say anything here :)
     
  2. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    When did you start Nofap? Hardmode? Any relapses?
     
  3. october 20. relapses are like 16 times.
    hardmode was 32 days
     
  4. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe your sexual tastes will return to just women if you stop watching porn and fantasizing about guys. My boyfriend's did. I wouldn't say your bi maybe your mind is not rebooted. Hard to say really.
     
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  5. Rav70

    Rav70 Fapstronaut

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    If you are okay but so many people have gender identity issues because of porn use.
     
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  6. I stopped watching porn because I couldn't get an erection when having sex with a real woman. After stopping, I got an erection back. from a real woman. BUt I realized, I like guys too...like guys half naked in the gym showers! I get an erection from that. and I think some are really hoooot
     
  7. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Whatever floats your boat...

    It's the porn that creates illusions and make the real sex bland and vanilla. If you're a bisex, be it, but without the PMO lol!
     
  8. Saturdaze

    Saturdaze Fapstronaut

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    May I suggest going to a therapist for your abuse. You might look for someone who does EMDR as it speeds up the process a lot. You may say that the abuse isn't an issue, but I have found that my own abuse (though it wasn't in my face) was causing me problems. Just a suggestion.
     
    noonoon likes this.
  9. Yeah, I already did that. It was a lot of help
     
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  10. Saturdaze

    Saturdaze Fapstronaut

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    I also struggle with a same sex attraction. I have chosen to be celebate for life as I am a Christian and I don't think that that is what God has for me. Unfortunately my biggest struggle is with gay porn and I know that I am trying to fill up in my heart the things I didn't get from my dad. Of course it doesn't work so I am learning now how to deal with the pain of an emotionally abscent father without resorting to porn to fill the void.
     
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  11. Thisisntmyname

    Thisisntmyname Fapstronaut

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    I'm a straight male but the porn I started watching has warped my tastes. I fantasize about shemales and being a sissy. This thinking completly subsides when I'm not watching porn. When I am I think about being somebody's bitch. Porn does weird things to sexuality. Haven't made it to 90 days yet to see which are porn induced fantasy and what are real desires.

    Beachdude1992 good to hear that you know were you stand in terms of sexuality.
     
  12. Hey man, I think I know what you are talking about. The more you match porn the deeper and hardcore your preference is. I went from watching softcore, to hardcore over the years. It's quite sickening if I think about it. I'm on day 35 now.My confidence has built up so much I think it is easier for me to talk to women and I can actually feel less social anxiety when talking to them. I made a girl smile today by joking around and that's like the first time in 2 years.
     
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  13. David95

    David95 Fapstronaut

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    The best thing for me was separaring porn from sexuality. I know what its like to have sex with myself, but not what its like to be intimate with a real human being. My porn use, very gay, my sexuality? Who knows? It was awful trying to stop porn to prove to myself I'm straight. Now I can work on one thing at a time. Glad you know yourself better now!
     
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  14. Kinkster2016

    Kinkster2016 Fapstronaut

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    How do you know that about your bf ? Did he tell you that ? I always had lots of respect for guys willing to admit that to a girl. Im scared to even admit it to myself . How did you processed that information ? I always tought i will lose even the last ounce of masculinity and dignity i had left saying that to a girl. Im curious how a girl takes that news
     
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  15. Kinkster2016

    Kinkster2016 Fapstronaut

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    After how long did your pied go away ?
     
  16. Supermarron

    Supermarron Fapstronaut

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  17. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    That’s a great comment! Two up!
     
  18. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    I don’t know your sexual preference, but I do know that without a decent reboot ones sexuality can be out of control. I’d wait at least until you have a 90 day reboot before acting in any of these impulses. Some men here have REALLY regretted their pmo induced sexual exploration.
     
  19. Kinkster2016

    Kinkster2016 Fapstronaut

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    So after day 54 you had a normal intercourse and everything was like before ?
     

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