Acceptance is the hardest thing!

Here's a thread I've been wanting to do for a long time now, it's an issue that's really been praying on my mind.

When I initially started my nofap challenge, my goal was to free myself of porn and not necessarily masturbation. As I've been on this nofap journey, I now realize that I can no longer fap because of it's close association with porn and fantasy. Without porn there really is no point. What am I going to do, rub one out to a test pattern on a television screen.

Question: Is it possible for an individual to stay absolutely A sexual for the rest of their life without going insane?

As ugly as I am I'm never ever going to get laid!!! Hinch the user name male medusa, named for a being so ugly the one look could turn any living creature into stone. My 48+ years of total virginity can vouch for that. I've never come close to even kissing a girl (that might actually be a world's record in and of itself). I'm always hearing that the vows of celibacy catholic priests have to make is usually always broken in the first 3 years, because you just can't beat human nature. If they were as ugly as me they wouldn't have to take that vow, they'd just be celibate by default!

That's why I've been so depressed lately, I'm just now realizing that I'll never ever get to experience the type of sexual pleasure I've always dreamed of. "Can I take that to the grave with me?" I'm having such an incredibly hard time trying to wrap my brain around that.

The thing I find myself praying for most right now is for God or nature to transmute all this sexual energy into something productive. I'm not going back to porn that's for sure!