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Accepting myself

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by sunni123, Mar 31, 2017.

  1. sunni123

    sunni123 Fapstronaut

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    hello,

    I'm going through a very hard time right now. And it's not looking good with my actions and my relapses. I don't know how to accept myself. How to accept my faults and my weaknesses. How to stop punishing myself mentally for failing. I get overcomed by feelings of lonliness, and more than usual currently. I feel a bit lost, I've been inactive on this site for the last 3 weeks, barely talking to people on here who I used to talk to.

    This connection I have with porn seems like something that will never go away. I don't know how to help myself to fight back, and connect with something else that would give me happiness when I'm lonely.

    Currently in my life I have a lot of stress, with this divorce, child custody battle, not seeing my daughter in 6 weeks, not knowing if she'll ever remember me or grow attached to me as she did before. Thoughts of will I be a good father creep in, am I hopeless in this battle. I'm being slandered behind my back about pedophila, I am not like this. My ex is explaining to people that my addiction will lead me to this, just because it led me to prostitution... people are hearing terrible things that aren't true about me. I feel ostracized, again, from my peers. My bank account is getting nuked every month.

    Man, there is so much that is happening, my therapist is telling me to do damage control, and survive these next few weeks. I have been calm the entire time the past two months, more calm than most people when shit hits the fan. But I can feel the ground shake below me.

    Any thoughts or advice or whatever, stories, experiences. Just wanted to update everyone on my struggle. That at one point you think you are doing well; then the next it can turn quickly. I guess the lesson that I can learn here is, don't let that go in for too long. I jus hope it won't last for longer.
     
    Peetie22 likes this.
  2. Sixzeta

    Sixzeta Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes life can be very overwhelming and especially as an addiction. Our addiction loves to make us feel horrible so we look for our "medicine" which makes usense feel good for a moment and then worse. A journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. Just make it through today without using. It worked for me. All the other stuff will fall into place if u can get the chemistry in your brain normalized again. One day at a time. And today is the perfect day to start
     
  3. Mikey_Niner

    Mikey_Niner Fapstronaut

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    No kidding, if you haven't already, read the novel Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. If you make it through it all, it'll change your whole worldview.

    Most people hate her, I disagree with her on certain things, but she sure did know how to sell a philosophy. One of the very few literary pieces that you pick up, read, put down, and your entire life is changed.
     
  4. The Shadow Boxer

    The Shadow Boxer Fapstronaut

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    What you need is something to look forward to day in and day out. Something that you can work towards and go to sleep knowing that everything is going to be alright because you are that much closer to achieving what you want. What you need is to write down a good goal, you can make it go to something you really want in life or towards pushing yourself away from something you are fed up with. Using NoFap can help you towards this as every day you are getting closer to being that new person you want to be. It shows you have strength and that sense of accomplishment is a feeling you should never let go of. Believe in yourself, find that picture to the puzzle you are building and find that goal you want to meet. The best goals in my opinion are multilayered as in there are many different things you need to do to achieve it. This way as long as you work towards at least one part of it everyday and never give up it will make you a happy person.
     
  5. thedutchman

    thedutchman Fapstronaut

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    My brother had the same thing. I"ll give you the same advice i gave him. Do things that give you inner peace, strength and relax your urges. Read books, talk to new people, contact good friends, try to enjoy the little things like a bird and her nest.

    You know who you are, what you do. Also what tour capable of. Make this a classic positive story. Show them. Show them how awesome you are, that you do care, dress great, smile, care about your child. Dont let lies slay you. Keep your chin up. When you go for it they will see.

    You're not defined by your history but your future. Pron hurts you, it's cancer. It destroys every little precious thing you have. Don't let it beat you, you came to this world, you're still very welcome.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2017
    Broken jaw likes this.
  6. Sludge

    Sludge Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing. How long have you been rebooting? I would say it is crucial for you to keep things as simple as possible right now. Your number one focus needs to be your recovery because in the end, the only way you will be the father you want to be is if you continue healing. As far as the rest, just do the best you can and understand that you are only a human being. As long as you keep trying to do the next best thing don't beat yourself up. As far as the bs your ex is spreading..most people are smart enough to know that none of those things mean you are or are going to become a 'pedophile'. Now the other stuff she is saying I'm sure people will judge, but hey...you would be surprised how fast people forgive and forget as long as someone shows they are really making a change. Make that change and let your new self outshine the old. Think about it like this, once you get through all of this..you will never feel like life is hard again because you have already endured so much. You will come out the other side strong and wise beyond your years. Don't give up!
     
  7. Peetie22

    Peetie22 Fapstronaut

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    Wow, you are going through a very rough time. I will be praying for you and your situation. Probably the greatest benefit of my faith is forgiveness. When I can get out from under the shame by simply acknowledging I've screwed up and asking God for his forgiveness, I find this freedom to be amazing. Nofap is built on the concept of admitting our screw ups in a safe plance and by deciding to turn the other direction (repentance/behavior modification). They don't talk about forgiveness much, but it sure works for me. I wish you good luck, and grace.
     
  8. I cannot emphathize with you because I do not have similar experiences. But what I can say is, the tough times will always pass, no matter what...

    Stay strong brother.
     
    Peetie22 likes this.

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