Accountability for All

Day 1 is completed.

 

113 days no P
3 or 4 days no MO

first, I'm very happy about the 113 days .... never ever made it this far and I will go on forever.
but also, I've been feeling super unmotivated. the only activity that i want to do every day is working out. i really like being at the gym and using my energy on something physical that is healthy and rewarding. but other than that I don't want to do much (or anything else really), except maybe listen to music and watch youtube all day
even posting here feels like work...
whatever
keep going everyone! it's nice reading your posts

 

Relapsed day 4 to day 0.

 

Day 6
Peace ✌️

 

Congrats man, i can only hope to be there one day. You are doing amazingly well.

There is feeling of being unmotivated occasionally, we all have been there , but we have the power to get out of it. TRY bro, you can do it .

 

Day 4 Updates:
Evening
Had a test today. Wore an all black outfit like a hitman. Walked around the city center aimlessly for a long while afterwards.

I get stared at a lot because of my appearance (eyeliner, long hair). It feels unnerving.

It's been a busy week and so will the next few days. I'm glad I started NoFap when I did, as the first week is supposed to be particularly difficult.

Taking advantage of winter and doing cold showers, and frequent walks outside after meals. Can feel that my mood and energy levels are more stable from the cardio.

Everything is coming easy so far, but I'm not going to let my guard down and slip up.

Have two dates tomorrow, one with an ex, and another a new girl. There's always a chance of things being disappointing with someone new. Will just have to shrug it off if it is, watch some anime, pack my bags for the trip the day after. Listen to an audiobook.

Gonna get some hugs in tomorrow It's been inspiring reading all your posts. Keep going strong guys! Remember why you started.

 

Legit teared up watching the first few minutes of this @corylife

Elliott got me through some tough times back when I was a teen. Even got introduced to Wim Hof and breathwork through him. The whole bioenergetics thing is laughed off, but it's powerful stuff too.

BREATHE into your BALLS.

 

Hi brothers. I'm Jake. I'm 26 years old and I've been addicted to PMO since the age of 15. I've never been able to stop in these 11 years. Maybe a big part of why that is, is because I come from an unhappy home with an alcoholic father as well as loneliness. I'm working on a business for 2 years now and progress has been painfully slow and I have not much support. Back to porn, I remember watching porn on TV for the first time when I was a child while my father was black out drunk and ever since then I was fascinated. We always had people living in our homes and just before I was a teen I had a cousin living with me who taught me about sex and showed me porn. However, I only started masturbating at 15 and haven't been able to stop since. I've had COUNTLESS humiliating experiences because of this addiction, it's ruined my life in so many ways. I feel hopeless today, I feel as if death is my only way out of this, but I'm not suicidal.. it's just that, if the past 10 years have taught me anything, it's that It's been almost impossible for me to stop due to my plain weakness. I guess addiction runs in my family and it doesn't help that there's nobody to talk to.. just fuels the cycle. Today I relapsed twice in 1 day. For December I've relapsed 6 times already. Life has been miserable, with the only thing going great for me is training. I've achieved a good physique naturally but I guess in the end that means nothing. I'm all out of options now. I feel I've wasted all my life so far and I feel as if I'll never overcome this. I won't give up though. I really hope this thread and you guys support can help me because I don't think I can do this alone, that's what history has shown. So yeah.. 2 relapses today and tomorrow is a fresh start. I'll be active in this thread daily. All the best guys, and wish me luck. I surely will need it... edit: I've also been smoking weed everyday for 6 years now. Today is my first day sober off weed.. I have vices upon vices with even my phone being quite an addiction to me. So clearly, alot of work to be done.

 

@Jakes my guy. Thanks for sharing your experience. Give yourself credit for staying optimistic and making another attempt to better your situation despite all the setbacks.

You've gotta reclaim your relationship with your body bruv. Give yourself love and care. That's the only way your body will respect you and listen to you.

Eat good food, get adequate sleep, stay active, and cut out the junk. Take long luxurious showers. Breathe deeply.

Take the time out to try these positive changes and any others you can think of. And keep doing what makes you feel alive and happy.

We believe in you. Thanks for joining the thread.

 

Thank you @tivruh, really appreciate the motivating words. It's easy to be hard on myself when you consider that in 10 whole years I was unable to get it together. But I do feel as if there is change coming despite all the failure. Something within me tells me that.

I'm glad I found this thread, things won't be as lonely now, so that's good. Well, tomorrow is a new day and I do plan on making the most of it. I'm sick and tired of being weak now. Well, here's to new beginnings. Thank you again brother

 

Keep up that mindset, it's easy enough until you start to believe it's easy then the fap demons pull some straight savage guerilla warfare, the aftermath can be messy.

Colorful metaphor aside, vigilance is terribly helpful. You're doing good, you can do it.

One day at a time.

Day 5

Tired feeling good, at the moment. I have one picture of porn superimposed on my mind throughout the day, fully aware that's it's a gateway drug scenario. Very consistent and the intensity of the urge to quit is stronger during my workouts. After I'm done I feel better.

My exercise feels like an exorcism. During the first half to two thirds of my workout I am in pain, annoyed, distracted, tempted, and consumed by the urge to give up in one form or another. After the warm up period ranging from 15-40 minutes I feel good, capable, and refreshed. Sometimes the positive effects come in after I hop in the cold shower that follows, most of the time my mind gets a solid stretch of sweet serenity.

The serenity was paid for in pain, sweat, and the continuous effort to not give up my workout, fall over, or cave in and watch a crapload of porn.

Stay strong my fellow fapstronauts, solidarity my brothers in arms.

 

What's up guys. Currently 3AM here and I can't sleep because I have covid. I feel ok though, but this is around the time I usually relapse. Gonna read a book instead since I can't sleep. I've had enough of this misery of relapse. Truly have.

Also, I'm sick of a what a simp I've become because of it. Sick of getting rejected by women who are below me due to just always being in this weak mindset and not acting properly because of it. This is really is like a war on masculinity.

So it's day 1 for me, relapsed twice yesterday. Can't keep stressing about it though. Let's go boys, let's do this

 

Forget about relapse... That was the last one. Just stand up and run toward your destination

 

Hey guys Jonathan here! This is my first day here at the forums but I am currently on day 7 of battling my addiction and so far so good! Any inclination of an urge and I like to get out of the house and move around! Hopefully you guys can help with some more helpful tricks as I go towards my 30 day goal!

 

Congratulations on the progress. I'm sure you can make it.

Walks are my favorite urge repellent too. Along with the Nofap emergency button.

Beyond that, I guess I have a hard time doing chores because of ADHD... listening to an audiobook to avoid any unnecessary frustration. Need music at all times to sit down to work too.

 

22 days and I'm feeling so great in the past hours. Too much that today as soon as I was home alone I played Polaris by Deadmau5 and I couldn't stop dancing in my room HAHAHA it was so great, I wanted to continue no matter what.

Mmm I also had a mad moment with myself... I put myself in a trigerring online ambient again, and I lasted 30 minutes there * facepalm * I don't think I was edging because I didn't do anything special, but yeah the thoughts were there... so I quickly quit from that context, took a cold shower and, in my mad mood, recorded an audio for the future. I've been doing that, whenever I'm home alone and with urges, I open the audio recorder and start talking about my journey... everytime I feel optimistic, knowing that in the future I'll hear those audios and will feel proud of my decisions now, that are building my future there!

Alright, so let's continue... stay strong!

 

Day 1. Struggling with depression and obsession over a series of videos. I have so far managed to not give in but tomorrow and every day after that will continue being a challenge. At least I have a break from school coming up.

 

For sure bro

 

Stay strong. Remember that the break from school might make relapse a bit easier since you'll have nothing to do.

 

Day 9 check in