Accountability for All <UPDATED DAILY> <AWARDS>

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by corylife, Dec 22, 2019.

  1. Hello!
    After 47 days of no masturbation (and almost 3 months of no porn) I relapsed with M again, and well the most fair thing to do is to reset the counter... I regret yeah, a lot. But I'm learning, and won't ever give up, that's the important!!!

    Besides, I'm not very sad because I didn't give in to porn. It's horrible, I don't want to come back, in two days I'll be 3 months free of porn and life since then has been way better and different... there are other more important parts to work on right now, and I'm so glad I was able to get rid of that addiction relatively quickly. I still need to be careful, but I'll make it through whatever it takes!

    Thanks for reading me and stay strong everyone!
     
  2. Astronaut10

    Astronaut10 Fapstronaut

    Yesterday was a good day. I did get feeling of being watched but I won't let that control me.
     
  3. AD amazing

    AD amazing Fapstronaut

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    Day 22 in the list!! It was good I was studying hard because my exams are there in 2 days. But some overthinking and low dopamine distracts me but I get myself back and continued my work.
     
  4. On_The_Way

    On_The_Way Fapstronaut

    Day 58

    #total_new_habits = 8
    #days_of_new_habits = 29/40

    Grateful
    =====

    It is very easy with someone like "Wormtongue" in your mind to think high of yourself .. to think you are better than people .. to think you did it all by yourself .. to think "Oh I am over it .. I passed it .. I am safe from this addiction .. I am out .. Relax " .. then you need to remind yourself of facts to stay alert .. Wormtongue wants me to relax and to drop my guard .. to catch me .. oh no .. this is not happening .. there is this guy @WalktheLine who has a "yellow book" where he look at his past "screw-ups" for the last 20 years or so .. I guess I need some of that now .. I am an addict for 15 years .. or even more .. I screwed up many chances in my life .. I hurted my family members A LOT .. I made them cry out of despair .. I hurted myself .. body and soul .. I wasted money and effort .. I wasted the most precious thing .. time .. I wasted a lot of time .. I am over 30 .. there is no more time to waste .. no more .. life is short .. yes I am grateful I am here .. I am grateful to people around me who helped me .. I'm grateful for the people here who shared and are still sharing their sufferings everyday .. it is a strong reminder for me and all other people who are like me to stay alert and to have your guard on .. I am grateful that my regret is vanishing bit by bit .. I am grateful that diseases in the heart is fading away bit by bit .. I am grateful to be on this journey to explore my potential .. I am grateful to play a role in people's journeys around me .. but this is the talking .. and talking is not enough .. where is the "doing"? .. The "doing" of being grateful is to align my actions to these principles .. I can not be grateful if I relapse .. I can not be grateful if I gave in to this addiction .. I can not be grateful for the people here if I let them down .. I can not be grateful to my abilities if I do not use them .. and absolutely I can not be grateful to my time, if I do not use it wisely .. I will be grateful .. by talking .. and by doing ..

    # Refraining_is_my_dignity

    "Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair"


    [/QUOTE]
     
  5. ForceMaster

    ForceMaster Fapstronaut

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    [/QUOTE]
    Bro ! The worm tunge voice in the head is so on point ! Everything you said about being 30 and can't afford to waste any more time and letting go of the past and forgive is sooo relatable ! It's like you're mu dopple ganger living the same life situation in a parellale universe in the mirror reflection diminsioun , you wouldn't by any chance happen to be vegetarian or vegan and into medetation and likes nature , jogging , spiritual teachings , pop andd classical music , art , paintings , sculptures , historical monuments , travel , exploring ?
     
  6. Spreadlove

    Spreadlove Fapstronaut

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    In the past 116 days I have:

    * PMO'd 7 times but not fully relapsed
    * MO'd 1 time but not fully relapsed
    * Averaging 16.6 days on strict PMO nofap
    * 7 days straight nofap streak so far
     
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  7. Astronaut10

    Astronaut10 Fapstronaut

    Today is a new day.

    Goals today
    • Don't watch porn and masturbate.

    • When I am out and about only look at people for a split second and concentrate on what I am doing.
     
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  8. Leonflado

    Leonflado Fapstronaut

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    Day zero after a good few weeks again.
    No more excuses now.
    My number one life goal is to never even think of masturbating or fantasizing about sex again in my life. Fuck that disgusting shit forever. I'm done.
     
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  9. OMINI MAN

    OMINI MAN Fapstronaut

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  10. AD amazing

    AD amazing Fapstronaut

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    Day 23 in the list!! A good day a good vibe less overthinking more attempt to focus. Busy in studying for exam working hard to get good marks.
     
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  11. Astronaut10

    Astronaut10 Fapstronaut

  12. On_The_Way

    On_The_Way Fapstronaut

    Day 59

    #total_new_habits = 8
    #days_of_new_habits = 30/40

    Haste, difficulties and whatever
    ====================


    One of the extra burden that comes with the addiction package is that there is a haste for everything to be done .. I want to finish things fast without thinking deeply about it .. I want to eat fast .. but I do not enjoy it .. and I do not almost taste .. I want to finish this project or that task fast .. and if it did not go as I wish just for a split of second, the probability that I will leave it and go for sth else is very high .. I stop enjoying challenges .. I see difficulties everywhere .. Difficulty in sleep .. difficulty in making food .. difficulty and burden in laying with wife .. difficulty in reading sth .. difficulty in receiving guests .. difficulty in visiting friends or going out with them .. difficulty in working on anything that needs a bit effort .. difficulty on working on long-term goals .. difficulty in tolerating someone's bad mood .. difficulty in listening to sb's problems .. difficulty in praising others for their effort .. agitated most of the time and at edge waiting to explode .. full focus on what I will gain no matter what is happening for others .. even my goals go to lower levels .. from being a "good" human according to my metrics .. to earning money in whatever way regardless of my principles .. to having more relationships with other women no matter the grave consequences will be .. I find myself embodying the word "whatever" in my actions and my words and replies to people .. I just try to feel "good" and "relaxed" all the time .. I focus on my emotions .. I serve them .. I really become a servant to my emotions .. what they want, I put effort to get .. because I can not take it when they are not "happy" .. but it is not hard to imagine that this is not a good way of living .. not deep .. not fulfilling .. even all the pleasures I got during these periods, they turn ashes .. they do not leave any good impact on my life .. they have even a bitter taste just few moments after which lasts for a long time and trigger regret .. which makes you want to go to sth else seeking pleasure to cover the pain of regret and to change that taste .. but it just gets bitter even more .. why to put myself through this road? .. why to lose my freedom to my emotions ? .. I am their master .. they are not mine ..


    # Refraining_is_my_dignity

    "Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair"


    [/QUOTE]
     
    corylife, AD amazing and TheBluePrint like this.
  13. On_The_Way

    On_The_Way Fapstronaut

    That post made me really laugh! Thanks! Well, I guess yes you can consider me into all of these things although I am still doing poorly on being complete vegetarian. You can add to the list a complete addiction to books and courses. Though I am definitely not a fast reader or learner, I enjoy them a lot.

    I hope you are doing well in the other dimension ! :))

    Bro ! The worm tunge voice in the head is so on point ! Everything you said about being 30 and can't afford to waste any more time and letting go of the past and forgive is sooo relatable ! It's like you're mu dopple ganger living the same life situation in a parellale universe in the mirror reflection diminsioun , you wouldn't by any chance happen to be vegetarian or vegan and into medetation and likes nature , jogging , spiritual teachings , pop andd classical music , art , paintings , sculptures , historical monuments , travel , exploring ?[/QUOTE]
     
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  14. Spreadlove

    Spreadlove Fapstronaut

    191
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    In the past 117 days I have:

    * PMO'd 7 times but not fully relapsed
    * MO'd 1 time but not fully relapsed
    * Averaging 16.7 days on strict PMO nofap
    * 8 days straight nofap streak so far
     
    corylife, AD amazing and TheBluePrint like this.
  15. Spreadlove

    Spreadlove Fapstronaut

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    [/QUOTE]
    You are not a puppet to your emotions. You are a master of your emotions.

    Stay strong brother and remember there's always help out there if you need it ☺️.

    I am also someone who suffers with exactly what you go through. But together in this group we can be stronger and in a team.

    I sought a psycho therapist / psychiatrist for many years and this helped me through my issues. My life has changed forever now and I feel great.

    Just a thought?
     
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  16. Astronaut10

    Astronaut10 Fapstronaut

    Recovery is going great.
     
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  17. Astronaut10

    Astronaut10 Fapstronaut

    A situation happened this week. I am still sad about the situation but the goal is to eventually overcome it. Also my goal today is to not let the being watched thoughts control me and not make me relapse by watching porn and masturbating.
     
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  18. OMINI MAN

    OMINI MAN Fapstronaut

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    Day 17
    Morning was freaking terrible..... But surprisingly the whole day was Amzing
     
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  19. Astronaut10

    Astronaut10 Fapstronaut

    Gym session was great.
     
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