Accountability for All

Checkin'

 

checking in - Yesterday I had a mild relapse, on ticktock and on another website. I went to a shopping mall to approach some women but I was very depressed and not disciplined enough that I ended up not talking with anyone.

 

Day 70

yawns doing good trying for my two regular goals and two newer ones.

meeting no PMO study 5+ sleep 930


Mnss mass mass ok

meeting Sunday abstain from PMO study 5+ hours sleep by 930. MASS is my goal

 

Checking in - I'm not doing well because I'm sleep-deprived and horny. It seems like I can't sleep well anymore.

 

Thanks Interface. Appreciate it.

Here we go again for my next streak! When I get lazy with the rules I set for myself and give myself some slack / let my gaurd down because its been a long time (for me) since I relapsed, thats when I am the most vulnerable. Gotta keep my gaurd up all the time.

 

just checkin in,
trying to hustle and make money but parents won't open a bank account for me.

 

Day 71

I’ve been feeling sniffly lately. It’s just so cold. I’m gonna figure out the ideal setup for my rooms temperature and air flow now that it gets down below 60 in my room at night

 

Checkin'

 

Day 72

sleep was better last night. Planning to bust out the thick blanket now

 

Day 2.
Checking in
Didn’t have many triggers yesterday. Keeping the good fight on. You all got this!

 

Slipped up today. I feel like this can lead up to relapse to be honest.

 

A slip up may not be a relapse it does make a relapse a lot more likely, it's like turning all the muscle you grew from exercise into fat overnight but you still try to lift the same weight in the morning.

Day 3
Clean so far, trying to keep it up.

 

Checking in - I'm really having a hard time falling asleep, I'm not sleeping well and I'm not reviewing my notes about quitting porn addiction anymore. I have to much things to do.

 

Relapsed....

 

Day 73

seem to be recovering well. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ??????? Light exercise today. Sleep hygiene and trackings working . So is making friends

 

Day 74

I’m getting better at plying it safe and taking it easy. One step one day at a time.

gets cold at night these days. I’ll maybe put on another blanket .

gonna relax today and order groceries. Probably just read watch tv . I kinda want to exercise but not sure yet

 

Day 75

I think imma stay home today. Not go to the hangout . Sighs that makes me a sad ZenYogi. It’s the safest play though. I wanna be responsible. And not overtax myself by going.

idk I may go . We’ll see how I’m doing around two. White elephant. I could get a cool gift. I’ll have my n95 on too.

Trying to get that study time in. And yoga time. All about that yoga . I need to get back into my no red meat diet. Red meat is no good for my waistline. Ah time to get used to chicken Turkey and fish again haha

I’d love to drop by lotte. That’d be nice. I guess I can hit up Walmart next week. To return the sheets. And get groceries.

I’m looking forward to upper yoga day today. I train in the evening too if I have time. I’ll get in on some splits and cardio <3

 

Hang in there everyone! Checking in.

 

Relapsed badly today

 

Day 77

Recovery go. yea. tired today it's okay. I'll be alright. Ill do better with what I'm doing to keep myself doing good.

I........re-purchased 30lb dumbbells. Agh. I didn't want to but I couldn't resist. I just really wanted to get bigger. I don't have to be huge. But just a little bit bigger and more muscle would be nice. I'm about 170lbs now if I could be 175 or even 180 that'd be perfect. Yeah. I'd like that. The thickness.

I don't think I'll come around to my weight vest. I might wanna just sell it. It always makes my traps feel uncomfortable. Maybe I'll just stick with the dumbbells. They can actually add more weight to leg workouts than the vest if you bulgarian squat 60lbs. Cora's friend is into rucking so maybe I sell him the vest for $50. Sounds good to me.

I could use $50. But I don't use the vest. good deal for everyone.

Okay I'll part with it. siez

I'm gonna happily stay parted with powerlifting though. That barbell stuff was fun but I dont have the time and energy to spare for it. I'm too invested in my yoga and rowing lol. I just hope adding dumbbells to my calisthenics is enough to get me up to that 175lb marker. I will need to eat more. Better buy some protein bars. MUAHAHAHA I'm gonna get a bunch of pre-made protein shakes too. (using my mom's generously donated costco money). I like the vegan ones, they have veggies mixed in C:

mehehehehehehheheheheheheehhehehe using the card to buy protein shakes yayeeee

Gonna eat a bar now