Accountability for All

I dreamt about relapsing ,it was a nightmare

 

day 10 and keep going towards freedom

 

Hey, hey, hey! Day 1!
Up this early cause I slept basically all day yesterday after I relapsed. Sapped like all my energy. Anyways, let's do this!

 

So after 3 days of no PMO i relapsed last night, my goal initially was no P but was doing no PMO all along until last night. That was my first ever streak after i joined this community, now my goal is to go 6 days without it, with the communities help i feel motivated to not let you guys and myself down on this journey and that keeps me on focus.

Day 0
Feeling super tired after the relapse, however i'm feeling super neutral atm as well. Usually i feel angry depressed anxious etc.. This symptoms are yet to show since i just woke up i don't have any goals for today or motivation so i guess that's part of the relapse, so far so good, will update later.

 

Day 13 is here folks!

 

Day 3 down boys

 

Day 2

 

Day seven finally here, let’s move on to day eight and stop fooling around. Why waste time fapping your life away when you could be youthful and vibrant with the pure energy within, but instead we grow more disillusioned and hardened with each passing fap. I will never become that person, I will never give in to the worlds stupid fap laced advice.

 

Yo. I messed up last night and relapsed. So Day 1 again. I feel good though, I just woke from a great dream where I met the one and only Terry Crews, as I'm sure you all are aware he's a recovering addict from porn. We talked about intermittent fasting and he showed me this post on reddit about porn addiction and stuff, I know I didn't actually meet him but it was cool nonetheless.
I wasn't going to tell you guys I fucked up again because I'm embarrassed and ashamed. But, whatever, I'm going to mess up, the important thing is to never give up.

 

I’m beginning to realize confessing each and every relapse and reset is how I’m going to get out of the black hole.

 

Day 1 from tommorow
will be posting daily

 

Day 40
Starting to feel less aggressive and less awful about myself. Sucks that I gotta stay inside though. At least I learned how to play Don't Fear The Reaper and Vapour Trails on Guitar so it's not all negative

 

Relapsed today. Being at home so much is tough. I almost pulled out of it but then I just fell apart. Back at it again

 

Day 14. It's now been 2 solid weeks since my last PMO. Feeling pretty good. I'm 25% done completing my goal of 60 Days PMO. A fat chunk of solid progress. Thanks guys

 

relapsed back at day 1

 

Right so i relapsed last night i was 1 day into no PMO i don't know what happened, since i was stuck at home i managed to convince myself to do a quick one since i cant to leave my house to communicate with anyone or do anything, uni work from home gym closed etc... It sucks.
However i woke up today pretty neutral again, but i can really feel not being in the mood to do anything all day just sit in my chair play games and eat all day to keep my dopamine levels up, im staying positive doe. Bein part of this community helps my confidence on this challenge and wanna stay strong for the upcoming days, let's go out there and be kings!!

 

I M'd a week or 2 ago and Idk I can say off my adhd meds is a huge ride. I started browsing r bodybuilding for advice to get back into what originally i started at 17 as more of a fun hobby, in spite of the risk of seeing a muscular women and seeing unrealistic standards in general, but excessively muscular women really dont interest me at all anymore. Old fetishes like that are slowly becoming more repulsive to me. Like I don't constantly think of that or heavy girls anymore at all. The minute I see it I scroll as fast as I can. And if it's in public, I dont let it bother me. I feel more attracted to real people I see in stores, and I don't know what it is, but somehow I think not taking my medicine which includes an antidepressant affects my thought somehow. I think of taking extremely stupid risks like injecting steroids or virtually anything to get to the top. Mood swings and wildness were always super real off this and a hard time focusing

For whatever reason, I feel a lot more stress and desire to just wack it sometimes, but I also feel like taking huge gambles like the above mention of taking steroids. But I think what separates the ordinary from the extraordinary is the willingness to take those risks. Afterall, that's probably why tons of people look up to The Rock.