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Accountability for All

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by corylife, Dec 22, 2019.

  1. corylife

    corylife Fapstronaut
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    im starting to think I have no self control. relapsed today.
     
  2. HaveAMiceDay

    HaveAMiceDay Fapstronaut

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    self control is literally like a muscle you have to exercise it all the time to go stronger. use self control in little things even TINY things like making your bed or brushing your teeth twice a day that way it will be exercised for hard things like a urge
     
    corylife, Rosamund and yrjyrj like this.
  3. ThisSideThatSide

    ThisSideThatSide Fapstronaut

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    cmon bro, you know you got this. you've done much better in the past. what's stopping you now?
     
  4. HaveAMiceDay

    HaveAMiceDay Fapstronaut

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    its weird how habits form, i am so used to instant gratification i can see why people get depressed with their flatlines. im telling my brain no to something it still really wants to do. hope you’re doing well guys. im getting through this cause i know yall are too!
     
  5. ThisSideThatSide

    ThisSideThatSide Fapstronaut

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    just hang on for enough time, and nofap will be your default go-to when you get an urge.
    habits form with time, give it time.
    you're doing good bro, the first two weeks are the most difficult, keep fighting!
     
  6. HaveAMiceDay

    HaveAMiceDay Fapstronaut

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    how are you doing man? everything going smooth on your end?
     
    corylife and yrjyrj like this.
  7. willingness_to_change

    willingness_to_change Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys!

    I'm gonna come here daily to give you guys support, and hope some of you can do the same for me. Long story short, i'm 27 and been struggling with this for a couple of years... best streak being about 90 days, but it didn't even feel like it, because i was so depressed back then (i've actually felt better during 40-ish days streaks) -- goes to show how important it is to keep taking care of yourself, not just abstaining while creating other compulsive behaviors. In my opinion, accountability and reading people's journals and stuff here (instead of browing reddit, instagram and stuff like that) is a key component for quitting, alongside daily self-talk meditation and checking the day that you're on every day.

    I'm on day 2... relapsed after a 32 days streak, but i'm glad that it was just a relatively short session with 1 orgasm. Biggest lesson i've learned after all these failures?

    1. Don't try to change other big things in your life. Not watching porn by itself already demands huge amounts of effort and mental energy.

    2. Don't try to rely on willpower alone; know the patterns that lead you to relapse, have a plan, and stick to it every day, at least until you reach 3 months, because we have this tendency of forgetting about the process of quitting porn when we're doing well for a while. But when a craving hits hard, you'll immediately go into auto-pilot and relapse before you even realize it.

    Hope we can make it together, cheers!
     
  8. HaveAMiceDay

    HaveAMiceDay Fapstronaut

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    thanks for sharing your story here for you! i agree with the big changes rule cause your brain will get worn out. and i am quite active here because as you said my willpower is what i tried using for years and yet here i am, so i try to be very active in communities and hold myself accountable! keep it up
     
  9. 742

    742 Fapstronaut

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    HERE WE GO! IM HERE ALSO!
    THE SWORDS ARE RAISED AND THE WAR HAS BEGUN IN TIME.
    YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME PORN, YOU ARE DEAD!
     
  10. HaveAMiceDay

    HaveAMiceDay Fapstronaut

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    hell yeah! lets gooooo
     
    yrjyrj and willingness_to_change like this.
  11. ThisSideThatSide

    ThisSideThatSide Fapstronaut

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    i'm doing good bro! thanks for asking.
     
  12. ForceMaster

    ForceMaster Fapstronaut

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    WoW Thanks Brother for this insightful Knowledge , you draw my attention to a ver very VERY important point that i did forgot about , that we should stick to the strict system that we conduct and not gey caky after a while because that's exactly how we fuck up we let our gaurd down after a while of things going smoothely and the urges get us at the most vulnurable moment like for example late at night after eating food and watching a violent film , at that situation not only that we let our gaurd down as we stopped taking the system or tecniques too seriously , but also the internal state of being is low and unconsious as after eating the focus is not at it's peak and ofcourse consuming violent content generates anxiety and irritation and other negative emotions wich all that can easily lead to rationalization of watching like some bikini model pics then nude pics then Bang actual porn content , all of that happens like you said automaticlly before we even become aware that we have already relapsed mentally like 2 hours ago and that we've ben teleported mentally into this hypnotic trance state , that in it we have no control over our behaviours , the thing with fucking porn and masturbation is that the negative damadging consiquinces are not immedietlly and visiblly apperant , like ofcourse the deppression and shame and emotional pain and suffering and even in a lot of cases physical agitation and irritation that's visibal instantly and on the spot right after orgasming , but to most of us all those immediate negative effects unfortuanatly is not a scary or damadgeing enough for us to catogorise porn as leathal like enjicting heroien needle in our arm , i can bet that 99.99% of porn addicts on this platform and even all over the world , probobly and most liekley has no "External" drug addiction like heroien or crack- cokain , but the indulgunce in porn to many of us still dosen't feel fatal and deadly enough for us to simply just drop it and avoid it as if it's a matter of life or death , ofcourse there are many many MANY reasons of why it's really challenging to simply just say enough is enough and simply just dropping it once and for all , specially difficult for people who's ben doing it for years , there are nuorological , mental emotional ,and pysichal undeniable aspects to this horrific addiction , not to mention that it's linked to the most plesurable basic instinctual biological drive to have sex and reproduce, i personally precieve porn and masturbation as drinking rat poison , for real , i precieve it as if i even mentally relapse and started imagining porn clips or imagery in my head from the remains of that filth in my brain , that i would immdielly pyhischlly die , like in some si-fi movies where they have a chip in thier brain and it can explode or thier whole body can deactivate by doing a cerian thing , and in reality it's actually no different than that , like just imagining my self at 60 or 70 years old sitting infront of the computer and still wanking to porn while life has passed me by and i didn't value or honor the gift of life that i was given and "Blew" it away , that visualization alones sends chillz down my spine and make my knees shake , because as knowing myself very well , i know the deep heavy feelings of guilt and shame and agony that i would feel in that situation , and that is alot similar and not any different than pysichal death , it's emtotional death , and atleast when one relapse now while he still got some years left in his life , there is always a chanse to get back up and take charge of life and creat something with it that would make us proud on our death bed , but unfortunaly when the time passes (and it WILL pass eaither way) in that horribale situation with the old man still addictict to this evil inhumane substance then at that time there will be no turning back , you can't turn back clock at that situation it's over , even if by some sort of divine miracle that that old person did recover at that age at 70 years old and really never consumped porn or masturbated and finally overcame the addiction , it would be too late for him to make anything of his life and he would still feel horribal and guilty having wasted his life away , so probobly by then the most thing that he's gonna wanna do is return back to the same old numbing habit to eas up the pain , as he reationalizes it that it dosen't realy matter now at his age and that he already fucked up his life, and that he has no time left to accomplish anything big in life, and that he has nothing to loose so might as well feel alittle buzz of fleeting plesure ! i wish however read this truley overcome this crippling addiction from the bottom of my heart , i honelty wish that porn didn't exist , i wonder what life and our modern day society would like , like any sexual activity you wanted to do would have to be with a real human female that you made an effore to talk to and build a connection with ! Peace Brothers :emoji_blush:
     
  13. willingness_to_change

    willingness_to_change Fapstronaut

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    Day 3!

    Right on, man! But for some people, quitting porn is not for the sake of having a meaningful life, but just living it to the fullest, you know? Very true the thing about being old and still being addicted to porn... i think that imagining yourself older (maybe not that old, because when you're like 70 your libido will prob be non existent lol) and still jacking off to porn and being in the same place can be a great exercise to instill fear in us of remaining in this addicition.
     
  14. HaveAMiceDay

    HaveAMiceDay Fapstronaut

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    i agree! that a terrifying thought :eek:
     
  15. 742

    742 Fapstronaut

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    so here we go guys.
    the hours of the night are coming and thoughts are coming to mind. I need to be clear with myself: NEVER MORE PMO!
     
  16. willingness_to_change

    willingness_to_change Fapstronaut

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    Day 4!

    Indeed it is man, but you can do it! Just remember, willpower alone is not enough! Talk to your emotional self as if it were a different person, sit with your emotions for a while... be understanding to him but also be firm and tell him that you understand that he feels that way, but watching porn is a terrible idea for XYZ reasons and that you guys are gonna take a walk, listen to some music etc instead (all this through a journal... then go and do it -- something easy keep in mind).
     
    HaveAMiceDay, corylife and yrjyrj like this.
  17. ForceMaster

    ForceMaster Fapstronaut

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    LoL for Real Brother, the more the darkness increaces in this world also the more light increaces , the end times are near , i can feel it , humanity is very close to reaching a certian point where something that we crerated and made it subserviant to us will turn on us and be our annhillation !
     
  18. ThisSideThatSide

    ThisSideThatSide Fapstronaut

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    yeah man, mankind will destroy mankind..
     
  19. Steveal3aneef1

    Steveal3aneef1 Fapstronaut

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    sup yall, I just passed by to say hello to warriors and also discuss one thing about the recovery journey.
    I have this quote that pops up every time I'm about to learn or take advice for something new and that quote is "don't be a follower, be a student" - Jim Rohn, which applies in our PMO recovery journey where we seek new ways and ideas that might help us move forward. I realized that not everything said and suggested by others will work for me and we are the judges after all to implement the ideas we get every day from others.
     
  20. Emma25

    Emma25 New Fapstronaut

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    YES BRO YOU GOT THIS, I’m in day2 and I usually get the urge to Jerk off every night before i sleep. Normally I’ll scroll into Instagram and admire sexy ladies then it propels me into porn sites then that leads to jerking off.

    but now I come on the Nofab site instead to read others post, comment, encourage others. Feel good for encouraging other in this struggle. I take that great feeling to bed.

    I hope this post helps someone.
     

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