Accountability for All

Checkin'. Urges bulged up on me again yesterday when i surfing the internet. I am going back to hostel far away from home. I have already overstayed my welcome for additional number of days so i have backlog of college studies left. I was feeling very anxious and depressed so i was constantly holding on to the pattern of escaping my situation, through binging the internet. I still am. It just sucks going back to college :|
I am not sure i ever made the right decision to go so far away from home to graduate, if i would have known i was an addict. Bc it simply becomes so much insecure and anti social.

 

Congratulations on getting so close your goal. Congratulations to Lula too.

 

I appreciate that, man.

 

It seems like you`ve been through a lot, I hope you can improve your overall well-being. Don`t give up.

 

Checking in - I`m still making progress with my social abilities, I want to reach the point where I can approach girls in public anytime I want. That challenge will be tough for me, so I invested even more in this goal. I paid for a mentorship.

Wish me, luck guys, I will need it.

 

Day 39

im getting back into the insight timer app. Is chill and free.

meh work and life is ups and downs in the short term. So Long as I stay sober it’s always up over time in the long term

been doing 3 exercises a day upper lower split four day a week. Feels good so far. At some point it may not be enough for me and I’ll go for more. It’s already creeping in and I’m thinking about doing an elbow lever for one set to start the workout today

that’s the easiest skill I know of and the one I can do most fully and easily

I do about 150 push ups 50 chin ups and 70 v ups yesterday. Twas a workout to remember

got to bed at ten last night das mah gruel

Same aim tonight

“The arrow hitting the mark is the result of a thousand missed shots.” -Zen Sayain

I’m gonna return some stuff to Wally World and get a mold proof shower curtain off yamazon

forget Walmart I been around there long enough .

Time to move on need to let go can’t keep hurting thought you should know

 

Had some heavy-ish triggers yesterday. Thankfully I didn’t relapse. Used video games to distract me and tried to sing/pray it away.

 

Checkin'!

 

Checking in - I`m doing great.

 

Checkin'. Was triggered badly in front of the public when i was reading a book while travelling back to hostel. It's an awkward situation right now but i think non reactivity can be more than enough. It will come and go

 

Day 40

non ejaculatory sex is a challenge. Gotta be humble and take breaks from sex if I’m getting too close. Ultimately if it works I can have both good sex and semen retention

today till five hm. I’d like to study 30mins while gf trains. And eat some food. Healthy food. We’ll get takeout somewhere near the venue I’ll look it up with her beforehand to plan

it’s my first weekend where I’m gonna try to rest both days. Been recovering for months from overtraining but as I do more three day rest weeks and keep my sleep hygiene I’ll be recovering a lotta energy

rest is important

looking forward to my four workout days next week. Invisible jump rope 10-20mins will suffice for my cardio craving

I’m aversive to the word horny I avoid saying it. It’s not a swear though maybe I can try to use it

Get good rest everyone don’t suffer from fatigue like me S2

 

Wow props to you! That sounds like a challenege.

Same as yesterday, I had some heavy triggers. But thankfully I didn’t follow! I feel like this doesn’t need to be said, but just for me - even looking porn keywords up just for fun to prove to myself my internet filter is working is a trigger. Because that would usually be the beginning of a pathway to relapse before, so that neural pathway is still their and unfortunately still strong.

 

Checkin'. Had a wet dream yesterday of me relapsing.

 

Checking in -Yesterday I almost relapsed because I was overtired when I got home. So instead of relapsing, I took a nap. I mean, it turns out I slept again and only woke at the beginning of the evening.

 

This is a great thread that I found.Kudos to the creator and the contributors who are not only helping themselves to quit but also helping others in their journey.I have been in nofap journey since 4 years now..sometime successful and most of the time failed but I refuse to give up.This is my day 0.This is most difficult phase of my nofap journey.After being quite successful in this journey I succumbed to pressure and stress of life and came back to pmo about 2 years ago.I haven't been able to go beyond 2 days for quite sometime but my latest streak lasted 5 days.I know it's very small but it's a win for me as I continue my war with this demon
I wish all the best to everyone in this forum and will continue to help myself and others to overcome this addiction

 

Hey guys, new to the thread, iv been seeking a group just like this for awhile and am glad I found this one, I haven't made it past a streak of a week so I'm hoping being here and seeing yalls stories as they happen help me make mine.

 

Mantal Chia has a good book on semen retention. If you are not doing it already try out the power lock technique and implement it into your daily routine, it's a basic foundational exercise for sex without ejaculation.

PDF here -> Mantak Chia pdf

 

I know what you’re talking about thanks for the reference and link. I was reading Mantak multiprgasmic man and other titles. I may checkout the power lock again

 

Definitely a good idea to let that neural groove lay dormant . I’ve dealt with the same

 

Day 41

life is good when you maintain your steak . Not perfect unfortunately heh.

maybe that power lock thing will help. Mostly I just don’t worry about O happening. Though I usually try to keep the SR going.

I’m getting better at gauging how much I can do before I need a break. My gf is very nice about it and doesn’t mind if I want to stop for a while and continue in a bit

she likes watching stuff with me. We’re doing non anime stuff right now which is good too. I don’t think I’ll leave anime genre tho. I’m looking for more comedy and romance to watch with Cora.

been doing more Zazen lately. A brief handout on mindfulness practice by Jon zin was really helpful as it said to do 15-30mins a day as a goal but any amount is still good

back to practicing non ejaculatory sex I guess. Maybe I’ll do the power lock and three fingers reteograde technique as needed