Accountability for All

Day 647

My girl had to go to the optician and wanted to go by bus. However, as the busses didn't go because of the weather, I picked her up and brought her to her appointment.

Workout: day 541
Did 25 push ups and did push ups before my toilet visits. It was a rest day concerning my workouts and I jogged for 6 minutes.

Walking: day 550
Took a walk across the city for 45 minutes in the morning/afternoon and took a 20 mij walk with my girl in the evening.

Screentime: day 550
Total screentime on my smartphone yesterday was 1:06 from which 0:41 hours on Whatsapp (apping/calling with my girl) and 0:10 hours on the Internet (responded on NoFap)

Lying: day 101
Ask questions when speaking with your girl. It is easy to go into your normal way of talking, but open up the convo by asking her genuine questions in NVC style.

Meditation: day 647
Meditated for 25 minutes

Language learning: day 208
I did 6 sentences and book study again!

PMO study: day 647
Read in NVC a language of life, about the vulnerability we feel about sharing our feelings. The writer, however, names numerous example where stating his feelings in an NVC way helped him to make a connection with the people that were present.

Sleep: day 505
Slept at 10:30 PM. Still a bit sleepy.

Healthy eating: day 505
Weighed myself at 93,8 kg. Had two small cookies, so I cheated on my sugar day a little bit. My girl and I ate chicken, rice and salad for dinner.

Cold showers: day 540
I took 1 lukewarm and 1 warm shower.
 
5 days PMO/fantasies free, so happy

After ~ 4 weeks of excessive unhealthy eating, for the first time in 3+ years, I gain 10 KG. Fortunately, it seems that I find a good way to control eating, eat tiny meals very mindfully only if hungry . it works like magic for the last 4 days.
No more eating urges, I just eat a tiny meal when I actually feel hunger (almost forget how it feels), it's so satisfying.

Still, generally angry and in revenge/conflict mental state.. I know how to trigger this, not sure if it's healthy on the long term but it does help me significantly.. maybe because it gives me distraction from other bad habits but also a lot of energy and motivation to take action and to keep trying to recover.

Urge surfing does work for me for a variety of urges.

I have energy and motivation but not effective .. somehow i waste a lot of time even after quitting the bad habits, somehow making no really progress
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morning habits
jumped out of bed
~ 10 cardio
4 min cold shower
10 min sunlight exposure/ gratitude
20 min reading

mindfulness/self-awareness
very good journaling, I am enjoying this
12+ min of guided meditation
regular tiny sessions of meditations
practice urge surfing a lot

learning
2 h of focused learning studying psychology, It enthuses me.
that's it, i still waste a lot of time somehow despite having the energy

screen
not measuring my screen time but significantly less than usual, < 6 h
I have nothing to do in the evening, sitting alone, feeling mostly bad, so a lot of sitting and watching stuff, must change.

relations
had a conversation with my father, very rare. we don't talk. it was ok. but clearly we have different goals.
back to talk to mom.


sleep habits
not so good
i binge watch a series of episodes and did none of my goals
 
Hello
I walked few, today in sunlight
Sleep got improved around 8,3 hours
I woke up 1 time in night.
Little energy was recharged.Little rest.
Midle physical and mental energy.
A little cold symptoms today


Mental health
Well, it hasn't improved at all.

Anxiety
No anxiety attack,at moment.

Mood
There was no positive mood change.

Strong urges.
No urges.

Weight Control
72,0 kg

Healthy Food
Ending day without wheat and sugar
Only natural foods.
No much industrialized, overprocessed foods.

Just one more day
 
blue-sky-900 said:
I thought about how we also have control over the feeling of boredom?
Thinking of ideas.
What to do when this happens,
Read a book, do something outside of electronics, do something good, socialize, etc... There has to be something we can do, away from screens.
Click to expand...
Or the most uncomfortable way - just accept feeling of boredom and don't do anything with it.
Simply stay and meditate on this feeling :)
 
JoeBimbo said:
Thank god you're okay. However it sucks that your car is totaled. You have expressed earlier your financial situation and how that has given you triggers in the past. Having your car totaled doesn't help, but perhaps can be seen as hardship that you have gone through. Your car is totaled, but you didn't relapse! And this is progress!.
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Thank you for the concern and the perspective! It's true the more that one survives the more one can look back and affirm their resilience and capacity to get through


As always, your encouragement is appreciated; and I am glad to see that you are continuing to progress on your journey! Some 600 day+ streaks, great inspo for us!!

Chrispl said:
Day 75, Sunday 11:37 am
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Damn, go off brother, you killing it

Warren Peace said:
Day 2

Not giving up. Focused on today and that’s it.
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We're in the same boat and we can do it, one day at a time, we got this

blue-sky-900 said:
Hello
I walked few, today in sunlight
Sleep got improved around 8,3 hours
I woke up 1 time in night.
Little energy was recharged.Little rest.
Midle physical and mental energy.
A little cold symptoms today
Click to expand...

Glad that you're sleeping better, hope the energy follows
 
Kedre said:
Day 35/1000 of no porn.... The whole night yesterday sleep is not came and porn scenes are playing in my mind very tempting.... Really near a weak moment.. I thought I would open but this website helped me...
Click to expand...
Great that this website helped you to prevent relapse. I see that you had 35 no-PMO days and I think that is very impressive. In the past, I would do PMO in bed if my telephone is on my nightstand. Perhaps you can put your phone somewhere else so that you are not tempted.
 
Day 648

My girl was in self pity land yesterday. She spent the whole day in bed and had aches and pains. I spoke to her and tried to make her feel better. Luckily, pizza almost always seems to hit the spot for her.

Workout: day 542
It was a rest day.

Walking: day 551
Took two walks of 37 min. I have promoted myself to walking 38 minutes from now on! Excited to try this out.

Screentime: day 551
Total screentime on my smartphone yesterday was 4:05 from which 3:07 hours on Whatsapp (apping/calling with my girl) and 0:20 hours on the Internet (responded on NoFap, ordering pizza for my girl)

Lying: day 102
Speak neutrally to your girl. Say what has to be said and take responsibility for your feelings. This is one of the core tenets of NVC.

Meditation: day 648
Meditated for 30 minutes

Language learning: day 209
I did 6 sentences, but no book study. Today again.

PMO study: day 648
Read in NVC a language of life, about observing the life around us. We usually assess and evaluate everything and everyone around us and it is therefore quite difficult to only observe.

Sleep: day 506
Slept at 10:45 PM. Still a bit sleepy, because I think I'm snoring.

Healthy eating: day 506
Weighed myself at 93,8 kg again. Had pizza for dinner.

Cold showers: day 541
I took 1 lukewarm and 1 warm shower.
 
Hello
I walked few, today
Sleep got worse,around 4 hours.
Little energy was recharged.No rest.
Low physical and mental energy.
A Midle cold symptoms today.

Mental health
Well, it hasn't improved at all.

Anxiety
I had a little of anxiety, but I managed to stay calm (control breathing) and soon my heart rate (beat) returned to normal.

Mood
There was no positive mood change.

Healthy Food
Ending day without wheat and sugar
Only natural foods.
No much industrialized, overprocessed foods.

Just one more day
 
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