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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Accountability Bud, Jan 30, 2020.
That sounds like a good plan dear. Keep up the good fight!
@tedy26 100 days! Wow! That's a big deal!
@CalvinCongruent Good job on not giving in. You're an inspiration.
@Hero's Journey Sorry for the reset my man. That is super painful. I like how you outlined what went wrong. Always write out exactly what happened and specific, obtainable actions you can take in the future. That's what I'm doing.
3 Days today guys! When the urges hit, I will go for a walk with my reboot book and find a spot to read it until the urge passes. I will not give in!
@tedy26 Really happy to see you hit 100 days! If you had one piece of advice to give everyone here about your success, what would it be?
I am a bit over 100 days of no pornography, but I have not managed to make it the whole way without masturbation. I am quite happy with the no porn aspect of this journey. This is the longest I have gone without porn in over 10 years. Thanks guys for the support and encouragement that helped me achieve this.
Just to share, we had a really nice discussion on Discord yesterday with 4 people. I feel quite energized after receiving some new challenges and added accountability from physically talking to someone else. I look forward to the coming week. If you would like to join, please PM me and I can give you access.
@reconditioned mind Thanks! I think your strategy is a good one - getting fresh air and reminding yourself of why you're doing what you're doing is a strong combination. And congrats for being at 3 days! Thats big.
@tedy26 100!!! Celebrate in a way that reminds you of why you started this journey. I hope to get to your milestone in 98 days from today
I'm checking in to say that I had an urge come up, and I want to reflect on the triggers and use this accountability forum to work through it and reinforce my strategy of checking in rather than just trying to handle it on my own and ignore this.
So, in terms of the environment, the door to my room was closed and so I opened it up and that was a great way to change that. I am going to keep it open as much as I can.
Emotionally, I feel not bored but I feel like my body is craving some dopamine. So I would normally just go and scroll through social media or watch Youtube if I was going to relapse - so instead of doing those things I am going to eat something healthy and take a nice cold shower and freshen up.
I was also getting a bit distracted from the task that I had at hand, and so I am going to complete it and then really enjoy that accomplishment.
Yeah that's the plan but its really hard to not binge. Congratulations for those 100 days man. Its really a great achievement. Tell me what made you to be strongly committed to NoFap?
Man I feel like I have been looted of my wealth and now I am empty. But I am going to come back strongly. I am working on those specific,obtainable actions and tomorrow I will post them here. Thanks for your suggestion.
The best advice I’ve heard on urge control by a man who controlled it for 6 years.
Question for everyone:
I noticed on the OP (@Accountability Bud), he says "we aren't currently accepting new members"
Are we just using this thread as an accountability group now?
yes I think so..
Make your mind believe the following statement:-
" Urge/fantasy = trap = dont fall into trap "
" Incoming Urge = Time to get into any Physical/Mental Work"
" Urge energy convert into Work Energy"
" Source to convert energy = Brain "
"How to convert energy = Control your thought process, Control your brain, Make it think in the right direction "
(Controlling thought process is all in our hands.
What we think, will give directions to the brain)
I would love to join your community to tackle my PMO Reboot for life!
How Long I've Been Using Porn: 7 years
The impact on my life, from watching pornography:
Pornography became a weekly activity, and most of the time it had no impact on my life, or so I thought. Pornography creates misunderstandings of the potential beauty of a pure relationship between partners, it alters my health physically to the extent I become more exhausted than I should. It's mentally draining, and from my experience, it can indirectly impact friendships, especially with woman because the standards I put on myself from watching pornography.
Why I decided to quit porn:
On the journey of becoming a professional multi-faceted writer (meaning I can write novels, short stories, screenwriting [for video-games, film, TV], and scripts), I want to have the tolerance and acceptance of the sexual and pornography culture of media. The first step is to first overcome this addiction, so that I am not influenced by what I see on the media: be it a revealing picture, or sexual suggested scenes, etcetera. Most importantly however, I've built relationships with happy and successful couples who overcame their addictions. I've seen the possibilities of how rewarding life can be without pornography. Now, I want to reach my greatest potential in life, and change as a person.
My Plan to Stop Using Porn:
Today, I updated my counter to rest my PMO journey. Although my plan hasn't really changed from my previous attempts to reboot: I will remind myself of my values whenever I am mentally conflicted with urges (Or before I start my day), I will meditate 15 minutes in the morning and before bed, I will workout for 10-30 minutes for 3 days a week, I will have physical tracking sheets to record my reboot process along with other healthy habits I want to empower, I will distract myself with more productive and fulfilling activities (Writing, Reading, Video-Game Development, My Job, Family Bonding, or Strengthening Relationships with others), I will keep video-game time on a time limit (30min - 2hrs), and I will have a daily 5-10 self-reflection on my well-being and identity any thoughts, feelings, or interactions that causes a trigger. My latest plan is to have an accountability system, which is this community. When there are moments where I'm conflicted, I can receive guidance from people who have more experience than I do. Now what I've written above may seem overwhelming to read, but I know I can do this. I will take this growth in small steps, even if I only write a minute a day, for example.
How to follow through with my plan:
Tracking Sheets and a Calendar: These ensure I have my priorities in order, and I commit to what I say; Alarms: I often utilize this tool on my phone to remind myself when it is time to commit to an activity; Jam and Prep Session: There are certain times a day where I do the same thing consistently. Jam sessions currently occur from 6am - 10:30am where I commit to completing all my most valuable priorities before my youngest siblings wake up. Prep sessions are all the important activities I do to prepare myself for the next day, usually 3 hours before bed. These can include reading for 15min+, preparing my office and books, taking a shower, meditating, etcetera. Lastly, I'll be intentional with posting on this thread (google docs) every Wednesday of my progress, thoughts, and challenges.
I just want to check in real quick. I'm happy to see all the kindness towards each other in this group and I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to reply to the recent requests directed at me. I'll try to do better about that.
Right now I'm feeling a lot of urges and have been very tempted today so I'm going to go ahead and put all my electronics away.
I hope you are all well!
Hey Jordan, that sounds like a smart Choice. I think it’s such seemingly small choices that lead to extended strike. You should feel proud for winning today’s battle with such a choice.
Thanks for creating such a helpful accountability group.
Stay strong dear!
Thanks for your encouraging words. I strongly believe if we all keep on helping and encouraging each other, sooner or later we will all enjoy the freedom on the other side.
Congrats on 108 days of porn free life. As far as am concerned, that’s the worst evil. And you beat it for 108 days in a raw! Hung in there buddy.
More than 90% of my relapses started by masturbation and ended with P. I think my longest strike (which is now) started when I said no to P after relapsing last time with M. I really believe that was a big step forward in my no PMO journey.
I was really contemplating about the question you asked, “if you have one piece of advice to give everyone here about your success, what would it be?”. I was thinking about it for like the whole day. And I came up with this...
In the book of proverbs there is an old saying that says, “in all you are getting, get understanding”. I think all the things I understood about the addiction got me where I am now. And if you ask me which one ☝️ understanding had the most impact on my journey, I would say, it’s the mentality I call staying in the game.
When I think about my strick, it’s not just 100 days of no PMO success but it’s 1.5 years of success. It’s been a year and half since I joined this journey. I relapsed so many times that I don’t even remember. But I always stood up and kept fighting. I learned a lot from each relapses. I got stronger and wiser After every relapse. There is an old saying that says, failure is not the opposite of success, it’s rather part of it.
We all fail sometimes in all areas of our life. And when we do, we have left with 3 choices. Some quite, others get up and fight back with a similar strategy and hit the wall time and again, and others actually try to find understanding in each failure and keep fighting by changing their strategy. I try to take the third choice every time I relapse. And I promised my self to stay in the game as long as I live no matter how devastating a relapse could be and be creative with my strategy.
So to my understanding, it’s not about how long we abstained, it’s rather how long we keep fighting and how much we understood and internalized what we learned about the addiction.
I don’t think I will be where I am if it wasn’t for my accountability partner @nick2020 wise and supportive advises on our private chats. Specially on fitness and journaling. Thanks a lot dear.
Thanks @Accountability Bud for creating such a helpful group.
Thanks @Basilio for your starlight forward and deep posts.
Thanks for everyone of you in this forum for your encouraging words!
Hope you found the concept helpful. Am writing a success story. I was a little too busy to do it on time. As the saying goes, better later than never.
Keep up the good fight everyone. Stay in the game!
trust me when I tell you 98 days will pass like the wind once you get the momentum.
Yes I should celebrate but am a little busy this days. But I will make sure to make time in the coming weekend and reminisce on my journey.
Thank you for starting this thread man! Let us know how we can help you in your journey. Getting away from electronics when having urges is very smart!
@Pioneer of the Stars Welcome to the thread!!
Today has been a good day so far. Stay strong everyone!
Hey All - Just wanted to be that positive mofo and invite anyone who is wanting to really leverage this community to join the Discord call this Sunday! I did my first one last week with a few of the people on this thread and it made me realize the fact that we're all in this together in a different way.
Just to reflect on my personal experience, It was interesting to hear from some people that are further along in their recovery and to be hearing from people that are, like me, not as far along.
Bottom line - the great thing about this thread is that it is so obvious that everyone wants to beat this thing, and you can't do that alone.
Wishing everyone well - and look forward to our Sunday call.
Glad to hear you were able to beat the urge @JohnPaulGeorgeRingo ! Great strategies that you put into place as well.