Accountability Group for 20s/30s M

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Accountability Bud, Jan 30, 2020.

  1. Hero's Journey

    Hero's Journey Fapstronaut

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    Perseverance . A golden word.
     
    wontwatchpornanymore likes this.
  2. Hero's Journey

    Hero's Journey Fapstronaut

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    100% convinced that nobody could do this alone on his own.
    Our will power get destroyed by this to the bottom.
     
  3. Hero's Journey

    Hero's Journey Fapstronaut

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    Be busy. Simple yet most effective formula.
     
    Nikhil001o likes this.
  4. Hero's Journey

    Hero's Journey Fapstronaut

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    "PURITY OF CHARACTER IS THE MOTHER OF ALL VALUES." :emoji_ok_hand:
     
    Nikhil001o likes this.
  5. ReFocused4Me

    ReFocused4Me New Fapstronaut

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    1. Male.

    2. 26 years old.

    3. I have been using porn since I was 18 years old.

    4. The impact pornography use has had on my life has been entirely negative. I used to be someone who was a go-getter and prided themselves on going harder/longer than the others in the room (the gym, classroom, etc.) - as my pornography use increased, my desire to improve myself decreased. I still feel the desire to be a better version of myself but it's fleeting, in the sense that when abstaining from pornography becomes difficult - I give in before even trying to fight.

    5. I have decided to quit using porn because I want to get back to who I was - someone who was hungry to improve and a go-getter.

    6. My plan to quit porn is to start doing things outside that take me out of the environment (my room on my phone) that is easy to relapse in. I have bought some equipment to begin a calisthenics training routine, I love playing basketball, walking outside and enjoying nature. I also want to get into an accountability group or an accountability partner that I can talk openly about my feelings and discuss the journey of quitting this addiction that is honestly just too difficult to talk about with people who I know.

    7. I intend to follow through with my plan by archiving my activities. I could take a picture of myself playing basketball, training, reading, etc. Also, hopefully through the help of an accountability partner, I can stay on the path instead of veering off only to end back where I began.
     
    Nikhil001o likes this.
  6. Hero's Journey

    Hero's Journey Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, how much do you want to quit porn?
     
  7. ReFocused4Me

    ReFocused4Me New Fapstronaut

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    I want to quit. I’ve bought the YBOP book, read it, I’ve created logs, recorded myself talking about why I want to stop, journaled my thoughts, placed restrictions on my phones - I’ve tried for a long time, multiple different methods, for years now.

    I’ve failed a lot. I’ve let go of the rope, but I always grab it again. I’ve failed a lot, but I’m still willing to fight to reclaim myself.
     
    Hero's Journey likes this.
  8. JohnPaulGeorgeRingo

    JohnPaulGeorgeRingo Fapstronaut

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    Wow, I did not stick with this at all. That's definitely to my own detriment. Here I am @Hero's Journey . Glad to see that you're still fighting the good fight. I'd like to rejoin this cause.

    Here's why: A cycle of depression. That's what it's been for me, and it is not a matter of the chicken or the egg. I don't think that porn caused my depression, but I do think that it keeps me there. It and other things too. Just all the stuff that gets in the way, you know? Anyway, I just started doing self authoring as recommended to me by a friend, and that is really helping me see things need to change NOW. And that change needs to be renewed each day. That is the truth.

    And I am torn, even as I write this I have another browser up with P. I will close it down. NOW. And that is self love, that is a little bit more self respect. That is a little more freedom from my addiction. And that is the type of decision that I need to be ready to make at a moment's notice until I am able to move past this area of my life. I need this community to do that.

    I ask you @Hero's Journey , how did you stick with this 100+ days?????
     
    Hero's Journey likes this.
  9. CenteredSoul

    CenteredSoul Fapstronaut

    Sounds like the group is full up but I appreciate the structure and candor of your first message @Hero's Journey

    A bit about me first - life is going pretty well despite this problem. Throughout my porn addiction I have published papers, started a software business, and been in several successful committed relationships (and many less-committed ones). I'm genuinely happy with the person I am, but this one aspect nags on me badly. I know it pulls me down in a myriad ways.

    The questions:
    1. Male
    2. 28
    3. I have been using porn since I was 11 or so, when I first got access to the internet.
    4. The two most salient impacts have been porn induced ED and the time/procrasturbation. It also almost certainly has sapped my motivation in other avenues of life, as after even a week without porn, I feel a fervor coming back that I've been missing. Talking about ED though - this has been a source of massive anxiety for me. Usually the way this goes is that when I'm single, I fall into watching a huge amount of porn - sometimes for 2+ hours a day. Then I meet a girl I'm attracted to and for the first few weeks to a month of seeing her, I have trouble getting hard. This is probably 50% perf anxiety and 50% desensitization, but the perf anxiety comes from the repeated failures to get hard, so they both have their roots in porn use. After an embarrassing session or two I usually cut way back on porn consumption (often relapsing only the day after a bunch of sex) and things gradually stabilize. But I've been occasionally using ED meds to compensate, which I know is stupid. Still, one or two sessions of crazy sex gives me the confidence to get over the performance anxiety... As to the time spent - that should be obvious. Huge waste of time. I've had days where I did little but masturbate. There are a lot of other reasons - from growing deviant sexual desires to distraction at work (looking at porn while on Skype meetings, even), but this small list is already sufficient justification.
    5. I want to reset my dopamine loops completely, find greater satisfaction in work and daily life, regain time, and become a better lover. The last one is really important for me right now. I have been seeing an amazing woman and her apparent disappointment that I can't reliably have PIV sex with her is gut-wrenching. We have had one excellent night of sex, after a week of no porn for me, but I relapsed the following day (tired, test spike from sex). Two days later, I couldn't perform.
    6. Find accountability partners and get competitive about my streak. Write documents (such as this one) that I can refer to when I feel cravings. Meditate (good for performance anxiety as well) and focus on sleeping well (I find when tired I have the highest probability of relapsing). Finally, I want to schedule lots of time to talk with friends. I find being around motivated people helps me a lot.
    7. Join an accountability group and focus on helping others first. I know I'm not as deep as some, have thought a lot about this, and am generally in a good place mentally. I always find helping others causes me to be mindful of my own performance in the domain I'm helping in. I also want to write a succinct "reasons that porn should be a thing of my past" that I review daily, along with my 5 Minute journal.
    If this resonates with anyone, feel free to shoot me a DM. This group sounds like what I'm looking for but I would also like to start this process now.

    Much love, everyone
     
    bertranr likes this.
  10. Ratheon

    Ratheon Fapstronaut

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    Hey all,
    I was originally 100miles, but after not using for a while, it seems NoFap has forgot my account.

    Anyways, I fell off for a long time. It seems the longer I go without accountability, the harder it is to come back. Well here I am.
    Seems like most of the original members have gone somewhere else.

    I'm ready to start again. I've pinned this page to my taskbar.
     
    Hero's Journey and Biz20 like this.
  11. Biz20

    Biz20 Fapstronaut

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    Good luck! Did you in this journey experience weight loss?
     
  12. Ratheon

    Ratheon Fapstronaut

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    No. If anything, I want to gain weight.
     
  13. Biz20

    Biz20 Fapstronaut

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    Me too but I started losing weight without much effort and I wasn't overweight never was so I'm confused
     
  14. Ratheon

    Ratheon Fapstronaut

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    Sorry everyone. I failed yesterday. Forgot I was practicing accountability again. That's how entrenched I am now. Please forgive me and keep fighting. Restarted yesterday.
     
    Nikhil001o and bertranr like this.
  15. Ratheon

    Ratheon Fapstronaut

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    Hello. Sorry everybody. I relapsed hard yesterday. I considered permitting a lie once, but that would only snowball as it has with my friend, which I should share with him today. I reached out to Sexaholics Anonymous and hope to join a webinar recovery group along with using their resources.
    Please forgive me, and keep fighting.
     
    zeusmx likes this.
  16. Hero's Journey

    Hero's Journey Fapstronaut

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    We don't want to masturbate still we do masturbate. Why?
    Because our subconscious mind is not aware enough of the dreadful consequences of masturbation.
    Therefore we must read daily without break about the harmfulness of masturbation (for the first 3 months atleast) so that our subconscious mind could very clearly understand that it is indeed very wrong.
     
  17. Hero's Journey

    Hero's Journey Fapstronaut

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    someone posted it
    Never self-test! remember regardless you are a man or woman, using a phrase like "to see how long it lasts" or "how stronger you becomes to resist the urges" or " what if I watched porn and didn't relapse" or "I am different (everyone is different) and maybe my streak is long enough and no need to do it today" and so on.
    Then you will come to a point that you will fail.

    SO NEVER TEST YOURSELF REGARDLESS THE REASON.
     
    zeusmx and Nikhil001o like this.
  18. Nikhil001o

    Nikhil001o Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys Its nik here, previously I have tried this nofap and I relapsed on 93rd day cuz I didn’t find any benefits but I can definitely say that I had so much energy...
    From that day to till now it’s been on and off eg: I did not faped for 10,12,30,32,5,8,15days ect ect but I can notice one thing that is I’m slowly going back to my old behaviour like I can’t sleep if I don’t fap, after faping I’ll crave for having sugar food, mind is overthinking even if it’s small small issues and I want to run from issues either if it’s a family or emotional and I feel like I act like pussy and cry for small small reasons and I really feel that manely thing is died inside me and I don’t want to be this guy anymore and I want to change this and I want to change, even if i don’t get any benefits from this nofap, I’ll still continue this journey.
    I think I need to try this for one year.
    I’ll be posting my updates here. Stay strong......
     
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  19. Hero's Journey

    Hero's Journey Fapstronaut

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    Hello brother
    Yes manliness is one of the feature of NoFap and impotency is of fapping. It may take you more than a year to realise the external benefits of NoFap. Even if you don't realize any benefits for now isn't it foolish to waste the most powerful energy which our body could produce in futile pleasures . If we are procreating then its okay other than that its a waste. We have wasted enough now its time preserve this precious fluid.
    P.S. - If you go in some depth about studying sperm and its composition you would realize yourself how precious it is.
     
    zeusmx and Nikhil001o like this.
  20. muhagg

    muhagg Fapstronaut

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    I haven't been on this forum for a while. How are u guys doing with NoFap
     

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