ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 30 Y.O

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. skinnyfatkiddo

    skinnyfatkiddo Fapstronaut

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    Checking in day 13. Kind of feels like no man's land but I'm glad I'm here. I'm really planning on making it to day 17 for the group call Wednesday. Had a significant urge yesterday but just accepted it and let it pass. I'm struggling with loneliness and jealousy when I see couples. I try to tell myself a relationship won't solve my problems, but it's still an automatic thought I have. I know I need to keep working on myself and managing my emotions, it's just hard to be alone day after day.

    On the plus side I'm reading again, exercising, and looking for a new house is keeping me occupied as well.

    Hope you all are doing well and staying strong. I really enjoy hearing all the updates and positivity in this thread.
     
  2. DudeAlex

    DudeAlex Fapstronaut
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    I can't help but think of a particle accelerator when you talk about smashing things together! :emoji_boom: I am such a science geek, I know. :p

    Well, I have another day. As always, I am proud and happy about that!

    I updated my day counter to indicate the day I rubbed against the inside of my clothes to turn myself on. I was trying to get off, if I am honest with myself. I am okay with the new number of days. I like to be truthful with everyone else and myself.
     
  3. diaspar

    diaspar Fapstronaut

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    I did have a reset unfortunately. P-subs and chat.

    I think my previous streak was 19 days also.
     
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  4. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    Day 87:
    Been dealing with some rough urges to relapse. I’m starting to feel concerned that the urges are going to be here for a while, and it’s probably going to take a long time before they don’t bother me anymore. It’s hard to give up something I did regularly for 15+ years and not feel constantly pulled back towards it. It’s that stupid little voice in the head that whispers, “just a quick peek.” We all know there’s no such thing as a quick peek for addicts hahaha. Every time that urge flares up I try and remember how down and out I felt three months ago. I was at a serious rock bottom that kind of scared me. I don’t want to go back to that place, so onward and upwards. Till next time..
     
  5. Checking in. Today I wasn't as down as I was yesterday. It's been a difficult last 2 days because of some job setbacks and panic that hit hard but I'm rolling with them at this point. Think I just needed a few days days because I'm starting to get motivated again. Working out may be saving me.

    I'm realizing that it's important to recognize where progress is being made not just in this but also in life. It's something I have difficulty measuring. Was happy I actually sent out more job apps than I anticipated and made some progress in my online course.
     
  6. DudeAlex

    DudeAlex Fapstronaut
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    Day 8:
    As I quit edging, I am reminded of my concurrent struggle quitting caffeine. I have been doing both PM and caffeine for many years now, sometimes extreme amounts of each. Now as I quit, I feel the pull to indulge because the habits have become so ingrained. This is known as post-acute withdrawal (PAW): the withdrawal after the drug or behavior has left one's system. The brain chemicals need a lot more time to regulate. During this time, one is preoccupied with wanting to relapse and is uncomfortable.
    I cannot wait for this PAW period to end with regard to PM, and to free myself from caffeine and begin the PAW for that, so that I can get through that as well.

    Be Well and Happy,
    Al
     
  7. Day 9 done. My day was pretty smooth sailing. A really nice autumns day here in South Korea, took my dogs for a walk, did a home workout, read and studied Korean for 2 hours.
    It's great to see so many other people here sharing their journeys.
     
  8. Great awakin

    Great awakin Fapstronaut

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    Beat ur streak this time, you can do it!
     
  9. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Today is the day I rededicate myself to the productive life..had a little break there but I am done with that. First thing I am really going to focus on is writing....not here, but I am sure I will be around here more also.

    Good to see no one is dealing with urges on this Sunday night.
     
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  10. Good looking out. Didn't know that the brain chemicals need time to regulate after a withdrawal. I always love learning more about what happens during that time to the brain.
     
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  11. Today was ok. Actually got a mix of things done which I'm happy about. Need to become more positive somehow. It makes a difference. Hope this week goes ok. Gonna take it easy tonight and not push like I tend to do. Trying to go back to reading at bedtime. I'm on the computer way too much as it is. Good night all
     
  12. webdevil81

    webdevil81 Fapstronaut

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    Day 6 checkin, weekend went with only a few thoughts that were quickly vanquished.
     
  13. skinnyfatkiddo

    skinnyfatkiddo Fapstronaut

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    Day 15 check in. Feeling a little more optimistic about the battle this week. I'm struggling with making some decisions in my life, but a lot of it is just my own internal struggle. Outside of my own head life is not that bad. Despite that I've had probably the worst anxiety and depression of my life the last few months, though things are a little better the last few weeks. I learned about cognitive distortions from reading 'feeling good' by david burns. I know that pretty much all of the mental turmoil I feel day to day is caused by my own cognitive distortions. I'm constantly placing negative judgements on things, over estimating the likelihood of negative outcomes, and worrying that I won't be able to handle certain events should they happen. Its been a challenge to increase the percentage of positive thoughts that I have throughout the day, but that's what I have to do. I think that will go a long way towards improving my quality of life and my success in nofap. Just some rambling thoughts I'm having this morning. Stay safe all.
     
  14. webdevil81

    webdevil81 Fapstronaut

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    Thought I would come on here as I'm having the urge. Just been feeling lousy today and its made the old "some dopamine will cheer you up!" lol.

    @skinnyfatkiddo it really is good to start knowing how your own mind works, for improving your life and that of others around you. I'm going to checkout this cognitive distortions.
     
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  15. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Here now. You can do this.

    Sorry to hear that you have been feeling lousy. Find dopamine in another way. I have started gaming when I am dopamine seeking.
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2020
  16. Today will be day 11. Still on track with my thoughts. Been learning more about sexual energy transmutation on YouTube and reading the book The Coiled Serpent. Instead of suppressing all sexual energy, I need to direct that energy to something different - in my case it would be studying Korean or working out.
    I haven't got much planned for today and playing Clash Royale is starting to bore me again. Time to pull out my books I think.
     
  17. webdevil81

    webdevil81 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, ended up making it through and waking up this morning feeling better and more refreshed for the day ahead. Your encouragement helps too! I used to game but it is something I have given up until I finish my studies, otherwise I will sink into that chair too much. Usually I get out on the bike but I have a small injury preventing that, just keep looking forwards and marching on.

    @This is it I read one of Mantak Chia's books on this subject, very interesting. Also I read 'Think, grow rich' by Nepolian Hill and that has a whole chapter on it, will checkout The Coiled Serpent.

    Oh yeah and first milestone reached on this streak, 7 days. This little victory will hopefully push me on to the second which is 30 days/one month. Have a great day lads.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2020
  18. Hail To The Thief

    Hail To The Thief Fapstronaut

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    This is making me think of a quote from one of the recovery groups that I’m in that says “one is too many and a thousand is never enough.” This applies to PMO for sure, just taking a peek isn’t an option for an addict and no amount of PMO will make us feel better which is why we all ended up here. Good job on the streak!


    This is my main focus in life at this point. Everything I experience is passed through the filter in my brain that is affecting how I feel about it. The only thing I can control is myself, and that’s even questionable sometimes. If my happiness depends on external conditions then I’m fucked. But if I can change my experience of reality then I can be happy any time. I’m working on it and I’ve had glimpses of this power, but understanding that this is how it works is the only way to start. He just released a new book today called ‘Feeling Great’ which seems like it synthesizes some of the lessons from ‘Feeling Good’ and adds some new stuff so I’ll have to check that out.

    Checking in on day 92! It’s been 3 months which is the goal for some people and when they say some major changes happen in the brain. I’ve definitely experienced some changes and I’m grateful for that. No PMO for 3 months has made my life better so I’m not sure why I would stop now.
     
  19. Hombre

    Hombre Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed yesterday (end of day 6 no M and 26 no P)...
    I was feeling anxious and kind of depressed because I sleep less than 5 hours each day the past 3 days, plus I had a sexual encounter last week and had been feeling extra-horny since then. I also had a personal problem that was continuously running in my head and that I was trying to figure it out. Now I feel I had thrown away all my little progress. Worst of all, I saw some P... Sh*t! Fk*g hate this... I know these are all excuses. It is usually the same: I don´t sleep properly and all start snowballing. I think lack of sleep is one of my biggest trigger factors, if not the most important.

    Stay strong people, as always good to read your posts

    If you
    're tired of starting over, stop giving up
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2020
  20. Great awakin

    Great awakin Fapstronaut

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    It's a matter of the heart bro, im usually weakest when i dont rest well due to work and seemingly unending problems. But lately, ive managed that pretty well. This covid is actually an opportunity for me to reset, ive joined daily prayer group etc. Dont give up, i always hated the lows too. I now think about it this way man: God's let me gone through things worse than now, so God will lead me to my current issue. I dont know how spiritual you are and my apologies for sharing my personal experience, but that mindset takes a lot of burden from my thoughts. I only focus on the things i can do now instead of what i cant control.
     
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