ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 30 Y.O

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. bakerbhf

    bakerbhf Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it is noticing that each of those little choices leads to a cascade of further choices that lead you down the rabbit hole. Trying to catch yourself at each stage in the thought process is something that has worked well for me most of the time. Although this takes mental energy, which I didn't have due to poor sleep, hence my recent relapse.
     
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  2. Diderik

    Diderik Fapstronaut
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    Time for me to try again... day 2.
     
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  3. ReInForced_Elk

    ReInForced_Elk Fapstronaut

    Keep it going this time! "Dont end up in hell!" I keep telling myself. (Avoidance motivations work the best?)
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2021
  4. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    ye! do you have a goal this time around or just taking it one day at a time?
     
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  5. ReInForced_Elk

    ReInForced_Elk Fapstronaut

    You nailed it. It takes mental energy, and we'll see how long I'll last before my guard is down too. Life is like a freakin' boxing ring! Letting your guard down, you get punched...

    I emphasize with you. It happened to me dozens of times (being caught off-guard).
     
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  6. SlimTeleGuy

    SlimTeleGuy Fapstronaut

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    Back to day 0. I'm exhausted with myself.
     
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  7. ReInForced_Elk

    ReInForced_Elk Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do to help keep you more accountable towards yourself?
     
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  8. ReInForced_Elk

    ReInForced_Elk Fapstronaut

    I was sitting in my office chair yesterday (home office) and had a spontaneous emission... I was looking at a woman with big breasts but it was not porn. So I don't count it as a relapse. What is interesting, however, is that I haven't experienced this since high school... The downside is the chaser effect I have today. Perhaps my sexual function is restoring? I felt like it was my body getting rid of excessive semen.
     
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  9. MojoMaster

    MojoMaster Fapstronaut

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    Day 14: last couple of days were tough. Brain kept fantasizing and I had to constantly bring myself back to the present.
     
  10. ReInForced_Elk

    ReInForced_Elk Fapstronaut

    I know the feeling. I have the same these days. I think if we just keep it going without relapse the fantasizing will go away by itself
     
  11. Diderik

    Diderik Fapstronaut
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    I used to masturbate in front of the toilet so much that now every time I go to urinate, I get tempted to masturbate again. Isn't that disgusting? Imagine getting turned on by standing in front of a commode.

    Well, at least I'm on day 6 again. The first week or so passes quickly, and then I often give in and masturbate again. I get tempted the whole time, right from day one, but it seems that after that first week I get complacent or maybe worn out from resisting. Probably both. I am going to try to pay attention to why I am tempted as I go through these coming days. Do I get frustrated with something and want to blow off steam? Sometimes, but I don't think that accounts for most of my relapses. I know the problem is that the habit is so ingrained and I basically just need to keep working my Action Plan, but maybe I can look at some of the additional reasons why I am tempted in each particular case. I think it may help.

    Good luck to all, and thanks for being here for me!
     
  12. SlimTeleGuy

    SlimTeleGuy Fapstronaut

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    @ReInForced_Elk thanks for offering to help. And thanks to the others who have also tried to help me. I'm not giving up hope at all. Just sad at where I find myself. I'm still in the fight.
     
  13. DetroitRok

    DetroitRok Fapstronaut

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    I like this thread. Day 0. I think I’ll try again.

    porn, strip clubs, massage parlors have all been a part of life for me. Married and have kids. Really need to get a handle on this shit.

    ive wondered whether never living free and just going for it has left me here. I married early and have never hit rock bottom. I’ve been kept in half-hell for almost 20 years. Pretty much sick of it.
     
  14. MojoMaster

    MojoMaster Fapstronaut

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    thanks bud! Appreciate the little antidote.. every bit helps in this journey
     
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  15. Diderik

    Diderik Fapstronaut
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    Day six is here for me once again. How can I make this the last time? I hope to find out.
     
  16. Hail To The Thief

    Hail To The Thief Fapstronaut

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    Checking in at 91 days. My thoughts and urges have been all over the place. Most of the time I’m living life and not thinking about PMO, but sometimes the thoughts come and they’re fucking incessant. This is not my first time with over 90 days without PMO, it’s really amazing how tricky my addict brain can be to try to get what it wants. In AA we have a saying for alcoholism that the disease is “cunning, baffling, and powerful” and I definitely would describe my sex and porn addiction the same way. In December I had 200 days without PMO and “decided” to try it again to see how my relationship to it had changed to see if I could control or enjoy it but it only got worse. I’m holding out hope that at some point the obsession will leave. It took over a year of clean and sober time until my obsession with drugs and alcohol left me, so I will keep trying with PMO, even though I have been using PMO much longer than I did drugs and alcohol. It’s really tiring though, but I know that giving in is not the solution to my problem. The solution to my problem is living a life that I feel good about instead of doing things that temporarily feel good.

    I don’t want to imply that my life isn’t good, I just had unrealistic expectations that I would be more free from the obsessive thoughts by now. But really 90 days is a drop in the bucket compared to the 25 years I’ve been PMO’ing. So one day at a time, I won’t PMO and every time the though or urge comes along and I don’t give in then I’m building the right neural pathways and retraining my sick brain.

    I hope you’re all doing well.
     
  17. One1One

    One1One Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone, checking in.

    I had a slip-up after 111 days.

    How do I feel about it?
    Well, to be honest it surprises me that the mental recovery has been almost instant after masturbating. Usually, when the practise was constant, I would feel really shit after every session. This time, I feel different. Like I did something natural(talking about the ejaculation) and feeling good about it. Clearly this is not a suggestion to go back to it daily, neither it is for me. It is just to share my real feelings about it. I only experienced some shame and mental fog this morning, a light one, that lasted a few minutes. I won't throw 111 days of discipline away so easily, there are many benefits that I got out of it. Like PIED cured, self control, clarity of thoughts, anxiety disappeared and more harmony inside of me. All things that reinforce the power of this path, and that motivated me to keep at it, restarting from day 1, but this time with a second objective that I'll share later on.

    How did it happen?
    This week I felt strong urges, I had morning woods constantly, and found myself fantasizing many times. Like the past days, I tried to let it be, and keep my focus away. Yesterday it happen to be the end of the working week, a tough one for my business, and there was some dissatisfaction, very little(the week was a profitable one, but not the way I want it to be),
    and that caught me off guard. Thinking I was in control and could concede a little pick at hot girls in bikinis...and boom, 2 hours later I was watching porn and masturbating. I repeated this morning. Now I feel good, in the sense I believe I discharged the stress and the feeling of dissatisfaction, and I'm feeling ready to continue from where I was. A man is not finished when he's defeated, he's finished when he quits. I won't quit this path. I'll make some adjustments.

    What I learned?
    I learned that like everything in life, to make progress in anything, I need clear goals, identification of the actual obstacles, make a plan, embrace the finale result as my daily feeling, and keep moving forward. I learned the importance of having someone to share my thoughts and feelings with, for this, I really appreciate all of you guys, and this community, it is really a great help. I learned to seek answers inside of me, or just good questions to make me think. I learned to take it slowly and 1 obstacle at a time. I learned that porn is not included in my goals, and I identified an obstacle and a solution.

    What next?
    The past 111 days I did monk mode, and I feel some benefits out of it. I'm from Italy, and the difficulties due to covid are reducing, allowing me to meet women by going out, probably in 1 month or so. The reason 1 I started this path is to find someone to love and share the life with. Clearly this first phase was for detoxing from everything that was wrong. Now I want to move into my second phase, which is hanging out more with women. Hope that covid restriction will soon fade away, allowing me to have a great spring and summer time. I felt I had extra energy this 111 days, now it is time to use it, instead of just accumulating it. I liked I post that said, the benefits of nofap are to be used. Totally agree.

    That's all for me, sorry if the post is long, but now I'm feeling better to have shared it with you all.

    All the best, and never give up.
    A man is not finished when he's defeated, he's finished when he quits. I won't quit.

    PS I'll reset the counter tomorrow
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2021
  18. Real Jerry Seinfeld

    Real Jerry Seinfeld Fapstronaut

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    It's a weird one. I think like with quitting smoking or some other substance, it takes a while for the urges to go but they're gone after like 6 months. With PMO, it's more about how that desire gets directed rather than it ever going away. It has to go into desire for sex with your other half rather than porn and that's more complicated that a substance addiction, where it just disappears to almost nothing after a while.
     
  19. Franzis

    Franzis Fapstronaut

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    You don't have to make this the last time. As you can read, there are many of us that use PMO but don't relapse, don't lose the benefits. A week without PMO isn't bad, try to look at reachable goals. It's impossible to pass from a week to never. Go step by step. You have to accept this and be honest
    Good luck
     
  20. Diderik

    Diderik Fapstronaut
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