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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.
Sounds right on! glad you have a plan, and the right mindset!
I think that when things like this are presented to us we do not need to shut that door and ignore those natural impulses. Men have always wanted to look at models, that is why they are models...simply acknowledge this urge as natural, and understand that experiencing the urge to masturbate is not as natural..but some sort of experience should be had with this urge imo...consider it a time to get a little dopamine and move on..after a week of nofap your brain needs it and deserves it....thats just my take...same response as above, are you familiar with dopamine fasting?
most Fapstronauts will not agree with this but I believe any urge should first be understood, accepted, balanced, and to some level experienced. that does not mean looking at P, but it means if you have the urge to look at P then you should seat why that urge is arising, balance it, and the experience would be a mental exercise in which you are not focused on P but rather the balancing of that urge...for example if I wanted to watch p i would understand that is bc my body needs a release and i have been over exposed to p throughout my life..i would understand that this urge comes from wanting to be with as many women as I can, from an anthropological standpoint that is our goal on earth..then I would just imagine being with a women, and then balance that by understanding that I am on a more meaninful journey right now, and that is not what I really want..most Fapstronauts would skip the fantasy but I believe that to be an important step that actually helps recovery and the spirit.
If the run doesn't help, maybe a cold shower or a book will! or maybe a youtube video that has some sort of self help elements or something
12ove; dopamine fasting? No, havn't heard of it per se. I've just yesterday heard the term in a youtube clip of a guy who just did a year nofap, but I don't know what it actually entails.
Actually as of today, deleted all my dating apps. Not that I was on them that much. Somehow I feel the new counterculture is monklife. It's awesome, because I never was on regular social apps fb, tndr, istafuck etc. Now I'm super glad.
I am used to picking up girls just whenever - daygame, at bars, sports, school, whatever. I have had lots of default success on apps, but I would have to say that my best girls that I end up sticking with whether as long term fbs or gfs? I have met them in real life. I have never had an issue doing that, and even though it's not difficult to totally slay on the apps using a few tricks to beat the algos, you just end up putting too much time into photos and onto using the exact same lines because it's effective but it kinda kills your vibe and probably turns you into a fucking sociopath.
Relapsed into M... Damn. Luckily no P though. I will reset the counter. It's like without the dopamine spike, I'm in a period where the brain try to find "work arounds" or alternatives to that dopamine spike.
Ya I generally dislike all forms of social media. I think we need to hold facebook accountable for everything. I prefer twitter because I can stay engaged with the crypto community, get live updates on projects and what not...facebook seems like a diary for the racist conservative folks now...has been since Trumpppp imo
I went into a one month retreat with monk mode abstinence. Shutting down access and any living disciplined joining a community and managed to have nothing.
i feel I am many many steps further. But rattled at the same time realizing how deep and how much the wrong way to live cut into my life
that’s the way to keep going. It needs more attempts like this which I will undergo.
I'd be very interested to hear what you experienced in monk mode; in particular what depth and facts you realized about your life that was wrong and that you have to alter in your way of living....
A status report:
1. Day 0: x (relapse into M), (NO P: Day 53: x)
2. Push-ups: 0 (quota 20)
What I'm satisfied with: having trained interval training, even during the season of my pollen allergy
What I could do better: I could have abstained more from the use of facebook last night, which was friday (I'm close to central European time. Also, I'm not a native English speaker, just so you know).
General reflection: I noticed that the combination of 1) being alone, 2) alchohol (wine and beer), and 3) friday/week-end is particularly dangerous for me. Yesterday my relapse into M started with bad attitudes towards women, profile surfing on FB, progressing to pictures of lightly dressed or half-naked women. Still, no relapse into high-speed internet porn videos (thank God). But I really need to work on this M stuff. So I decided upon the following new routines for week-ends when I'm alone without my partner:
Deactivating my FB account every friday afternoon
Setting myself some sort of self-development goal prior to every week-end
Need to work on that procrastination... Just get things done and not think too much about it!
Furthermore, I notice that physiological changes are actually big triggers for me. These days I'm struggling heavy with pollen allergies (much heavier than I'm used to). I went for a run yesterday in the forest, and after that... My eyes were all swollen and I felt literally sick. That very easily leads to esapism! So this was a wake-up call, that I need to be aware of what happens during changes in my physiology. I don't know or this resonates with some of you??
Yeah. I'd be very interested in hearing about that too
Checking in, day 8 and feeling good. Had some erotic dream last night, that caused me to wake up around 5,30. A part that, not much intensity in terms of temptations during day time, feeling in good control so far. I believe the coming week could be more challenging considering the past experience, let's see. I'll check in again next week end to let you guys know. Take it easy, let's be kind to ourselves and progress one challenge at a time.
If you are doing hard mode your testosterone should start to level out...so you might actually start to get used to it...it is good that you had a dream..it shows that you are not flatlining.
I need to kick up the physical activity, it's spring time!
Thanks for the information. I feel like that to be honest, like getting used to it again. For now it's still hard mode. Keep you guys updated. Enjoy your Sunday evening.
Guys how do i reset my counter , i did it from update my counter tap but it still hasn't changed !
It takes time to update. Just wait for it
Wow OMG Dude yea it changed now , thanks , you're such a good luck man ! you're Awesome bro
at the top the black bar says "Update day counter"
@12ove me too! That's my new addiction it seems. Better that than the pmo. I've been following the traders and have been listening to more podcasts lately. Bought The Book of Satoshi It's all the collected writings of Bitcoin's creator.
Checking in as I am at around 14 days which is my longest streak yet.
Despite my recent relapse my previous efforts weren't for nothing as I feel far better this time around. The advice from the community to not fixate on the day counter or my mood (I was keeping a detailed spreadsheet!) has been the most important change this time around. I feel much less drained and able to combat urges if needed.
Also, beginning to see other subtle improvements in my life. Feeling more confident and able to direct what energy I have constructively. Still have a long way to go with many things but I am getting there.
One interesting thing I have noticed is that I am often getting a feeling of disgust/revulsion when I think about masturbating and some negative fantasies. I haven't tried to cultivate this so it is interesting that it seems to have arisen almost spontaneously. Anyone else noticed this? I am not getting the same thing when I see an attractive woman which is good, although I am getting better at mindfully acknowledging the attraction before moving on rather than obsessing.
Finally, I am not going to fall into the 'reward' trap like my previous relapse. NoFap is for life, not just for Christmas!
Take care all, and hope you are all safe and well.
That book sounds awesome! If you end up liking it lmk I might have to check it out
@bakerbhf yes that is normal and will likely increase with time.