ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 30 Y.O

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. @12ove yep exactly! Granted, I've been a member here now for 3 years and have had TONS of AP's over the years so I know what's required. But it's so important to make sure we are supporting one another in this group or else what's the point? If all we are doing is reporting in on what day we are on it's nothing more than a journal. We need to lean on each other for support like a family, etc.

    I know it's tough with people being busy, just think it's important to remember the point of this thread. And congrats to you on getting through a difficult day! Just like I mentioned to others, feel free to reach out to me if you are ever feeling urges. I would love to help in any way I can. I am on here usually pretty often throughout the day.
     
  2. Check in thursday.
    The fight is for life.
    The benefits are waiting :)
     
  3. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Likewise! I will try to be on as much as possible.
     
  4. Its not a small issue. There are certain entities trying to take the wind out of the sails of this movement for reasons $ and otherwise. Bottom line is what you said (2 no faps in the household). This is serious. No, you won't overdose on porn. You won't end up in the gutter. Its not drugs or alcohol. In a way its worse because it can be secret. It doesn't smell etc...But the consequences are REAL. The effects are REAL. There are 17 year old boys with ED. WTF?! Not right. Anyhoo kudos to you for putting up w your husbands habit AND recovery. And to him for acknowledging it. Stay strong. It pays off!:)
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2019
  5. im’possible

    im’possible Fapstronaut

    Hi, I'm doing fine. Started nofap for long time ago but wasn't really productive. I figured that was because I was doing it along. It's really nice to have somewhere like here to openly discuss this issue.

    I'm adding two more things to you:
    1. Don't look (triggers)
    2. Don't repeat (remind triggers)
    3. Observe your emotions
    These work from one two three. If one doesn't work go two and three. So this can be your 90 days formula.

    Btw I just saved a man from falling over the escalator. He passed out but he's fine. I'm glad I was behind him cuz he had lots of luggages. It reminds me a chap told me in the class of how to deal with the suicide. He carried lots of baggs as he couldn't take one more, all he needed was someone for a helping hand. Even just simple words may I help you, helps. I'm also glad someone from my behind helped him too.

    @Raging Wife I also have over sweating problem. Not much bed time but day time mostly. I read some articles that this could be the damage of the nerve system. It could cures itself but takes some time. Mine is getting better after days of nofap, and of course some work outs too.

    Reading from you I feel both happy and sad. It's good to have a loving wife like you but the same time, seems you're putting the effort in relationship more than him. Let's hope both of you can balance it one day.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2019
  6. Paf-On

    Paf-On Fapstronaut

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    Yup... Totally agree with you...
    For tips no 1 and no 2... I use original smarthphone password for lock browser, social media, video etc. And I told my friend to create and keep the password. So I don't know what the password is.
    It helpfull alot altough still can breakable.

    Tip no 3 : observe my emotions.
    I always ask question to my self. How do I feel right now?

    I'm glad that I found this community, so we can support each other and sharing tips.

    Btw, great job for saving someone else life. You should proud about it.
     
  7. Raging Wife

    Raging Wife Fapstronaut

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    Yes my husband said even when he was at school there was no real sex education and he was at a normal school. The church has a big part to play in mental health issues over there, no wonder they cant get people our generation through the doors after all that happened.
    I'm totally shocked about the abortion video I must say! Its unreal they would show that when it would have been illigal still then anyway and also no point in showing it to a group of teen boys?! Might have had a better effect had it been shown to the girls!

    Everyone has alcoholism in their family in one form or another. Its weather you chose to drink yourself. I used to heavily binge but don't anymore and that is mostly dow to the fact my hubby hasnt drank for 6 years now. It's boring on your own lol. He might have one pint St Patrick's day!

    Get yourself out there and don't judge a book by its cover. Most girls with Irish descent have blonde hair blue eyes, it's one of our best assets, dont limit yourself, unless you prefer a brunette of course. Lol.

    I think having an SO would certainly be helpful during a streak because everyone has needs after all. I have to put myself in a mans shoes and think what would I be like with absolutely no action? After a week I'd be stir crazy. Having a misses to help abstain might benefit some.
     
  8. Day 6 here. Hope everyone is having a good Thursday so far.
     
  9. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

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    Marching, marching. Triggered, triggered. My journey is about moving from fantasy to the woman in my life, my wife. I'm working to recalibrate my mind so that it's not so aggressive with the fantasies of other women, or just general wanderings. I don't fully know what is at the root of it - power searching of some kind I think. BUT, I do know that while I'm figuring it out, getting off porn is essential. So, setting my intentions for today. Thank you all of you. I read your posts and feel stronger. Great Thursday to you all.
     
  10. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

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    Also, to continue the lament, I haven't exercised in over a week, been getting through some cold. Two nights back I did an impressive samurai slice to my finger, which led to no small amount of pain, self-pity and more pain. Work is a stress. Finances, la la la. Just all of it can feel so overwhelming. The simple song that leads us to porn is attractive for the very reason that this other stuff is a pain in the ass. There's no life that way. There's no compromise, fatigue, stress... until after. And then, all of life is still there, but now I feel a new depression on top of it. And my mind isn't my own. I'm definitely feeling it today.
    Will do my best to march left, right, left through the day. Will likely be on here throughout the day again. I'm so grateful we have this forum.
     
  11. This site is a blessing for the humanity . Keep strong fella
     
    colio likes this.
  12. @colio I hear you man. I need to keep realizing how much this destructive addiction is harming my wife without her even knowing. I'm not giving her my all when I am part of this addiction and she doesn't deserve it.
     
  13. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

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    There’s not a single benefit to the time spent with porn. Any time spent with family, friends or just sorting out your own thoughts is time better spent.
     
  14. blahblah2930

    blahblah2930 Fapstronaut

    I understand this problem fully! On my last streak, days 20-28 were just full of fantasies. I could not get my mind to think of anything else. Not sure what the root cause is either.
     
  15. Thursday check in. No urges lately but a definite flatline. Got some news at work. Ill be traveling for a few weeks later this month which is always good news as I tend to get too busy to think about pmo. Also this weekend in NYC promises to be rainy and Ill need to make sure to be busy regardless. Weekends plus bad weather is never a winning combination. So just putting myself on high alert. Hope everyone is doing ok and staying strong out there.
     
  16. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

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    This is really helpful to read. For days now, I've been on edge. Part of me is walking the walk, another is stalking triggers. I have a little boy and I drop him off at preschool every morning. There's a mother there who is very attractive. And so, where I can be connecting with my son and taking in the miracle of him, I'm urged to keep glancing at her. She's in another class, thank God, so I don't interact with her too much. But, still.

    What I've found though is that she's really just fulfilling a role. She's a person on which I displace my fantasy. If it weren't her, it would be another, or a "memory," or a photo. We all know what PSubs are. I think what I end up doing is white knuckling. I push to keep from looking at triggers as long as possible (#1), then, inevitably, I do... and I find myself in the surf between #1 and #2. Digging in deeper, I think there's a self-sabotage-y pay-off in that. Yes, there are urges, and we all need to work our methods of getting past them (breathing, exercise, running screaming), but there's also the "struggle." It's like a way of staying involved with the fantasy while rationalizing that I'm moving past it. I don't know that I'm explaining this well. But, the longer I feel anxiety about having the fantasy, the longer I get to keep the fantasy. What I like about what you're saying is that it involves re-directing attention to our own emotional states. Breaking the connection to the fantasy and re-directing inwards. The fantasy will dissipate on its own if it has no fuel.

    On my emotional state, I've been feeling small and lost - caught up in work and struggle. That is where I want to put my energy. To rebuilding my self-esteem from within.

    I really appreciate your words, and everyone on this forum. Ever forward!
     
  17. Raging Wife

    Raging Wife Fapstronaut

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    Husband is 19 days Pfree today. Well done to you all.
     
  18. Day 7 here, thanks to all of you for your support and glad to be part of this group now! I won't be on here during the weekend because my wife will be around, so no fear of relapsing either which is nice. Will check back with you all on Monday!
     
  19. Raging Wife

    Raging Wife Fapstronaut

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    Checking in for my husband day 19
    P-free. He's had night time sweats this week and last week he had a few thoughts about watching porn. Hes been keeping himself very busy though. We have a day out planned tomorrow alone with no kids! So both looking forward to that!
     
  20. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Night sweats I have been having those too, I wonder if that is related to nofap. Hmm. Seems kind of normal but I guess I could understand how it could be related also.
     

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