Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. Hello my friends, I am back here at day 0, after probably around 4 days of going back to old habits. I feel dirty and shitty and so low, the feeling of doom and gloom have all come back to haunt me. I was doing great with a couple of good nofap weeks here and there, but this round I broke hard and went really deep and today on the 4th day all the shitty feelings have come back and remind me why I wanted to quit so badly.

    I am just posting here as a reminder to myself and to all of you that there is just nothing here but despair on this side, and just remember there was a reason you quit, and you just have to trust yourself that you made the right decision and stick to it. 2020 is just around the corner and I aim to start the new years with at least 2 weeks in. Stay strong my friends, and good luck.
  2. Hi all. I hope this finds everyone well. Its rainy and dreary here in NYC. Ive been thinking about P and what I get from it.

    TRIGGER WARNING going to talk about porn for a moment. Nothing graphic.

    Its in the eyes. Yup. I look at the body etc all the beautiful women in P vids and THATS the thing that always draws me in. The EYES. Theres been studies done and when men watch porn their eyes are drawn to the womens EYES. Obviously all the other body parts are involved but studies say we're drawn to the eyes after looking. Which leads me to conclude that were all looking for a DEEP connection. It isn't just T&A and all the other stuff. But a deeper emotion with wanting to CONNECT. Also, when stopping PMO I notice that in my personal interactions with men AND women I'm very drawn to make eye contact. But give me 12 hours of a terrible PMO binge, and I can barely make conversation or hold eye contact with ANYONE.

    This is NOT a coincidence. We lose our connection to human contact. Its science. I hope you're all working hard at this and have busy weekends planned. Idle hands do the devils business.
  3. Thank you for this. Get back on that horse and don't look back.
  4. @cleanburger so sorry to hear but thanks for the honesty. Don't beat yourself up to you know, we have all messed up a lot. I've got 3 years worth of journal entries on here to prove it. Just get back up and lean on us for support, that's what this group is all about!

    @Disciplined1 very interesting points regarding the eyes, thanks for sharing. Makes a lot of sense and I agree. I know whenever I have a long PMO session and I see my wife that same night, I can hardly afford good eye contact at all. So true.
  5. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

    That’s very insightful and I can relate now that you mention it. I’ve been making a lot more eye contact with people over the past couple of weeks. And on my longest streak I would do the same, it was like if they were staring into my soul, I had nothing to hide.
  6. Raging Wife

    Raging Wife Fapstronaut

    20 days Pfree today for hubby!
    I read on a few other posts about fantasizing about women after the 20 day mark, strangers and partners. He mentioned he was about me this morning so wondering if it's starting to take effect?
    I have also noticed he is making a lot more eye contact when taking to me. I however have gone from having a normally high sex drive to absolutely none, what so ever it feels. The last 3 times weve had intercourse I have not had an O and usually do everytime when I'm in charge so he has obviously noticed. I'm starting to think this has taken effect on my libido too somehow? It's a sad day for me!
  7. New Journey

    New Journey Fapstronaut

    Back at zero....I must ensure to check in every day.
  8. blahblah2930

    blahblah2930 Fapstronaut

    Checking in. Here to take on the weekend!
    In other news, I'm on a 3 day streak of going to the gym. Feels great
  9. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

    Ever forward. No judgment, just education. We've all been there, many times.
  10. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

    Very Very True for me as well.
  11. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

    Today seems to be going a little easier. It all moves in waves to be sure. What I like is that I'm breathing into the urges. I once had a really long streak, and remember doing just that. Breathing. Believing in myself. I got to 73 days and felt on top of the world. I think I thought I had cured myself, and thus, could celebrate... dot, dot, dot... that was almost a year ago and I've been struggling to get past a week or two ever since. This is the longest stretch I've had since that run. I'm jazzed to do it as mindfully, and communally, as possible. Great weekends to you all!
  12. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

  13. Thank you for the kind words @Disciplined1 @StraightEdge3616 !

    Check in day 1 - always the hardest for me to get back on it after a deep fall, glad to say I am back at day 1, slowly taking it one day at a time.
  14. New Journey

    New Journey Fapstronaut

    Checking in before bed.

    This addiction thing I have is really stupid. It's just a stupid habit that I have. 99% of the time I look at Porn or psubs when I don't really have an urge. Even when I look at Porn I find it extremely boring. If it wasn't for the dopamine high that I get I would've quit years ago. A new thing that I have is that I'll browse camsites. I'll browse these sites looking for the perfect girl. It never happens, obviously!

    In the end I'd jack off to a girl that I wasn't that keen on, just because. I am addicted and I must kick this dumb habit now. Battle on!
  15. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

    It sounds like we are in a similar boat, I ended up just falling victim to the same type of thing on a similar type site I am sure. I am going to reset my counter after this post. I am really thinking that this time I can get the 90 days done, no excuse is a good excuse.
  16. Welcome friend..sorry for delay ..
  17. Paf-On

    Paf-On Fapstronaut

    Yesterday and today my urge monster growing bigger...
    Luckily for me, I already join this community. So after reading inspiring article and success story it give me more strength to continue this journey....
    Thank you
  18. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

    Day 28, no real urges the past couple of days. I have noticed some gaps currently filled with boredom each day. It’s up to me to fill them with something more productive.
  19. blahblah2930

    blahblah2930 Fapstronaut

    @Paf-On Awesome job making it through the urge yesterday

    @Damomad Agreed. I'm trying to fill up all my free gaps, especially during the first 90 days of this reboot.

    Yesterday was great for me. No real urges. Read a book. Went to the gym. Felt in control of my day. Plan to repeat that today
  20. Brahmacharya_UK

    Brahmacharya_UK Fapstronaut


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