ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 30 Y.O

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

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    This put me in mind of alcohol. Some people can have a healthy relationship with alcohol. But it effects everyone differently. If a friend comes to you and says they think they might have a drink problem, you wouldn't say don't worry have a beer, everyone drinks.

    PMO is the same. If it's stopping you from living a healthy life, you need to stop.
     
  2. Raging Wife

    Raging Wife Fapstronaut

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    Hope things are not too fiery for you. I know I was absolutely raging (hence the name raging wife). You just got to let her get it out her system. Ask for a hug, if she says no ask again a bit later. Dont give up saying sorry either. You can work together using Path for you and Bloom for your wife. My husband and I are using it. Its helping lots, for me especially with the initial trauma of it all.
     
  3. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. Trying to stay busy but I have multiple serious addiction issues, not just pmo. Right now I am also trying to drink less, and bet less..addictions are a tough thing but we can all do this.
     
  4. Brahmacharya_UK

    Brahmacharya_UK Fapstronaut

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    Thanks to everyone who has posted, the Likes and encouragement and for everyone's interest to join.

    I am fortunate enough that my home town holds SAA meetings. I attended my first on Monday, and it was very helpful to meet others with the same problem and who can talk openly / frankly about these exact problems. I know I'm going to have to come to terms with some of my behaviours, and tease apart that which is "part of me" i.e. My "identity" - and "not part of me". Or perhaps "The Good" and the "Not so Good". Or even "My stuff" or "Not my stuff".

    This touches on many aspects of my appearance and the clothes I wear, and some of it is pretty ingrained, and things that I either don't want to change, or want to change but feels insurmountable. I have deliberately avoided the word "Should", which I hate...

    However I know that, taking this one day at a time, staying off pharmaceuticals, keeping off the "Crack P-caine" and being extremely mindful of what else I look at, and my thought patterns then I can get these extended periods of abstinence. I have to come to terms with the fact that I will always have this problem - but so long as I do the right things I can have hope of recovery.

    -Instantiation
     
  5. im’possible

    im’possible Fapstronaut

    Hello, got some compliments from the driving school. I didn't look like the first time driver. Well I am experienced on accidents so I do know what is like to get hurt. Besides, I did more simulations.

    The big event was awesome. Met an old friend and new peaps. Good days so far.
     
  6. Check in wednesday
    Some urges last night , but too tired for long fight which was great :)
     
    Paf-On and blahblah2930 like this.
  7. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

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    Had a weird day. In work there was a team meeting which got a bit volatile. I think the added testosterone that I have built up led to me being a bit more honest than normal. It didn't pan out how I had envisioned but at least I don't have any regrets about not speaking my mind
    Not sure if any of this is linked to NoFap but I do feel the need to be more precise in my speech.
    If NoFap leads to me getting fired from my shit job maybe we can add that to one of the benefits ha
     
  8. Relapsed here on Day 12.

    Really frustrated at myself...it gets so difficult on the second week. But I'm proud of myself for putting up a good streak...I need to do better though. Sorry everyone. First relapse since joining this group.
     
  9. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Haha @Damomad it sounds like you made some honest comments your job should be happy they have you.

    Good to hear everyone is doing well. I am staying away from the urge right now. We can do this!
     
  10. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    No need to say sorry to us. We are all our our own missions. It is a very difficult but valuable mission to take on and we are all soldiers in this fight.

    Any progress is good progress and I personally think a two week streak is very good. Great job. With your streak as motivation I hope to push on this week to make it to the new year. We can do it one day at a time.

    I almost had a relapse today but I am going to push through. We can do this.
     
  11. Hey all just checking in. Today would be a perfect day for me to relapse. Freezing, shitty weather. And Im lonely and very tired. But instead, I log into this. And hearing from everyone in here always helps. No matter where you are in this, day 100 or day 1 I congratulate you for giving it a go. Now on that note, if your doing well KEEP IT UP. And if your still messing around with P - STOP and try harder! A little tough love for you all ;) P will never solve the issues we all have. If anything, it strengthens the issues. Do some soul searching and WANT to change. Don't do it because you want 500 days or you want to get laid. Do it because you want to be happy and look people in the eyes without any anxiety and your energy intact. We can all have it if we work hard!
     
    12ove, im’possible, Damomad and 3 others like this.
  12. blahblah2930

    blahblah2930 Fapstronaut

    @StraightEdge3616 sorry to hear about the relapse. Stay in there my friend. Great job on the last streak

    Checking in today for me. Was a tough day but I'm making it through. Have some urges on my mind but I think I will go to the gym and get my mind off things and attempt to go to bed.
     
  13. Time for new attempt friend . You can make it this time
    Check in thursday
     
  14. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

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    Amen brother.

    No matter how shitty a day I’m having, being able to open up on here and be satisfied with staying away from my addiction gives me great hope.
     
  15. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

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    Hi All, just checking in. So much to report. My wife (who discovered this forum, and that I was/am pushing to reboot and end my compulsion to porn) and I went to our first couple's therapy session with this info. It was hard and scary, and scary and hard, and, I believe, profoundly positive. I'm not preaching full transparency in our journey. But, what i found in talking was that i'm proud of all of us on this forum, and those working to get past porn. We're marching.

    I do believe my greatest deficiency is a fear of intimacy, or maybe an underdeveloped understanding of how to be vulnerable, and confident, and sexual and all the rest. Porn was my way of dealing for so many years with my feelings. Now, I'm trying to live that out loud.

    It all starts here though. On these pages. Recognizing that we're triggered, logging on, and writing, connecting, recognizing ourselves in each other.

    Still pretty freaked out by all the events going on, but for today, I'm committing not to turn to porn to lose myself to those feelings.

    I'm proud of all of you. Happy Thursday to you. We're doing it.
     
  16. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

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    You are an inspiration man. It takes real guts to be so open, honest and vulnerable. I've been feeling recently that I was destined to log-on and say enough is enough on the day I did. Going through this journey together, acknowledging that we are victims of the internet age but turning the victimisation into a pillar of strength for each other.

    Tonight I had my 2nd date. We connected, and the eyes god, the eyes. I've never thought how connected I was to the eyes in porn until it was mentioned on this forum the other day. I used to feel pangs of shame looking into the eyes of girls I was attracted to IRL. Now it's like I have nothing to hide.
     
  17. Had a lot of urges tonight. Didn't look at anything more serious than a couple of dumb YouTube vids (no porn). But I know its still dangerous and we all know where it leads. So came right over here to check in with my people. I have a nice head going these days (some mental fog, loneliness) and that shame and anxiety god I just don't want to deal with it. So I'm taking my own advice and TRYING HARDER and will be once again not tempting myself. It just doesn't work. Stay strong everyone and DO NOT TEASE YOURSELF with p subs. It all goes down the same road. Im not perfect but I am resilient and I have integrity and need to keep my own word to myself.
     
  18. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Everyone seems to be staying very strong which is motivating me to keep up the streak.

    Checking in today there was very little temptation which is a great sign. Generally for me that is a sign of staying busy and healthy.

    Another day! I won't be able to check in as much over the next couple of weeks while I am on vacation but I will do my best to be on when I can.
     
  19. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Another check in from another temptation day. We can do this, one day at a time!
     

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