ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 30 Y.O

The morning of day 3 here. I had some nightmares and involving sex and had morning wood in the middle of the night when I got up to pee around 3am. Very rare for me to get erections spontaneously. And this morning I was thinking lustful thoughts until I realized what was happening and redirected my focus. Finally just decided to get out of bed. I can remember past periods of PMO abstinence streaks (from a few weeks ago) that lasted 5 days or 7 days and it felt A LOT EASIER.

Some quits go easier. But this current one will be a bumpy ride. Now I wish I had no fapped on the last one that lasted 11 days and that one felt like an "easy ride". Right around the time I first joined this forum and had quit PMO I would have had 90 days on New Years day of 2020 if I had kept that quit.

Oh well, no way to go back in time. All I can say is that it is totally not worth it to throw away a good streak

 

I'm in. Day 6 and it seems like longer.

 

Didnt sleep well either because i'm pmo free, its alright i would gladly take this over being a pmo addict still pushing forward!

 

@ready to end,

How are you doing, buddy?

 

Totally agree, as challenging as this is, breaking a streak and starting over can be the most difficult of all. In it for the long haul. The 90 days will arrive for you once more. As tired a platitude as it is, "one day at a time" really is what it is about.

I'm really noticing some of my addictive behavours transforming in other ways, be that drinking too much caffeine - playing too much video games, procrastinating at work etc. Experiencing a lot of anxiety, though that could also be because of going clean from pharms as well.

I know that I just have to eat well, sleep plenty and be kind to myself - and over a period of time recovery will develop.

 

I got off the psych meds many years ago for depression and social anxiety. Many of these psychiatrists do not know what they are doing, Readjusting people's entire brain chemistry. I used to feel like a zombie on those things.

I also am making this PMO-free streak a cleansing from all vices. So cut out alcohol, cigarettes also and have reduced caffeine consumption to less than 1 cup per day. So its quite a reboot for the brain on any levels....as you can imagine I will endure periods of discomfort along the journey.

 

I’ve been on depression meds for years. I cut my dosage in half slowly. I want to ease totally off.

 

Add me. And good luck (and hard work) to all!

 

Yes, just remember to reward yourself here and there! An expensive meal for a nice streak or something you've wanted to treat yourself to. Ive cut out alcohol as well and it is tough of course.

 

Sounds great. Looking forward to my 30 day Meal Fit for a King

 

Ok still pushing forward i got to write to remind myself how my inside absolutely has no interest in being a fapper but my addiction brain keeps pushing me to fap.
The good news is that after 7-10 days it does start getting easier...

 

32 years old from the UK.

I've joined this forum with the main purpose of getting at least one accountability buddy who I can support from relapsing and who can support me too.

I've tried in my 18 plus years of fapping to quit many times and obviously have failed every time, usually within just a few days.

I'm recently married, wanting to start a family soon so I have to commit to it this time, I've tried on my own and it hasn't worked so hopefully with some help from some others trying to do the same thing it will be more successful this time.

The main thing I need to quit is porn, I'm not giving up having sex with my wife as I think it's very important to a healthy relationship. Giving up porn is the hardest thing for me, I don't jerk off without it so that is the root of my problem.

One of my issues is that I, like I'm sure all of you, have a very high sex drive so if I don't jerk off I'm going to want sex way more than my wife does so it's a real struggle to not put too much pressure on her.

 

Woo full week of NoFap...! I cant believe i just wrote that its been so long since that happened. Things are looking rosey, of course fap brain just wants to screw this all up but i am not going to allow myself to do so. Pushing forward.. Two weeks would be absolutely amazing...
Oh and yesterday i did a workout lifted and feel really physically well. Why on earth do i always let this fap habit come back into my life!? Life is so much better without fapping.

 

Day 4 today. Had nightmares again last night and i have a lot of stress in my life such as a HUGE family party this weekend where family from all over the Earth is going to be there and peppering me with questions:

"What kind of work are you doing?"
"Do you have a girlfriend? Who are you dating?"

It is always a disgrace to answer. I am ashamed of being such a failure in life at this point. I dont have much going for me, just came off of a 1 week long alcohol bender about 5 days ago. Im thinking to not show up at all to the party but it would break my Mother's heart since its her birthday party. But then if I do show up I will be judged and gazed upon as a total loser and now I JUST STARTED lifting weights after 2 years of sedentary but since i just started this week it is NOT GOOD ENOUGH and I dont have any results to show. So even though I am doing almost EVERYTHING in my power to make positive life changes I still look like a loser to them.

It sucks man, sometimes i just want to move to Idaho or some other remote place and start all over with a clean slate because this bad reputation follows me like my shadow. And my family especially will never be proud of me since I am not a millionaire or a famous celebrity or a bodybuilder fitness model. I will never measure up to what they expect out of me so sometimes I just want to move away and never speak to any of them ever again. F8ck Them.

 

I feel you bro! In reality they all feel the way you do from someone else. The guy who is worth 2 mill feels totally useless compared to the guy who has 200 mil and he feels like a nothing in the presence of a billionaire etc. (not only applicable money applicable with looks spouse family etc etc).
Keep pushing forward and you will make your own wins, its the only way.

Once i realized that i will never feel like a winner around everyone and that they feel the exact same way around other people in their lives, i came to terms with it and its much easier to deal with. Some people ill feel incompetent around and that's ok.

Good luck bro! Keep winning and success will come from unlikely places. I have seen it time and time again.

 

Totally with you on the "Zombie" aspect, I have a couple of scripts that I am trying to wean myself off from (With help from NA). They were for Pain, but now I find it hard to function and deal with everything when I'm not taking them. Need to give it time for my normal brain to return I suppose.

It sounds like you have set your self a real challenge (Call it Ultra-Hard Mode?) and I tip my hat to you. I don't smoke or drink so thankfully I haven't got to give those up, but I did a caffeine free day today, And only because I wrote my intention to do so in my calendar.I got to that point yesterday where I thought: "If I drink caffeine again tomorrow, then this time tomorrow I still wont be able to sleep properly"

But trying to work with a pounding caffeine withdrawal headache...? Not too good - I need to look up "Caffeine Addicts Anonymous" and get some help I think.

 

Hi @sirpsycho,

Thanks for your post. I'm sure you will be more than welcome here my friend. We have a combined 46 days of recovery amongst ourselves (and possibly more) and we'd love for you to help us add to that.

My understanding of NoFap is that sex with partners is still ok, Any tantric tradition would also say that energy is not so much lost with a partner as it is gained, but that's for another forum I would guess.

Myself and many of us here are No-PMO. For myself, it is mainly because P invariably leads to MO. However you know yourself better than anyone else and what is reasonable and practicable for you and your life situation.
It sounds like you are wanting to "decouple" the P from the (M)O, I think there are others on this site and reddit doing the same.

I'm not in a relationship myself, but you may find others on her who are and can relate to you and your situation.
I wish you all the very best in your efforts to start a family and hope we can wish you congratulations in due course.

Peace, Instantiation.

 

Thanks to all those who have welcomed me so far, if you can relate to my story and think you could be an accountability partner please drop me a message.