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Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.
Check in saturday . No urges which is great for me . I hate them . I dont care for the flatline.
Checking in, drank heavily last night with friends but have avoided all the normal hangover triggers so far.
Cried for the first time in a while today. It was set off by the anniversary of a friends death but even with that my emotions have been all over the place recently.
Checking in quickly here. Tired and triggered and alone at work. When I'm tired, I'm pretty spacey, and it's easy to rationalize surfing. Which leads to... dot dot dot... but not today. No psubs, no p. Just left foot, right foot and marching through the day. It's so true how some days go easily enough and then, as if from out of the blue, another tough one comes strolling in.
Have great weekends everyone!
My God, do I feel like detonating. My mind is just whirling with rationalizations as to why it would be totally fine to go surfing pics. What is up with that? I want more than anything to keep marching forward and get to at least 90 days porn free. For the 1001 reasons we're all looking to do that. And, marching lock step today, is the voice that says such a pursuit isn't worth it.
A friend told me that our porn addled minds crave dopamine. That much of what we go looking for is that hit of dopamine. This feeling I'm having today I suppose is jonesing. Anything can be a trigger. I'm sure you all know what this feels like. It's a schizophrenic mind to be sure.
I needed to come on here so as not to take my eyes elsewhere. I may flood the forum today with posts. Most of which will say the exact same thing. Oy.
Just on the subject of dopamine, For the past year I had been suffering from really bad restless legs at night and had used masturbation to calm them. I read online people who’s dopamine levels were out of whack, they needed a hit to put the legs to rest.
After 33 NoFap days by legs seem more settled, so maybe my dopamine centres are back to centre. Although I’m under no illusion that I’m fixed yet.
Well done on not surfing today, have you been using a porn blocker? I have one on the phone and it’s one added obstacle that makes a world of difference. Keep marching man, we’re right behind you!
Checking in. Feeling great the past few days! I'm starting to get my confidence back and feel very strong.
@colio Yes, dopamine is essentially a drug hit. Humans are wired to crave dopamine - we need it and it's an essential part of us. The problem is not dopamine itself. The problem is when we associate dopamine with the wrong or unhealthy things, such as porn. I think it's good to find healthier ways to get that dopamine rush.
Drug addicts get dopamine from getting high (unhealthy)
Porn addicts get dopamine from porn (unhealthy)
Social media addicts get dopamine from likes (unhealthy)
Runners get dopamine from running (healthy)
Athletes get dopamine from winning (healthy)
Chefs get dopamine from making delicious food (healthy)
Business owners get dopamine from making sales (healthy)
Programmers get dopamine from solving problems (healthy)
I think the more we associate dopamine with the right things, the better habits and lifestyles we start building.
Check in Day 16
Check in day 28. LOTS of urges this weekend. Again looked at a few things I probably shouldn't have (no P) and wasn't feeling lonely but very horny all weekend. Didn't break though. Looking forward to a trip to LA today for 3 weeks. Generally when I travel I can stay busy enough to try to avoid weak scenarios where I might falter. But I'll stay vigilant. This is so important and I have to stay strong. Good luck to everyone in here
Holiday stress can be tough. We're going to not give in!
So I've been texting this girl this evening and I just had an epiphany.
One of my major triggers is when anything suggestive is written in a text message. I've had this problem since the old days of MSN and chatrooms. The teasing would lead to me masturbating and then losing all interest/drive. The chat itself and the dopamine hit of the release became a barrier to a relationship.
I feel like this is another instance where technology has been used as a crutch to get me to orgasm. Rather than having to put the effort with a girl to build a relationship.
36 days in, tonight was the closest I've been to cracking but I didnt.
How’s everyone holding up? The holidays can either be a welcome distraction or with all the alcohol, a trigger fueled mess.
Right on! It's insane how hard it can be in these waves. But you did it!
Signed on to write that I'm feeling tired and triggered. Then, read a few posts before starting this. Immediately I felt better. This forum is so helpful. Thanks all for your responses and for your journeys. We're doing it. Left foot, right foot.
Another couple days and it seems we are all fighting along in our journeys. I am currently on vacation, but I will still have to work but it is much easier to keep a healthy mindset when on vacation.
Urges have not been as strong
Just checking in - Day 3
I've relapsed on the P, lightly M but not O.
Back to the drawing board while I've still got at least some energy and wherewithall to understand my disease better and formulate a solution.
@Instantiation Sorry to hear. Happens to all of us. Good that you stopped before O.
Hey man, for me I had to break the habit and avoid to normal situations where I could access P. If it’s in the house, I try and only access the laptop when out in public. If it’s the phone, I put the phone on airplane mode with a P blocker or switched off.
Are there any common situations you can think of?
This forum is a life saver. I don’t feel as much of an island anymore. There’s no one in my life that I feel I could share this with, so it’s a much needed outlet for something that consuming too much of my thinking.
Dealing with those triggers head on and overcoming makes the will stronger!
Checkin day 4 - holidays have started here, its going to be a particularly rough time for me due to the stresses cause I realised stress is my #1 trigger as I use PMO to 'not feel bad'. Whenever I get stressed I immediately get a feeling down there and my brain tries to rationalize why it would be a good idea.
Anyone have any tips to get my headspace out of rationalizing why it would be a good idea?
Also happy holidays to everyone, and stay strong!