ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 30 Y.O

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

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    P Subs (my take is that they're titillating pics / erotica lit that aren't explicitly porn) are no bueno for me. They inevitably lead me in one direction and one direction only. I start chasing a dopamine dragon. Maybe that day, I'll look at a few, I don't know, fashion model photos, then the next day, do it again, and then, I'll be tired, or whatever, and I'll relapse.

    Obviously this is a to-each-their-own, but I find it a bit like edging, and a bit too dangerous for me personally to mess around with. It's going to happen, but what I am looking to do is when I find myself triggering fantasy with some pic or another, I look to break that gaze, close the image, regroup and breathe.
     
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  2. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

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    One thing I'm noticing is that I have at least one or two (or more) powerful urges daily to fantasize, or go scrolling. After my first few weeks, that's become the norm. It's sometimes rough. I'm thinking this may not go away, but what I'm hoping to establish is that the associated urge to behave in a certain way will wither and fade. I'm hoping.

    Big shout out to you all. Monday Check In! Coffee.
     
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  3. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

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    Following up on @Damomad 's question re: the 1st page numbers. @control your life are we still doing that? Purely from a selfish point of view, I've liked seeing the trophy at day 90. It's my little bell I hope to one day ring.

    Thanks so much @control your life for keeping this forum going.
     
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  4. Yup agreed 100%. for me, scrolling insta is pretty much like a P sub.

    I tell myself 'I am just looking for interesting/fun things', when deep down I know i want something to pop up and get aroused by it. so far almost 100% of my relapses started with 'just browsing instagram'. Since then I have used an app blocker and set a notification for my good friends post/stories so I will only open insta to catch up with my friends and no other reason.
     
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  5. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    This has all been really helpful for me. Thank you all so much! I am going to stay off insta as much as possible for sure!

    We can do this!
     
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  6. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    I think from the posts above you have probably gathered the meaning. For me it is literally any type of picture women... I think this is because I used to M to magazines with pics of women in them...lol being a prepubesent was a different time

    I have tried to reset while viewing p subs, it does not have the same effect. My brain tends towards addiction more than most. I was previously addicted to an app similar to insta so I need to stay away from insta....FB seems fine for me, and pictures of women are fine as long as I do not start obsessing over their lovely lady lumps
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2020
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  7. blahblah2930

    blahblah2930 Fapstronaut

    Checking in. Getting closer and closer to the 30 day mark! Can't wait to get there.

    As for p-subs. I avoid at all costs. It leads down a dangerous road
     
  8. prophecy86

    prophecy86 Fapstronaut

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    Hello. I'm interested in joining and accountability group. I'd like to find a safe area to post/discuss regular updates and also if there was someone to reach out to about stopping urges in the moment. 33 y/o male from the US. I tried NF last year and it worked initially but my AP group fizzled out and I had a few resets. I'd like to start fresh for 2020.
     
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  9. Psubs absolutely no good. As most say here, it only leads to one thing. The ONLY way I can do this is absolutely no sub or P or anything.
     
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  10. Somethingsgottachange

    Somethingsgottachange Fapstronaut

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    Can I join this group? Or are there no free spots?
     
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  11. Somethingsgottachange

    Somethingsgottachange Fapstronaut

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    By the way. 33 yo male. New to this, just reached a point where I have to do something about my problem. Going on 36 hours
     
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  12. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Just checking in. Got a few minutes before work. Probably going to have an insta free day. No P subs! They have been showing up in my youtube, the distortions are out there. Must avoid.
     
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  13. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

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    So it’s funny you should mention this because I found out the hard way last night.

    I had been looking at my phone texting friends between 10pm and 11pm, i clicked on a news article which happened to arouse me. I put the phone away then go to bed, couldn’t get the thought of the article out of head and one thing leads to another. Personally, even though the long term goal is just about giving up porn, I could feel the dopamine hit even from the thought of the article. So I guess I’ve reset and I’m back to day 1.

    It’s always the same time of evening for me and 90% of the time the phone is the trigger.
     
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  14. colio

    colio Fapstronaut

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    So hear you. Listen, the main thing isn't to beat yourself up about it at all. It's all about learning and getting info. Knowing what you know about the phone and night, that sounds like the key to me. Honestly, to me, it's not about any number of days or any of that, it's about getting comfortable with the feelings that led and lead us to porn. The day counts and the rest might be nice to see (and give their own little dopamine hits), but they're the means to an end. The end is and remains self-acceptance and recognizing our selves as profoundly worthy.

    As frustrating as it may seem, I think you scored a win by learning more about yourself. PSubs are a daily slalom. I mean we're barraged with imagery that is designed specifically to arouse us and get us to associate that feeling with some commodity or another. We're all in this together. Sending big positivity your way.
     
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  15. Damomad

    Damomad Fapstronaut

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    Appreciate the kind words @colio

    I'm a bit like @12ove in that I used to M to magazines with pics of women, wouldn't even need to be scantily clad. I honestly think even without the internet, I'd be having the same issues. Psubs (see, I'm learning) can't be avoided entirely but they can be avoided during my trigger time after 9pm, espicially on the phone.

    The crux of my problem is blocking out feelings of lonliness with M at night. Instead of dealing with them like an adult, forcing myself to meet women, I use M and P to block out the responsibilties. Being my first day back at work after the holidays, I struggled to sleep last night, a thousand thoughts going through my head. The little dopamine hits you get from Whatsapp etc didn't help either.

    It's amazing how reasonable I can be now, looking at it objectively. I'm sitting in my room on a gateway to all the P I could ever imagine but I'd rather comment on this forum to other guys about P issues.

    I made it to 50 days and I'm focused on doing another 50. Even hearing that other guys struggle with Psubs has been a learning. I'm sure we're all more alike than we'll ever know.
     
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  16. New Journey

    New Journey Fapstronaut

    Just checking in. I haven't looked at P, but I stupidly created a facebook profile to look at pictures of girls. I realised my mistake and deleted it. I'm such an idiot. Anyway, I'm still clean. I have to ensure that I don't do that again. To day 18.
     
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  17. im’possible

    im’possible Fapstronaut

    Been there, done that, you're not alone. My p-sub now is music. I sing karaoke once awhile. I get the same good feeling. Except this one is not defined as a relapse.

    Happy new year to all.
     
  18. Hey everyone, checking in here! On Day 8, so doing my best to stay strong.
     
  19. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    everyone's definition of a relapse is up to them to determine
     
  20. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Signed on because I was thinking about checking insta..not gonna do it!

    Another Taco Tuesday! We can do this!
     

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