ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP FOR PEOPLE ABOVE 30 Y.O

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by control your life, Nov 11, 2019.

  1. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the insight on how it’s affected you. I agree that a lot of it boils down to self esteem issues. Glad to see you’re on the path to recovery, and I’ll definitely check out the video.
     
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  2. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    Day 44:
    Urges to relapse are getting less and less. I did have a chaser effect earlier after having an O with the wife, but managed to push the thought of porn out of my head, and found something constructive to do. Without going into detail, I’m starting to notice some improvement on my PIED. What a shocker, right? I can absolutely attest to the fact that binging on porn frequently will have adverse effects on real sex. 44 days already feels like a long time, but it’s just a start, and I look forward to continuing my recovery. Have a great weekend, y’all!
     
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  3. Thenofapper

    Thenofapper Fapstronaut

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  4. Thenofapper

    Thenofapper Fapstronaut

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  5. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the group!
     
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  6. Hail To The Thief

    Hail To The Thief Fapstronaut

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    This is interesting, thanks for sharing it. I’ve never really thought about it and the link to self-esteem makes sense, although I think that has a lot to do with my use of PM in general. I never thought of femdom as a separate issue that you need to recover from but I appreciate reading about your guys perspectives on the topic.

    48 days for me and I’m loving my new relationship with sex and P and M. I think about it so much less. I feel less horny in a good way, and when my wife and I get intimate it’s more meaningful and I’m able to be more present. I don’t objectify and sexualize every cute girl I see. I have so much more time! And I don’t feel as much shame about how I spend my time.

    I’ve had some tougher times than others, a few times I felt like I was fighting off an urge but mostly I’m able to just notice it and choose not to give in and move on. I’ve had a few dreams about it that feel like the relapse dreams I had when I was quitting drugs and alcohol and cigarettes, but the only thing that made those go away was accumulating time not giving in. I have spent so much time giving in and so little time not giving in, so every day that I don’t PMO I’m slowly evening out that balance.
     
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  7. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    Good to see everyone is doing well. Lets keep it up! No M August!

    @Thenofapper welcome to the group, you are in the right place!
     
  8. Thanks @12ove I appreciate it! Checking in. Today went ok. Have some tough homework assignments but was able to almost get through the problems. They're tough but I see progress. Its very difficult for me to be patient with it. Thanks guys for the encouragement.
     
  9. I relapsed a couple days ago, Thursday morning, after a pretty crazy dream that was just one big temptation. I have been having a pity party since Thursday so it’s time to get back up. I know the question is “what was the trigger” and really, right now, I feel my entire life is one big trigger. The loneliness I’ve dealt with my entire life, is a trigger. The boredom of not having anything to do or have a passion for anything, is a trigger. The anger and frustration I have towards my mother who I also take care of, is a trigger. Past memories of sexual molestation, is a trigger. Feeling lost with no purpose, is a trigger. And these are just some triggers.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 2, 2020
  10. Brahmacharya_UK

    Brahmacharya_UK Fapstronaut

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    hey @Liberation111,

    Thanks for the post and the questions. I have chosen the name because it means"right path" and it's basis is in moderate celibacy and not to overload the senses.

    It isa difficult path but ultimately worth it, by forcing ourselves to avoid these triggers, I have more energy. If I engage in meaningful activities, then these can become imbued with this energy and take on the creative spirit.

    I am one of those people that can talk alot, and listen alot and even sometimes wrote alot about the problems I have and what I am going to do.

    ultimately I lack action. Whether it's calling up a member of the NA or SAA fellowship, or doing step work, I make excuses to do something else, then my resentment breeds and leads me to a relapse, whether that is taking medications or PMO!




     
  11. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    I am sorry you are feeling this way, and that you have gone through those things. This may come off as harsh, but each of us has plenty of excuses, call them what you want, but it is better to be fair with your mind and also at least consider them excuses...each one can be broken down. Lonliness should be used, boredom should be quenched, no passion is due to lack of exposure..the rest should be used to heal and balance...have you considered searching out some form of healing for those past traumas? and difficult family relationships. I would recommend a high dose of a psychadelic with an experienced plant medicine worker, shaman, or guide.
     
  12. DudeAlex

    DudeAlex Fapstronaut
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    I have stayed away from P for 55 days, but I keep M. I hope my wife is not too pissed off when I tell her I did it this morning as a chaser after last night with her. I feel proud that I have been P-free for almost two months, but I want to work on not M now.

    A couple weeks ago or so, I confessed to my wife that I had been lying for our whole relationship about PM, saying I had been good while still doing it all along. She was extremely hurt, and now she has trouble trusting and believing me, which of course I understand and respect. I will tell her if she asks that I M; I will no longer lie about it. I installed nanny software on our network so that trust will be slightly easier between us, although obviously I could get around it if I tried, so she still has to trust me not to do that. I will not try to get around the software, I know. I think about P, but it is not too strong of a temptation anymore.

    Now I just have to work on not M. Day zero on that.
     
  13. zeusmx

    zeusmx Fapstronaut

    You’re doing brace things @MattDog . Telling to your wife was a big step. I’m sure with her help and our companionship in NoFap you’ll get it.
     
  14. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    Day 46:
    I’m sure at some point I’ll stop paying attention to the day counter, but right now it’s helping me stay on track, so I’ll continue doing it for the moment. I’m feeling a lot of gratitude towards this website and my fellow nofappers right about now. Having a place to visit anytime and discuss PM addiction with fellow addicts has been a godsend. Willpower alone is sometimes not enough, and I don’t think I would’ve made it this far without the help from this website. Kicking porn to the curb and regaining our true selves is within reach, especially when we’ve got each other’s backs. Stay strong and don’t look back!
     
  15. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    That’s a great point about sex feeling more meaningful. In the last few weeks I’ve felt a deeper connection with my wife, especially when we’re intimate. Porn has a way of dulling real human connections. I’ve also kicked social media out of my life recently, and that has been a wise decision for myself as well. Glad to hear of your continuing success!
     
  16. 12ove

    12ove Fapstronaut

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    You just made a lot of commitments to us, and your wife. We will hold you to those if you are honest with us and yourself. You can do it! We are here for you! Congrats on the 50 days of no M, that is a great step now it is time to build on it.
     
  17. Rebooter21

    Rebooter21 New Fapstronaut

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  18. Rebooter21

    Rebooter21 New Fapstronaut

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    I'd like to join this group. How can I do that? Thank you
     
  19. mindseyeopen

    mindseyeopen Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the group! It’s that easy.
     
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  20. Checking in. Was having a real tough time working through my problem sets but I decided to do my work out (I didn't do it in the morning) and was able to figure it out eventually. I noticed how dangerous boredom is for me. It's almost a trigger because my mind looks to PMO to fill that void. Not this time. Stay strong gentlemen
     

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