Accountability Journal

Ouu, where do I even start, Back to day 0! After a sorrowful PMO session, I feel so empty right now. I just want to fill my head with this feeling so every time I pick up my device to look up naked women I would remember how I hated this feeling and not do it. And also, I feel like a cheater and a shitty lover. I thought I was using porn as some sort of coping mechanism for not being in a relationship and feeling lonely most times but I was blessed with this amazing girl who wonderfully came into my life but I still dwell in this path of filth as of this day.
Now I know that this problem is more than just being lonely. It has to do with something on the inside. I wish to better myself and I really do mean it but my high sex drive just makes me doubt my limits. I don't even know what I saying right now, my brain is just flooded with lots of crap rn which is another problem I face from masturbating earlier on. Only I can save myself.