accountability partner needed

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Disciplined1, Nov 9, 2019.

  1. Disciplined1

    Disciplined1 Fapstronaut

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    Hi there

    I'm on day 6 and am looking for an accountability partner. 44 years old been using porn since I was a kid. Im getting it out of my life. I've tried PMO a few times. 39 days was my longest, but I'm putting more effort in this time. I'd like to check in with someone every 24-48 hours. Nothing crazy, just some thoughts on what we're thinking, how to get through it etc. Let me know if you'd be interested. Thanks!
     
  2. animalhouse

    animalhouse Fapstronaut

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  3. animalhouse

    animalhouse Fapstronaut

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    Just getting used to this forum --


    I am on Day 2 and am determined. I could use someone to check in with. I am 58, recently divorced, and am serious about wanting this out of my life.
     
  4. Disciplined1

    Disciplined1 Fapstronaut

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    Thats great. Everyday gets better. I'm really tired of it. I'm done. What are your coping mechanisms?
     
  5. animalhouse

    animalhouse Fapstronaut

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    Honestly the desire to have sex again is a huge motivator. I’ve gone through a separation and divorce. The first woman I’ve been with in 20+ years last week didn’t go so well.I don’t want that to happen again and I reallyWant my sex life back.
     
  6. Disciplined1

    Disciplined1 Fapstronaut

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    I totally understand. I was with a woman recently and it didn't go as planned either. But you know what, I laughed it off because I know from reading about PMO that with time everything gets back to normal. You just need to be patient. Even older guys like us they say it can take a shorter amount of time for us to regain the mojo. Just have to stick to it.
     
  7. animalhouse

    animalhouse Fapstronaut

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    I am 58, so when it happened, I panicked inside. I am sticking to it, working out, trying to take care of myself. I think I need to be patient. I'm always checking for wood. :)
     
    Disciplined1 likes this.
  8. animalhouse

    animalhouse Fapstronaut

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    Hope you are doing well. Hang in there. We can DO this!
     
    Disciplined1 likes this.
  9. Disciplined1

    Disciplined1 Fapstronaut

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    Im doing well, thanks! Feeling pretty strong, but that can always change. I understand your a bit older than me, but really I don't think its much of a difference. Your NOT broken physically, its this bullshit porn that wants us to feel that way. It just takes time. Your body has to heal from the things your brain has adjusted to. Its science, really! A MAJOR key for me is to not peep, not cheat and keep your brain as 'clean' as possible. For instance I was scrolling through my news feed and clicked on a pic of a pop singer in a sexy outfit. I said to myself 'why are you looking?'. You have to keep tabs on yourself. Thats how the downward spiral starts. Stay strong!
     
  10. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

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    Be very careful at 9 days. I relapsed at 11 days just recently. The temptations can strike out of nowhere. Sometimes we just go on auto-pilot and next thing we know we are in bed with our pants off and edging.

    For me it became a daily routine to fap one off always at midnight and right before bedtime. Did same ritual for years and didnt matter if I had a gf or not it was automatic.

    I had to start over but I wish both of you guys great success. Stay strong and dont steep in sexual thoughts because if you steep in them for too long it leads in a logical progression to self-touching.
     
  11. animalhouse

    animalhouse Fapstronaut

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    I know that i need to be careful. I am a little too obsessed with my hardness and find myself touching to see my status. So far, I have not been tempted to masterbate, but I know the threat is always there and the decision to cave is often quick. Im in a good place now and have a girl I have been seeing that I could probably be honest with, however I have not done that so far. Be vigilant.
     
  12. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

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    You 2 guys are welcome to join our newest accountability group here:

    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/accountability-group-for-people-above-30-y-o.256920/unread

    I joined it and we have a daily check-in and roll call. @animalhouse I am only on Day after losing an 11 day streak. Glad you found a nice girl. But if I where you I would not tell her about your PMO problems. The risk is too high that it may scare her away. Thats just my advice on the matter. If it was me I would not even mention it until after you had been having sex for over 90 days together.

    Having a girlfriend may make all the difference. Im very happy for you and hope I can be in a similar position soon. I have been by myself for over 6 months, not even a single date
     
  13. animalhouse

    animalhouse Fapstronaut

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    Demo, I went through a divorce after a 25 year marriage and it crushed me. I haven't been with anyone for four years, and I thought that part of my life was gone. I am so determined to stop using porn and masterbating. I know I have a challenge ahead of me, and I am grateful to have a girl at this point. I don't know how serious the relationship is, but it feels good to have her. I have not spoken to her about PMO and I appreciate your thoughts. I have been reluctant to address it, but our last encounter did not go well and I almost felt like I needed to explain. Someone advised me to concentrate on pleasing her and I think that seems like a good plan.
     
    Disciplined1 likes this.
  14. animalhouse

    animalhouse Fapstronaut

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    By the way, your 6 months will make you strong. I wish I would have used my four years better than wallowing in my pain and licking my wounds (and using porn). You will be a better man for the right woman now.
     
    Disciplined1 and Demodectic like this.
  15. Disciplined1

    Disciplined1 Fapstronaut

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    yes its so easy to get to the edging 'just looking point'. Just a few minutes ago I started to click on some images or news articles I knew would give me a little thrill. Absolutely shut it down right away and came over here. Starting over is ok! Its giving up that isn't:)
     

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