Achieved 90 days no PMO, debating whether or not to continue

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by op_jack, Jan 10, 2021.

  1. op_jack

    op_jack Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,

    today I'll reach 90 days no PMO for the first time, I've been trying for about a year and have had streaks up to about a month before. I'm really glad I went on this journey and I'm convinced I'm never going to watch porn again. However I don't really see any benefits that no masturbation would give me were I to continue no PMO. I've seen many different opinions on Nofap and other places about the use of no MO past 90 days and I would love to hear what some of you guys think.

    Firstly a short summary of my 90 days journey and what benefits I did/didn't see:

    I started no PMO mainly because I have terrible social anxiety and I hoped Nofap would help and because I starting disliking myself more and more for watching porn and I didn't feel in control anymore.
    I have been meditating for about 15 minutes daily since the start and have been taking daily cold showers for about 3 weeks. The main reason I believe why I succeeded this time where I failed several times before is because I stopped putting too much focus on no PMO and made it into just one part of general self-improvement.

    The benefits I do feel are:
    - higher feeling of selfworth
    - less depression
    - more energy and productivity (mainly since I started taking cold showers)
    * most benefits come down to me feeling better about myself and less dependent on others for happiness.

    The benefits I don't feel are:
    - physical improvements like better skin/better gymresults etc.
    - easyer to talk to people/look people in the eye (maybe there is a small difference bit it is hard to see due to corona/quarantaine)
    - less social anxiety, no direct effect from no PMO but I do feel like I have more strength/motivation to really start working on myself.
    * basically the so called 'superpowers', these have been non-existant to me.

    My main outtakes from the past 90 days are
    - No porn is where all the benefits came from for me personally
    - even though no PMO didn't do what I initially hoped from it, the effects have been pretty big. For the first time since I was a little kid I feel like I am on the way to fully overcoming depression/low feelings of self worth
    - the advertised 'superpowers' either
    1. are a myth
    2. get undone by wet dreams
    3. only exist if you used to masturbate very frequently (1+ times a day)
    - cold showers are amazing and have a direct effect
    - meditation is more of a long term thing, but goes really well with no PMO and can be a big help once you really get into it.

    Now I've completed my 90day journey I'm not sure yet how to continue. I'm leaning towards going just no P, but my sole motivation behind this is to prevent wet dreams, which make me feel worse in every way than M does. However if there are some benefits to continuing that make it worth it I'm willing to continue. I do want to make a decision so I don't have to feel like I 'relapsed' out of a lack of motivation/not making a clear decision.

    Would appreciate any comments, thanks in advance! :)
     
  2. Slowlybutsurely

    Slowlybutsurely Fapstronaut

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    WELL DONE!
    Did you suffer any PIED before you started your 90 days and did you suffer many flatlines?
     
  3. bulldawg1970

    bulldawg1970 Fapstronaut

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    If you can MO with absolutely no porn or any other sexual images then I don't see anything wrong with it, it is natural. Besides isn;t that what we are all here for is to destroy porn and get back our normal lives before this shit? Congrats, sounds like you slain the dragon
     
    TheForsakeen and Wildfires like this.
  4. open_your_eyes

    open_your_eyes Fapstronaut

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    I am new here. My main goal was to quit porn so I thought I will go with just "P". But every time when I fap, images from what I saw on certain sites are always playing in my head, which makes it risky, so I will give up masturbation also and go "PMO" for at least one week. Then I am thinking about continuing "P" and allowing myself masturbation onec a week, always at similar time probably. Maybe I will change it after I will learn more , but from what I know so far... masturbation itself isn't all that harmful if you don't do it too often (like in my plan onec a week) and without P of course. It would be still massive change from what I was doing. I masturbated on avarage like 3-4 times a day while watching P, which definatelly isn't good and I expect to see some possitive changes. Also wet dreams are definatelly thing I want to avoid.
    Btw, I suffer from social anxiety also.
     
    Slowlybutsurely likes this.
  5. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

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    Masturbation is the gateway back to porn use. I’ve been in recovery from sex addiction for 6 years. I’ve hit 90+ days once and 60+ days a few times. Every time I think I have it under control and that I can masturbate without porn I’m back to the porn within a few weeks or so. The underrated aspect of porn/sex addiction is fantasy. We think of it as a harmless distraction. It’s not. And unless you can masturbate like robot you are going to have to engage in fantasy. After awhile the fantasy is no longer going to produce the same “high” as it did at first. The brain will demand more stimulation. Maybe it will start as bikini or lingerie models. Or soft core stuff on YouTube. But eventually it’s going to lead you right back to the beginning of a viscous cycle. I would give anything to have 90 days right now. I’m starting over again right now and I know the withdrawal is going to be a *****. Stay the course. You won’t regret it.
     
    TheForsakeen and open_your_eyes like this.
  6. open_your_eyes

    open_your_eyes Fapstronaut

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    I definatelly agree with what you wrote. Especialy with:

    "After awhile the fantasy is no longer going to produce the same “high” as it did at first. The brain will demand more stimulation. Maybe it will start as bikini or lingerie models. Or soft core stuff on YouTube. But eventually it’s going to lead you right back to the beginning of a viscous cycle."

    I actually experienced the same before. But you know... I think it's a good thing to "empty" sometimes in order to not have a wet dreams etc. If you have gf or wife, it easy you can have normal sex and there is nothing wrong on real sex. But if you are single guy with let's say "limited" social skills in the middle of lockdown. It's not that easy to find someone. And I am still not sure that I am prepared for full 90 days PMO. I will think of it tho.
     
  7. op_jack

    op_jack Fapstronaut

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    That is a fair point, however I feel like wet dreams often have more intense sexual thoughts/dreams behind them than normal thoughts could. If I go back to M once a week like @open your eyes said and I notice the urges start getting higher I can always go back to what I was doing first.
     
  8. op_jack

    op_jack Fapstronaut

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    Yes I was thinking like once a week as well
     
  9. UncleBroom

    UncleBroom Fapstronaut

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    Then u will get back to porn
    There is no escape from and masturbation is not a normal thing to do dont listen to all that nonsense
    If you do this you'll get right back to cumming on ur phone,laptop etc...
    Not everying we CAN do is normal
    For example we cun cut our finger so is it normal?or raping someone well its sth we can do so its normal right?
    Masturbation is just like them just because we can do it it doesnt make it normal
     
  10. op_jack

    op_jack Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate you sharing your opinion but after reading various sources and hearing from many others members I disagree with your statements. Whether masturbation is normal/healthy or not is debatable, but the comparisons you are making are straight up ridiculous.
     
    TheForsakeen and bulldawg1970 like this.
  11. PowerOverMind

    PowerOverMind Fapstronaut

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    Well done on completing your goal. Did you masturbate at all even if briefly during the 90 days?
     
  12. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

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    Yes but that is not happening under your conscious control. You are not making the choice. That’s a huge difference no matter how intense a dream can be
     
  13. Different Built

    Different Built Fapstronaut

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    I didn’t use to masturbate too frequently and not for too long and I have felt the benefits. However I have been going through depression for quite a while even after getting up to a 116 day streak. I believe we all still have underlying issues to work on, NoFap just amplifies benefits
     
    bulldawg1970 likes this.
  14. op_jack

    op_jack Fapstronaut

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    I didn't, very frequent wet dreams though (at least once a week
    Yes that's true but that is also part of my question, if I consciously make the choice to be okay with it, is it not better than something happening out of my control that does bug me a lot?
    I agree, I went into Nofap hoping for a magical cure for anxiety and depression that obviously didn't come, it has definitly been a good starting point to really start working on myself though.
    )
     

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