Addict For Hire

Sex addiction is not porn addiction.The science of porn addiction is still crawling.

 

You must watch this video. It explains why Porn can be classified as an addiction.

 

- uncontrolled sexual behavior: these are vague terms, and they correspond to sex addiction better than to porn addiction
- high sexual rise as to STDs: fits better to sex addiction
- emotional painkiller: yes, that's the reason why most people keep using PMO
- heavily changing state of mind: definitely no. There are highs due to orgasms but that's something different. I feel much more emotional highs and lows when I am abstaining. Frequent PMO numbs your emotions.
- neglection of self: absolutely.

As a porn addict I can identify with only 2 of the 5 criteria for sex addiction.

As a side note, the movie "Thank You For Sharing" deals with sex addiction, if that's something you could be interested in watching.

 

I also find that calling myself an "addict" is counterproductive. Rather call myself a success for recognizing that some of my behavior is harmful, and for taking action against it.

 

Of course, whatever works for others I do not want to take away. Just my own philosophy.

 

Yeah this is the kind of definition people (psychologists) who have an agenda (the social-liberal one) to label all sorts of aberrant and harmful sexual behavior as being totally fine and healthy.

Seriously: why would the word addiction mean something different when you put the word sex in front of it?

The American Society of addiction medicine classifies addiction like this:

"Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission."

Hits a little closer to the mark no?

In my own experience I spent 6 months trying to help a heroine addict, had him living in my home. He gained little from my help. But I learned a lot about myself... in a nutshell: I was just like him my drug is just PMO.

 

But is that just an emotional reaction to something you consider to be a negative label? How important is that? Recognizing your problem as an addiction means you can avail yourself of the many things that have helped other addicts. Ironically the heroine addict I mentioned earlier did not go to NA meetings precisely because he hated saying the "I'm x and I'm an addict". But really the only justification he had for resisting that was pride and a conviction he was in control... and 3 years later he is still a mess

 

Can't say that he is still a mess bc he didn't go to meetings. My biggest problem with twelve step is that it insists it is the ONLY answer. in other words, even if someone find another way to stay clean, they are actually doing it wrong or could be doing it better. I've been to hundreds of meetings but will never do the steps. I know you disagree as I've had this conversation so many times.The Anonymous system is just like religion in that way: Half of the twelve steps declare that God is the best. More than half of religion is the same spiel. This is why anti-gay rights people are quickly losing the battle--bc without quoting the bible, they have no argument. Crap logic falls flat, but those peddling it are trained to repeat it over and over. I don't know why the heroin addict failed, but perhaps if he was able to find a system that was more helpful, he wouldn't have. One might equally argue he failed because he didn't find Jesus, Moses, Buddha, Satan. It's a shame when systems present themselves as the only answer and claim all who refuse to accept their dogma are failing. I do not accept God nor have I "worked the steps," yet I have also been off of drugs for over a decade.

I'm the minority, and I had guidance, but I did it. According to Anonymous, I'm actually ONLY "white knuckling" and hence, basically as fucked as I was on drugs. Fuck you, you self righteous pricks, Anonymos, for saying that about me.

According to many, many academic studies, twelve step success rates are abysmal...but of course, all those people didn't do it right, huh? And they should just try harder, not something else. If you are very sick and someone says to try a medicine that has been proven over and over not to work, you will not get benefit from it. You need to try different treatments that are available and find one that works for you.

Sorry for the rant but I am tired of twelve step rhetoric being crammed in my face as if I've done something wrong by not worshipping God and reminding myself I'm worthless. It's a backwards, shite system and someday very soon the other programs that are steadily growing power will be more abundant and available to heroin addicts and fapheads, too.

Why are you on this board? Go over to Porn Addicts Anon and thank God for taking the wheel. Whatever works for you, I can live with. But I've found a home here and am willing to share it with those who have similar goals, not those who tell me my methodology is wrong bc it's different from theirs.

Thank God for NoFap! Hallelujah! Amen!

 

It's all just words and beliefs and whichever of them work for you, fuck an A, keep doing it!

 

totally agree! nothing else to say except well done for doing it your way

 

Frankly I'm not sure who did. I appear to have sparked this by mentioning someone did not go to an NA meeting...

I didn't imply that. I implied he is a mess because of his pride, his unwillingness to admit weakness. He sensed there was something wrong with his shame so he over-compensated with fierce independence, which is no better. In the end he was barely able to consider what was said, quick to take offense and finding excuses to dismiss ppl. It's a familiar process as it was my default setting for a long time as well. I am not speaking of anonymous, I am speaking of all the the stuff I put him in touch with, non anonymous programs I paid for, meetings with recovered addicts, books, talks, therapy, work programs, over a period of 3 years, 6 months of which he was living at my house. I only suggested to try NA at the end and he balked at the first meeting because he wouldn't say he was an addict.

Seriously I do not know that much about them, I read through them a few times and they made sense to me, there was way more helpful stuff there than I could come up with on my own. As far as I can tell they are a loose framework, intended to do little more than facilitate discussion and set goals in group therapy. Something he really needed. Something I wish I had access to but I don't where I live.

Not sure why that matters. Still I didn't come across this, nor any mention of God, though I suppose they can be modified in many ways, you must have been at one that was modified for Christians? I actually have heard Christians complain they don't like 12 stes because the are not religious. Serious does it actually matter? Like you say you take what works and leave what doesn't. Why does the word God matter? This isn't a monty python movie. Just replace God with 'truth' or 'love' or "higher power"

The notion of a system or a program that "works" or "does not work" strikes me as unhelpful. The only people who actually
succeed at overcoming addictions appear to be the ones who truly want to and are willing to do whatever it takes to change. I often wonder if the success stories would have succeeded regardless of the programs. Yet I cannot deny that I learned a lot by studying addiction and addicts and recovered addicts.

Because it helps me. Why are you telling me to go away?